Trying to keep it together

Hi,

All the comments that have preceded mine, I concur with. Finding strength in adversity is challenging. There will be dark days for you, as you are grieving the loss of your child and the loss of your previous life without the diagnosis of cancer. For me, writing a blog, has helped me make sense, keep focused and as a legacy in case the outcome, is less than I plan for. This site is invaluable, as only other women with TBNC know how it feels to have this diagnosis. There is too much 'negativity' in the diagnosis. 

There is great hope and applying both the allopathic and traditional methods of health treatments is a good idea. Time to call in those favours and ask for support. Finding a way to involve your children without causing too much fear, is also important. In this, others will need to assist, as I have grown sons. There must be some support from the Cancer Council in this. I am sure other women on this site, would have solid strategies.

Take care of yourself. It is a marathon, not at sprint, and an exercise in patience. My thoughts are with you.

God Bless,

Te

Hey girls (and boys),

I'm sensing a lot of negativity around the "treatability" of TNBC: can I just say that the research literature demonstrates that it is treatable.. it's treated aggressively because it is more persistent than other variants, and once chemo & radiation are over there is no ongoing medication. I spent months reading oncology journals in the first 2 years of my journey, stressing at every new pain, stressing when the PET scans showed a "concerning" image ..but 3 years in (which is according to the literature one of  the key markers) I'm still here, I'm still clear. Please, don't succumb to the "most difficult" = "not treatable" dichotomy as it's not true. Just make sure you enjoy life, enjoy your loved ones & do what you want. It's just had bad press,  and one of the positive things we can take from that is live life fully!!! And if being a "special" person is getting you down remember that the Cancer Council have some wonderful counselling programs, including "mindfulness" meditation ( and yes I took that pathway 18 months in). What's that stupid old saying about lemons... "if life hands you lemons, make lemonade"...

Well said Leonie.

Lots of love always, best wishes and love and support on you way.

Mich xoxo

The ladies have given you some wonderful advice.  I am so glad that you have found this site.  It will be a valuable source of support to you during your treatment and as long after as you feel the need.  Lovely to "see" Michelle on the site giving support.  It doesn't seem very long ago that Michelle was entering the "start and go forward" section of her own bc journey.  As she has stated the treatment is doable and it does come to the end (sometimes it seems .......................).  I feel for your loss of the little one.  What a blessing to have your 5 "babies" to help you through.  They will give you lots of love and I am sure your lost bubba will be looking after you from a distance. Best wishes XLeonie

Catherine, A short message just to wish you well.

Ditto to everything written already and I am thinking of you and your family.

Hey Catherine

I read your blog early hours of this morning and thought to myself I can't reply to this poor luv as I just didn't have the words.

I am wide awake now and I still don't have to words.

I totally re-iterate everything above that your other pink sisters have said and agree that life can be just so bloody unfair sometimes. I am so very very sorry for your loss and now for your diagnosis. BUT you have made a good move in finding BCNA and all of us to support you when you need us.

When you can find the time (with 5 kids it won't be easy) have a good read and search around the site here and you will find support, advice and also some reality and hopefully it will all help you to get through. I am sure you are doing it tough.

I hope you have a lot of support around you. There is support out there with Cancer Council which have a hotline that you can call whenever you need them on 131120. They are there to listen or give advice if you need it, just like we are. They can also help financially should you be in need.

Try and rally support with mums from kids school etc. for pick up, drop offs, meals, help around the house and whatever else you need. Don't be frightened to ask because you will find most people will want to help but just don't know how.

Michelle's advice above is great as the "My Journey Kit" became my bible and it went everywhere with me. It is also a great help to be able to keep a journal of how you are feeling and just to get it out there but you can do that with us as well. Make sure you collect a copy of medical reports and/or films etc. along the way as they are needed for comparisons further down the track (as I found out). Also if you are like me and can find the time and like to read there is a good book called "Breast Cancer Taking Control" by Prof. John Boyages which I think you can purchase from this site as well. I found it very good reading.

I am so sorry you have had to join us but so glad you have found us and I am hoping we can help you through your journey. Hugs coming your way.

Lots of love, Mich xoxo

I am so very sorry to read your story - January was an utterly terrible month for you and I can't begin to imagine how you handled it. You are a very strong woman, and an amazing example for your 5 children.

I also am TNBC and just finished the whole treatment of surgery/chemo/radio/hysterectomy (as a preventative measure). I just wanted to tell you that it is all do-able, and that there is light at the end of the tunnel. Just focus on one day at a time, keep your appointment diary up to date (do you have the My Journey kit from this site?) and write down every question you can think of before appointments, because you won't remember them later. (Chemo-brain is a true fact iof life - luckily it does go away eventually!)

There is a TNBC group on this site, and their stories might help to give you some comfort. Some are new like you, some having treatment like you, and some through the whole lot, like me. Do you know what stage and grade you were? There is a lot of information in the kit to understand your diagnosis and treatment decisions.

I am so glad you found us here - the support is wonderful - your pink sisters understand because we have been there ourselves. Take care and keep posting so we know how you are going. Sending you a big hug. Michelle xx