Waiting to feel well again....

Hi Little Red, I am never sure whether to tell it how it is or to sugar coat it.  I was dizzy/shaky as well as other symptoms.  I ended up in hospital for a week and 10 days respectively for the first two doxetaxel (even though they reduced the dose to 80% on the second one), they reduced it to 70% for the third and I didnt end up in hospital but I was still really sick.  I have been really badly affected by the chemo and even though I had my last dose at the end of June, I am still unwell.  I have had a bone scan which shows that I now have osteoporosis (I never did before).  Some days I still have difficulty walking and I have have been unable to return to work yet.  My last appointment the oncologist told me that I am one of the worst cases of reaction to the docetaxel that he has ever seen (ditto the breast care nurses).  Has told me that a blood test has shown positive to an auto-immune disease and I am now getting a referral to a Rheumatologist.  After research on the internet it seems that this is a severe reaction to the chemotherapy which can bring on an auto-immune disease.  I am still shaky now after all this time.    I really understand how sick you are feeling.   I was told by the Oncologist that I will probably make a full recovery so I am just going to try to not push it anymore.  I had the idea that when I finished the chemo I would be better.  Not true for me.  My hair is starting to grow back and I now have eyebrows and eyelashes again, and pubic hair is starting to regrow.   Everyone keeps telling me I look so well.  Well all that new skin that chemo gives you certainly makes you look well and because I am sick of being sick I always tell people I am fine when they ask.  To let you know how far I have come, before my first operation in January (I had two in one month) I was running 5 ks every day and I have never had a day of illness in my life.  I am not a malingerer or hypochondriac.  Dont think this will help you but I can say that I honestly know how sick you feel.   I guess we all just get through it. For me it is like the cure is worse than the actual breast cancer and that cant be right can it?  I am thinking of you.