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Linda2151's avatar
Linda2151
Member
11 years ago

Totally lost it

Wow - thought I was holding it together so well!  Had lumpectomy mid September, following diagnosis early August, and expecting radiotherapy to follow.  But then post-surgery meeting early October hit me with the need for a mastectomy to be carried out tomorrow and will be followed by chemo!  Okay, dealing with all that (or so I thought)!  But when the parcel delivery van turned up with my 'soft forms' today I totally lost the plot (poor delivery driver) and that was before I'd even opened the parcel!  After getting brave enough to actually open it, my sobs turned to laughter (much to hubby's relief) as they look so huge and ugly!  I'm now wondering what will happen if I put one in and it looks bigger than the boob that's been left!  Will be glad when tomorrow is over and I can then get back to 'dealing with it'!

9 Replies

  • rowdy's avatar
    rowdy
    Member
    11 years ago

    Hi Trace I love the idea of  a screaming wall, I think I need one

  • Anonymous's avatar
    Anonymous
    11 years ago

    Hey Linda, I reckon that it's normal to cry, the breast care nurses go through dozens of boxes of tissues. You've had your world turned upside down, so you're allowed to let it all out, like all of us have. Best not to hold emotions in, I have a screaming wall in the middle of nowhere that I go to just for swearing, yelling, screaming, crying, etc, etc, etc. while nobody else is with me. Be gentle on yourself as the other members have advised, that bloody drain tube is one of the worst things that I have ever experienced, mine stayed in for 10 days, got infected, and the pain when it came out.... Needed the screaming wall that day, good grief !! We are all sending you a big cuddle, Trace xxxx

  • rowdy's avatar
    rowdy
    Member
    11 years ago

    Hi Linda I think I have filled a lake with tears. you are not a sook. This is a rough trip all any of us want is to feel good. Try not to think to far ahead deal with today and try not t worry about tomorrow. Sending you a hug and a laughxx

  • Bridieandtony's avatar
    Bridieandtony
    Member
    11 years ago

    Linda, you are SO NOT a sook! This is such a challenge and hard thing to deal with. Please be gentle to yourself and if you feel you need the professional help and care listen to your body and ask for help. Remember the "1 step at a time" suggestion that has been uttered here online so many times! The tears will become less and the smiles more.....1 step at a time! X B

  • Linda2151's avatar
    Linda2151
    Member
    11 years ago

    Thanks people for well wishes!  Sadly the crying is taking over now and I can't seem to stop!  I was foisted out of hospital the next day, despite all those tears, and they haven't stopped since.  I hate this drain, don't understand how to read it and keep getting tangled in it.  The site is sore and itchy and falling apart - breast nurse managed to get an earlier appointment for me than the 9th Nov they'd given me, so will get it checked this Thursday.  Would be a basket case if it wasn't for support from hubby and family - particularly one daughter who has down to earth advice (and lots of tissues).  Can't bear to think what's ahead - I must be a real sook!  Hats off to all these ladies who are coping so well!

  • Anonymous's avatar
    Anonymous
    11 years ago

    Hi Linda, wishing you all the very best for your surgery, Trace ??????

  • rowdy's avatar
    rowdy
    Member
    11 years ago

    Good luck tomorrow. The only way I got through my trip was having a good cry or a good laugh take carex

  • Flutter_By's avatar
    Flutter_By
    Member
    11 years ago

    Hey Linda, it's ok to lose it every now and then, be kind to yourself, you don't have to stay strong all the time! 

    At times the tears have come at most unexpected times for me, I'm bopping along 'coping' and then something who knows what triggers the flood gates and I'm left sitting there going what! Where have these come from! But just roll with it, and have a good howl then continue getting on with it!

    Im glad you found some laughter, just think not everybody gets a boob in the mail! Good luck tommorrow xx

  • Jenny_Bullen's avatar
    Jenny_Bullen
    Member
    11 years ago

    Hi Linda

    I wish you all the best for your surgery. I had my mastectomy in mid August and have been tackling with the soft form since. Your post gave me a smile as I made an appointment  for a prosthesis and bra fitting appointment tomorrow and it suddenly hit me that these appointments are going to be the norm ! I thought  I had been tough but little things out of the blue sometimes bring you down. Keep smiling girl and laugh when you can even if it is over a soft form boob !