4 Years and Counting

Hi Anne, firstly, my apologies for not getting back to you sooner. I've been away looking after my parents, who were both unwell and they don't have any computer access.

Like Kath, I think you need to know that it is perfectly natural and normal to be anxious when questions about whether chemo would be beneficial or not, and hopefully the oncologist will give you the information and guidance you need so that you feel more confident with the next steps. You could ask the oncologist why your surgeon is suggesting chemo would not be necessary to try and better understand your situation. I actually got two oncologist's opinions and although they slightly differed regarding the drugs and doseage needed for chemo, they were essentially very similar in recommending chemo (and Herceptin for the HER2 positive tumour) so I felt more knowledgeable about proceeding with that step (although no less anxious about actually doing it). 

In the first 12 months to 2 years after my treatment (and certainly throughout it) I was very anxious about recurrence, and although that worry has not gone away, especially during follow-up scans etc it is not as consuming as it once was. Given you are on anti-anxiety meds, I would certainly include your concerns in your discussion with the oncologist and they may suggest increasing your dosage, just for a short while if they think it may help. Speaking to a Counsellor, joining a support group or attending an Encore (exercise program for breast cancer patients / survivors) may be just as valuable though as sometimes just meeting others who are going through / have been through similar treatment can be very therapeutic and a great way to not feel so alone with it all. I really enjoyed the Encore classes as I was able to meet other ladies in a relaxed exercise setting and just chat informally about our varying experiences. I have actually been twice: once during treatment and recently when I needed a bit of motivation to get exercising again and improve my lymphodoema.

Anne, I don't think I have any magic formula for getting this far along. I think we are all very fortunate that survival rates have skyrocketed in the past decade as better, more targeted treatments have come on board and this is something I needed to keep reminding myself when I'd slip into those darker thoughts. Kath's suggestions about developing an exercise program are very sound. It's important to do what you can manage around working full-time but I do understand that motivation can sometimes get the better of us. My husband has recently been given a Fitbit and he finds this a great motivator and has improved his fitness level, which is a great thing given that he is prone to episodes of depression. Am thinking I might need something similar to help me :-)

Hope this helps a bit, but please feel free to pm me or to post on here. This online community is very supportive and was a great help to me, especially during my reconstruction. 

Best wishes Anne, I hope that your appointment with the oncologist goes well and helps to ease your mind a bit. Hugs, Jane xx