4 Years and Counting

Hi Anne, I'm not sure any of us ever totally get over the fear of recurrence. I still have times (usually leading up to scans or if I have some other ailment which I immediately catastrophise!) when this happens but I'm hoping as time goes on it becomes less of an issue. I tend to try and distract myself with lots of other activities (seeing friends, doing things with the kids, writing etc) just beforehand. I sometimes also write out my fears in a private blog just to get it all out.

I was a bit worried that I'd feel cut adrift when all the active treatment had finished but the regular checks / scans etc carried out by my oncologist and surgeon give some reassurance that all is ok.

Moving on from treatment (I'm also on Tamoxifen now) has been a bit of a struggle, particularly mentally, as so many things have changed and I'm still coming to terms with my "new normal" (whatever that means). I'm at the point where I'm about to go and talk to someone about these issues and hopefully make some sense of it all.

Lots of people will give their 2 cents worth about what you should be doing - and there is definite merit to improving diet, increasing exercise and cutting back on alcohol - but I don't believe these things don't need to be drastic changes as most people won't keep it up. I have cut back on my wine (but I still enjoy a glass or two a week), reduced my coffee intake, try to walk or exercise (gardening / swimming etc) most days (even through treatment) and am working on continuing to improve my diet (although it was quite good pre-cancer). I also got a lot out of the YWCA's free 8 week exercise program, Encore, which is specially designed for women with breast cancer and combines land and water exercise with sessions on nutrition etc - it was also a good place to meet others and chat about issues (if you wanted to) - check out the YWCA's website for details. Finding a good physio that can help with some of the other issues that have arisen (lymphodema, spinal realignment due to single mastectomy etc) was helpful. Also, my reconstruction in 2014 was a positive turning point for me, but of course this may not be everyone's cup of tea :-)

Best wishes for the remainder of your treatment, it is an intense and exhausting time so take it easy and don't worry too much about other people's (no doubt well-intentioned) advice. Jane xx