triple negative terror
I'm scared and feel so utterly hopeless. I don't know what to do. This feels like the end of my life. How do you all get through. How do you face the future scared of what it may bring?
Forum Discussion
8 Replies
- My breast cancer was triple negative and at first it freaked me out. Try not to take yourself to places you don't need to go. I had my surgery April 2012 and now am trying to do all I can to keep myself well. Ask for help on here it was so good to come here with a concern and know I wasn't alone. Sorry you are finding yourself on this journey I wish you all the best. Deb xxx
Hi Mandy,
I can relate to how you may be feeling. I have kind of had triple negative but not in a breast cancer way.
I had a brain tumour removed in Nov 2002 - and months then years of follow ups for that. On the 9th anniversary of that I got the news that it may have been back. Further MRIs show it is probably scar tissue or residual matter. Next MRI in March will hopefully confirm this.
In Jan 2009 I had an invasive thyroid cancer and central lymph nodes removed. 2 bouts of radio active iodine followed - unsuccessful due to no uptake. Of course I had a rare, aggressive type that then needed 2 further major surgeries to resect a bit of the trachea and removed right neck lymph nodes then to resect the cricoid (top of the trachea). External beam radiation (using a large dose with wide field) followed then by 2 bouts of lasering inside my throat to try to open the airway better. Been left with right vocal cord palsy which led to me being retired on the grounds of ill health (was a teacher and my voice can't carry at all now - even after 6 months with a speech therapist).
Oct 2013 I was told by the neck surgeon that they may have finally got it all and beaten it (first time he was game to say this) then Nov 2013 I have a mammogram (first one they had allowed due to all I had been through) only to be told I had breast cancer - the external beam radiation increased my risk of this occurring.
Had a left mastectomy and sentinal node taken (pathology shows all clear, estrogen positive) - no reconsturction allowed due to past history. Would normally be having radiation and chemo but have been advised that, given my whole history, these won't be happening - have already had heaps of radiation to the area and the negatives of chemo for me woulf far outweigh any positives (and told it would only mean a 2% difference in my 10 year survival rate).
Hormone tablets I am being put on have rare risk of uterine cancer - in my case doctors have told me they aren't taking any chances with me and they will basicly be keeping me under a microscope from now on. So back to watch and wait -
So I can relate to feeling like all you can think about is cancer coming back and dying before your time. When they told me I had breast cancer I thought "Here we go again!" with "Give me a break!" quickly following. It is hard to hear and it is harder getting through it all - but we do what we have to do. We can fall in a heap and cry all the time or we can get on and do what has to be done. People tell me I am strong but I tell them I don't have a choice as the alternative really isn't an option.
You will get through this. Lean on those around you when you need to. If there was ever a time to be selfish, it is now. You will find you may lose some friends or even family who can't cope with all of this - and you will gain new friends (like me!) by sharing your story with others - do all you can but you can only live one day at a time and only once - so do it for you.
And remember - scars are tattoos just with more interesting stories!
Tracy xxx
Hi Mandy,
I can relate to how you may be feeling. I have kind of had triple negative but not in a breast cancer way.
I had a brain tumour removed in Nov 2002 - and months then years of follow ups for that. On the 9th anniversary of that I got the news that it may have been back. Further MRIs show it is probably scar tissue or residual matter. Next MRI in March will hopefully confirm this.
In Jan 2009 I had an invasive thyroid cancer and central lymph nodes removed. 2 bouts of radio active iodine followed - unsuccessful due to no uptake. Of course I had a rare, aggressive type that then needed 2 further major surgeries to resect a bit of the trachea and removed right neck lymph nodes then to resect the cricoid (top of the trachea). External beam radiation (using a large dose with wide field) followed then by 2 bouts of lasering inside my throat to try to open the airway better. Been left with right vocal cord palsy which led to me being retired on the grounds of ill health (was a teacher and my voice can't carry at all now - even after 6 months with a speech therapist).
Oct 2013 I was told by the neck surgeon that they may have finally got it all and beaten it (first time he was game to say this) then Nov 2013 I have a mammogram (first one they had allowed due to all I had been through) only to be told I had breast cancer - the external beam radiation increased my risk of this occurring.
Had a left mastectomy and sentinal node taken (pathology shows all clear, estrogen positive) - no reconsturction allowed due to past history. Would normally be having radiation and chemo but have been advised that, given my whole history, these won't be happening - have already had heaps of radiation to the area and the negatives of chemo for me woulf far outweigh any positives (and told it would only mean a 2% difference in my 10 year survival rate).
Hormone tablets I am being put on have rare risk of uterine cancer - in my case doctors have told me they aren't taking any chances with me and they will basicly be keeping me under a microscope from now on. So back to watch and wait -
So I can relate to feeling like all you can think about is cancer coming back and dying before your time. When they told me I had breast cancer I thought "Here we go again!" with "Give me a break!" quickly following. It is hard to hear and it is harder getting through it all - but we do what we have to do. We can fall in a heap and cry all the time or we can get on and do what has to be done. People tell me I am strong but I tell them I don't have a choice as the alternative really isn't an option.
You will get through this. Lean on those around you when you need to. If there was ever a time to be selfish, it is now. You will find you may lose some friends or even family who can't cope with all of this - and you will gain new friends (like me!) by sharing your story with others - do all you can but you can only live one day at a time and only once - so do it for you.
And remember - scars are tattoos just with more interesting stories!
Tracy xxx
- Can you feel this big cyber hug I am sending you? It most certainly is not inevitable.You can do this,and you will do this! You are going to be ok.xoxoxoxRobyn.
Right now it feels like it is invetiable that I will die young!!
- This is just for you Mandy!"Do not anticipate trouble or worry about what may never happen. Keep in the sunlight."- Benjamin Franklin
These Pink Sisters have been my lifeline and they will be yours as well!
Hugs,
Vicki oOo
- I was diagnosed having two different sorts of cancer lumps almost a year ago now. One was ER & HER2 + (triple positive) and the other was TNBC (triple negative) I was Stage 2 Grade 3 just like you. I was petrified like you in the beginning but I've come through a lumpectomy, 6 months of chemo, a double mastectomy and immediate reconstruction and various other health scares along the way. I am amazed at how quickly this year has gone and I am now other the worst. Don't put too much emphasis on grades and stages. These are really for the medical profession to figure out where you sit and what treatment you are given. TNBC responds very well to chemotherapy and is certainly not a death sentence. Mandy we all feel hopeless and scared to death at first with any type of BC. This is why we say take it "one day at a time". It's no use jumping ahead to a future none of us have any idea of. Try and focus on the here and now. You will have a plan of action soon and then you will be amazed at how things will settle into a sort of pattern. If chemo is part of that plan, then see it as the army that attack the little buggers and kill them. It will be rough, I won't gloss that over, but you will get through. You will find your inner strength to cope with what is ahead. I also recommend you call the cancer help line and talk with them. They are very helpful in easing your troubled mind. Stress and worry are very natural and you'll have your ups and downs. There is also a support group here for TNBC, here is the link http://www.bcna.org.au/group/16948. I think you'll find a lot of support there. The most important thing to remember is that you are not alone. Your family and friends will be there for you and we Pink Sisters are here as well to listen and give you love and understanding. We hold your hand. You can do this. Lots of hugs to you Mandy. Love Janey xxx
I am not triple negative, but I also have moments where I am scared of the future, I am trying to train my mind to focus on one day and one step at a time. It's not always easy, but as Deanne said, try and challenge these thoughts. All the worrying I have done over the years about what I now consider to be trivial things, before I even diagnosed with BC, were a complete waste of my time. I hope you can overcome your fears, and I'm sending you reassuring hugs, take care,
Hazel xx
