Forum Discussion
Janey235
13 years agoMember
A shared thought
Hi my pink sisters.
I've been lying awaking with thoughts going through my head and I thought I'd put them down and share them with you. I wrote a poem and called it WAITING. Here goes.
This was the day it all began.
I'll explain it all to you if I can.
I'm in a clinic awaiting my test.
A routine exam I have on my breasts.
I'm sitting in a chair. Waiting.
It's over now, on with life's daily grind.
I don't have any bad thoughts in my mind.
A letter arrives, I'm ill at ease.
I thought the mammogram would be a breeze.
I go to the hospital to have more tests.
I'm told not to worry, I'll do my best.
I'm sitting in a chair. Waiting.
Poked and prodded and scared right now.
Could this be happening I wonder. How?
Just days ago I felt care free.
Could this be happening? How could this be?
The results are in and I go back there.
Back to the hospital, I begin to despair.
And I sit in a chair. Waiting.
The worst news possible, my life turns around.
I cry out but there isn't a sound.
Plans are made but I'm spinning and turning.
I don't hear a thing.
By my ears are burning.
I fear the worst. It's black as night.
But my love is with me. He holds me tight.
Now it begins, this journey of mine.
More hospital visits, my new daily grind.
I sit in chairs. Waiting.
My body is cut, the invasion is gone.
I'm overwhelmed with relief, I can now carry on.
But now comes the hard times I'll need to endure.
With drugs I am hit. Is this a cure?
Long months go by, I'm in such pain.
I must go through it again and again.
Another infusion, just one more.
It's the hardest thing I've ever done before.
I sit in my chair. Waiting
I'm over the worst but with a hurdle to go.
Back to the hospital and this time I know
my body will be different than it was before.
I grieve and I ache to my very core.
But my love is with me, he holds me near.
He gives me strength, I should not fear.
I'm a survivor, I have come through.
It's like starting over, like starting anew.
The sun is shining, the clouds are abating.
I'm out of my chair, my life is waiting!
I hope you enjoy reading this. It gives me pleasure to share it.
Love to you all
Janey xxx
53 Replies
- sallywMember
Thanks Janey for that beautiful poem. That made me cry a little. I only cry sometimes as I am staying as positive as I can, it is words like yours that set me off. I was only diagnosed 2 months ago, so my journey so far has been short, however I could relate to so much of what you wrote and like you, I am lucky to have my love of my life with me also. So much waiting, but it will all be worth it in the end. Sally xx.
- Janey235MemberGood luck with all of that Ngaire. Hope your chemo hasn't got long to go. That's a great day, awesome feeling when that's done and dusted. Love Janey xxx
- StemgirlMember
I saw the surgeon today and it looks like the same sort of op is in store for me once chemo is finished and I've "recovered". Still have to see the plastic surgeon to sort out details. I was hoping he'd say a "simple" mastectomy with implants would be the way to go, but he says autologous tissue has better outcomes with nothing foreign in my body. Not so sure about that.......
Will be thinking of you next week x
- Janey235MemberOf course you can share it. I only hope it doesn't make too many people cry. Everyone I've shown it too has. But in a good way though. Cheers Janey xxx
- susiewMember
Janey, this is fabulous...well done. Thanks for sharing. I would love to share with my breast cancer support group if ok with you? Wishing you all the best, Susie xx
- My thoughts exactly! Poem is a great reflection! X
- Janey235Member
Thanks for your lovely comments. I am writing a journal about my journey but to tell you the truth, I've never written poems in my life before. My mum wrote songs for my Dad's band so maybe I got something from her. I love to draw and paint and have tried to do a little while I've been off work but with my hands so sore with neuropathy, it's been a bit difficult. I'll persevere though and take it up again. Love Janey xxx
- Janey235MemberOkay I might do that and yes of course you can read it at your meetings. I'm rather chuffed that you liked it. Janey :)
- LouiseTurnerIn Memoriam
Hi Janey, I mean perhaps having it published in the beacon so its always available for women even those not on this online forum. Just a thought.
Do you mind if this poem is used at BC support group meetings etc. It would be lovely to read to an audience, I read it to my hubby and his tears started to flow again. very powerful.
L:)
- Janey235MemberThat's great news that you can finally go ahead with your plans. Hope you get a date very soon and it's not too far away so you can put this behind you too. Love Janey xxx