Yep I am there

Hi Caz,

I do hope things in your family have now settled a little after your recent hectic times of stress with health issues & the like.

I also hope that when you attended the conference in Queensland you were able to hopefully source some information with regard to dealing with your sons anger towards you being sick etc.

When I was first diagnosed in 2000 ( a little while back now I know), my eldest was 10 & my youngest 6, with another one 8yrs. My eldest (girl) really took my news badly as she was convinced she too would be sick when she grew up. My two boys although probably angry with me at the time, expressed their anger in the way of my not being available to their needs of friends play & going to places etc etc.

I found wonderful help in contacting the state cancer council (I am in Vic) & they were marvellous. They were all to aware of not much being available in publication, but offered the resources of counsellors my kids to use, & also for their being able to access the facilities associated with Canteen. I didnt realise that Canteen also caters for children who have sick parents with cancer.

I hope that you have already found the answers you have been seeking, but if not, you, or others in your situation, who read this, may find some benefit from what i have written.

Wishing you all the best, Tina  :)

 

 

 

 

 

There seems to be a huge lack of information in how to help children through this tough time. If it isn't bad enough that you have breast cancer and you're just trying to get yourself through the treatment process in one piece.. you have to work out , what, how, when and how much to tell the kids and how to manage their reactions....

My daughter (5 years old) became quite angry when I had to shave my head, and didn't want the kids at school to know I had no hair. Fortunately her class had lots of boys that thought me shaving my head was "cool" so she was a bit happier after that...

My Son who is 8 is haivng a rough time more so now that I have finished treatment and has fallen further behind at school and said to me just yesterday "cancer means you can die doesn't it Mummy?" This broke my heart...he has developed a nervous tick and has anxiety when myself or my husband go out for any length of time.

I have found a couple of publications on how to deal with some of the issues but really there isn't much information around.

Goodness knows how you would feel when you're just little (my 3 were under 7 when I was diagnosed), Mum is the center of your world,  then suddenly Mum is sick....really sick...you might lose her....It must be so hard for the kids to get their head around. and the impact on them must be enormous. I have sort the advice of counsillors in my children's sake and have gotten some good advice from them.

I think with more and more women getting diagnosed younger and younger there needs to be more information and support for Mums with kids to consider.

Talk soon :O)

Hi Belinda Great that you are coming to the Gold Coast. It is always a little sad to be the youngest . I was the youngest always at chemo and always was a bit sad and a little peeved at that too. That is why I think this conference will prove so important to us "youngies", we will all have so much in common. How long since your treatment finished? In time your children will understand what happened, and in time they will forget and just be normal little kids again. Talk soon. Tanya

Samantha You only want a holiday and a chance to drink dirty stinking grog with me!!!!!!!!! whoo hoo. Who else is in?? Seriously, it really is great that there is a conference for so many of us young ones. Isn't it funny that prior to my diagnosis I used to consider myself old at 36, now I realise that I was and am young......... See you all soon, Tanya xx

Yep it is me!!!!!!! Met you in hospital and showed you my boobs, or lack of. lol Sorry only just read this one in here. Cant wait for the Gold Coast, I think it is going to be great to catch up!! Talk some more soon. Tanya

I am one of the youngest member in my support group, diagnosed at 33 years old but I have met women who were diagnosed younger. The issues that we face with young children, wanting to have more children, relationships, sexuality are sooo very different to that of women you are older. For me I was just extremely lucky to have a wonderful group of friends and family who helped out during the months of treatment so I was able to keep my children's lives as normal as possible (even though Mum was bald and couldn't get out of bed sometimes!) The impact on the children was tough and my son in particular is still struggling to come to terms with it all. This conference will be such a wonderful way to meet other lovely ladies who have had similar issues! and hopefully find out some ways I can now assist my children in understanding what happened to Mummy... :O) B

Hi Tanya I have strong feeling you are the lady I met just after my surgery in November 09 up in Townsville. Am I right? Do you live in CT with a young family and had only started a new business with your hubby when you were diagnosed? I am heading to the GC for the event - so it will be great to see you again!

Hi girls, I'm off to the Gold Coast as well as Tanya! I'm looking forward to this conference being more about the issues of Breast Cancer and us "younger" women. I was 37 (3 yrs ago) when I was diagnosed and there are many issues surrounding this age group that are in desparate need of addressing. Eg. Children, Working, Self Esteem, Reconstruction, Relationships with Partners, Life AFTER BC. Hope to see a few of you there. Sam x