Forum Discussion
Janey235
13 years agoMember
A shared thought
Hi my pink sisters.
I've been lying awaking with thoughts going through my head and I thought I'd put them down and share them with you. I wrote a poem and called it WAITING. Here goes.
This was the day it all began.
I'll explain it all to you if I can.
I'm in a clinic awaiting my test.
A routine exam I have on my breasts.
I'm sitting in a chair. Waiting.
It's over now, on with life's daily grind.
I don't have any bad thoughts in my mind.
A letter arrives, I'm ill at ease.
I thought the mammogram would be a breeze.
I go to the hospital to have more tests.
I'm told not to worry, I'll do my best.
I'm sitting in a chair. Waiting.
Poked and prodded and scared right now.
Could this be happening I wonder. How?
Just days ago I felt care free.
Could this be happening? How could this be?
The results are in and I go back there.
Back to the hospital, I begin to despair.
And I sit in a chair. Waiting.
The worst news possible, my life turns around.
I cry out but there isn't a sound.
Plans are made but I'm spinning and turning.
I don't hear a thing.
By my ears are burning.
I fear the worst. It's black as night.
But my love is with me. He holds me tight.
Now it begins, this journey of mine.
More hospital visits, my new daily grind.
I sit in chairs. Waiting.
My body is cut, the invasion is gone.
I'm overwhelmed with relief, I can now carry on.
But now comes the hard times I'll need to endure.
With drugs I am hit. Is this a cure?
Long months go by, I'm in such pain.
I must go through it again and again.
Another infusion, just one more.
It's the hardest thing I've ever done before.
I sit in my chair. Waiting
I'm over the worst but with a hurdle to go.
Back to the hospital and this time I know
my body will be different than it was before.
I grieve and I ache to my very core.
But my love is with me, he holds me near.
He gives me strength, I should not fear.
I'm a survivor, I have come through.
It's like starting over, like starting anew.
The sun is shining, the clouds are abating.
I'm out of my chair, my life is waiting!
I hope you enjoy reading this. It gives me pleasure to share it.
Love to you all
Janey xxx
53 Replies
- StemgirlMember
Thanks Mich and Janey, sure I'd be happy to. I have to visit those rooms again this Thursday as I meet with the surgeon to discuss mastectomy options. Hopefully the trees outside that window will now have blossoms. Will put the photos together then, although it's looking like I'll have a few more sessions of 'waiting' there over the coming months.
- mum2jjMember
Hi Janey,
I am having a prophylactic mastectomy and double diep/tram reconstruction one day soon. I have been cancelled twice due to low neutrophils/platelets. They are low normal.l but my PS wanted me to see my oncolgist before I go ahead. I have just heard my oncologist happy with all the results and he has written to my PS so hopefully will have something decided soon.
Good luck next week.
WIll be thinking of you.
Paula
- Janey235MemberMy big op is next week. Double mastectomy and reconstruction with DIEP hopefully. By this time next Tuesday I will hopefully be in recovery. Sounds like you have been on this road a long time and I'm sending you lots of luck for your final op. When are you having it? Hugs to you Paula Janey xxx
- Janey235Member
Yes we'd all love to see your photos. Judging by the photos of your beautiful garden, they should be lovely. My garden is also full of weeds but I look past that and to what my husband and I have planted over the years. Some died in the drought but the strong, tenacious ones survived and that's the way I've looked at my journey. Strength to you too. Janey xxx
- Mich_xMember
Thank you Janey from the bottom of my heart. I hope I can give back what was and continues to be given to me by all my very precious and very beautiful caring and understanding pink sisters every day.
I wish you well, Mich xoxoxo
- Mich_xMember
Ngaire, we would so love you to share those photos with us as you also have a gift that we would love you to make us a part of.
Love Mich xooxox
- mum2jjMember
What a beautiful and accurate account of what we have all been through. Felt you were writing my story...and you were. I too am waiting for a final op.
thanks again,
good luck.
Paula ;)
- Janey235MemberYes life is good right now. I've still got the op to go but I feel like I'm coming out the the tunnel now and I can truly move forward. Hope your holiday will be a wonderful adventure. Enjoy. Love Janey xxx
- Janey235MemberIt was an absolute pleasure to share whats in my heart. I have followed your posts and comments and you have done so much to encourage and comfort all of us. Words aren't really enough to let you know that you are loved. Janey xxx
- Janey235MemberGreat that you've got the best results. Take care of yourself whatever your journey is next. Celebrate life my dear. Love Janey xxx