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Caron's avatar
Caron
Member
15 years ago

A busy afternoon...

Today I went and met the cancer nurse in the cancer ward of my hospital, she is a lovely lady whos' daughter had breast cancer., and she gives good hugs, it was nice just having someone listen and acknowledge my fears of what lays ahead.

I came out of the meeting with a lot of information, which is a good thing, although my mind is swimming with all that has gone on today.

I proceeded to then go to my appointment with my Doctor who is going to do the surgery. Its scheduled for next Wednesday, a mastectomy and removal of nodes of my left breast. I have what they call a star(but i like stars...so i have renamed it the 'spider'...

For the first time...im scared, and feel somewhat alone in all this

  • Caron's avatar
    Caron
    Member
    15 years ago

    I managed to get a few hours sleep last night, up at 6am this morning, i left a few things to itdy up this morning, to try keep the brain busy.

    I do hope that things settle so that you can get some rest this week, and i hope that the situation eases regarding your son., its not easy times. Amazing what a typed 'hug' or 'hug' verbally announced over the phone can do...the magic powers of being a 'Mum'.

    Take care and be safe, you and Carren are in my thoughts, and i know that you are with me today.

    Caron xox

  • Caron's avatar
    Caron
    Member
    15 years ago

    I managed to get a few hours sleep last night, up at 6am this morning, i left a few things to itdy up this morning, to try keep the brain busy.

    I do hope that things settle so that you can get some rest this week, and i hope that the situation eases regarding your son., its not easy times. Amazing what a typed 'hug' or 'hug' verbally announced over the phone can do...the magic powers of being a 'Mum'.

    Take care and be safe, you and Carren are in my thoughts, and i know that you are with me today.

    Caron xox

  • fishav's avatar
    fishav
    Member
    15 years ago

    Sure I advised you to go to bed early!!! Good advice is not always easy to take!

    As for me, it is my week "off" from chemo, time for R & R, but I have a son living many miles away going through a rough time & ringing me in tears - 2 out of the last 3 nights! - so my rest time is not really happening!

    If my magic broomstick was in service I would hop on it & go give him a hug - damn thing is broken!

    Anyways, thinking of you - will be holding your hand all the way tomorrow.

    xoxo

  • Caron's avatar
    Caron
    Member
    15 years ago

    Thankyou Fiona,

    For your kind words and encouragement. And tips about the pain relief...

    Just having you two lovely ladies to talk to, makes me feel comforted and not so alone, I feel so lost at the moment, and exhausted.

    Fingers are crossed for my surgery tomorrow,

    Talk soon, once again thankyou

    Take care

    Caron x 

  • Cazz's avatar
    Cazz
    Member
    15 years ago

    Hi Caron,

    Good luck tomorrow, I hope all goes well. I will be thinking of you. Be selfish and think of something nice to do for yourself once your surgery is over. You deserve it!!

    Caren x

  • Cazz's avatar
    Cazz
    Member
    15 years ago

    Hi Caron,

    Good luck tomorrow, I hope all goes well. I will be thinking of you. Be selfish and think of something nice to do for yourself once your surgery is over. You deserve it!!

    Caren x

  • fishav's avatar
    fishav
    Member
    15 years ago

    Hello Caron,

    You have been in my thoughts all weekend! Caren has given you the same advice that has been running through my head - she is just a bit quicker than me! I'm glad you have found some support from your Breast Care Nurse - she will be invaluable to you. The other good idea is to find someone locally that you can relate to, maybe through a support group, or the local Cancer Council office - they usually have some volunteers who are specifically trained to help in these difficult situations. I wish I didn't live so far away - I would come give you a hug & try to help along the way.

    And yes, your life has changed - no 2 ways about it - Breast Cancer is a life changing & challenging event for anyone. But you need to give yourself permission to be totally selfish for a while & devote all your energy to getting through what lies ahead.

    Take care of you, and try to get a good night's sleep tonight - you won't really get "rest" in hospital so make the most of your cosy bed tonight!

    Hang in there, and keep us posted when you feel up to it - & remember, this is your journey & there are no rules - so go kick some Cancer butt!!

    Good luck tomorrow - and be sure to get plenty of pain relief - being tough is over-rated sometimes!!!

    Bye for now,

    Fiona :-)

  • Caron's avatar
    Caron
    Member
    15 years ago

    Hello Caren,

    Thankyou for your friend invite, greatly appreciated.

    I talked to my Doctors, and my cancer care nurse, they all said the same thing. That this is time for me, to put myself first, and let the grieviences with my mum be pushed aside for the moment, as i need to be less stressed and worried, with my operation on Wednesday.

    Its true what they have said, and i did this today...whilst keeping busy doing my will kit and letters to my children. Not an easy task to do, but...its being prepared for the just in case moment. I used to be in bed and asleep at 12.23am...my oh my, how my life has changed...

    Once again...thankyou

    Regards, Caron x

  • Cazz's avatar
    Cazz
    Member
    15 years ago

    Hi Caron,

    I think it's a good idea to speak to your medical team. They will be able to advise you and offer support. It's such a tough time! Keep in touch and let me know how you get on.

    Thinking of you - Caren x

  • Caron's avatar
    Caron
    Member
    15 years ago

    Hello Fiona,

    Thankyou for your reply, was lovely to hear from you.

    Since the 20th November 2010, life has changed dramatically, everything that i knew, life, the person, the woman, the mum i was...its all changed. And now, unfortunately since yesterday - so has the relationship that i thought i had, wth my mum., I went to my parents place for love and support over a nice lunch...or so i thought...as it turned out...mum tore me to shreds yesterday, she has broken my heart.

    Its all too much to take in at the moment...and after a very sleepless night and many tears, i am thinking that i will look for a different support network that is loving and supportive...maybe...i dont know..im just lost at the moment, and in shock at some of the things that mum yelled at me...