Well, tomorrow is the big day for the masectomy! Here at last! It seems funny to look forward to it but I had a lumpectomy last July followed by chemo and knew then that the breast had to come off so it has seemed like forever to get here. Now I just want to get it over with, I'm scared I will change my mind and say no, you can't have it If I wait much longer....... Terrified-YES, not from the surgery but the emotional fallout afterward. I was going to go into my workplace toaday just to say hello, but have chickened out, I'm scared that someone will offer me too much empathy and I will lose it! I know it is only a "body part" but why is so many emotions tied to it??? I had a hysterectomy 6 years ago, I am extremely maternal and I thought that I might grieve afterwards but didn't so I find myself a bit surprised at my reaction to this. I WILL hang in there, I WILLL keep smiling! Because that is me and I WILL NOT let this disease get the better of me physically or emotionally!! Everyone says I'm a tough chook, so if they say it I must be! Take care everyone and keep smiling! Sandy

Hey Sandy All the best for tomorrow, I was surprised when I had my surgery in August last year how well I handled it. The surgery itself was not painful at all and I just accepted this what I had to do to save my life, it was some weeks later that I lost control and had a good cry. Although we all have cancer in common in a way it is a very individual journey, there is no right or wrong way to deal with it, so if you want to cry then do so. You have to grieve for you loss. I will be thinking of you tomorrow and wishing you well. Take care. Kathryne XX

Thanks Natalie, my chemo was FEC x3, then Docetaxel X 3! Like you, I found the chemo absolutely horrendous and never want to repeat it. Infact, my last round was on Dec 12th and I have only just lifted myself out of the "fog". I feel I lost 6 months of my life from the side effects. But hang in there, we do this for a purpose! And ask for medication to deal with the side effects if you havent already, I found it helps. Sandy

Thanks Kathryne, I think that is what confuses me the most, I have not had a breakdown yet and feel that maybe I should have by now! My GP has suggested a counsellor but I am not comfortable with the idea and therefore can't see the benefit. I find I get a lot of support from this forum, and although our "journeys" all differ, at least I know that others have been through or are going through similar issues and understand. Sandy

Good luck for tomorrow.Like you,I had a lumpectomy first(2003) and then it came back so had a mastectomy in May 2010.I think I got used to losing my boob bit by bit.When the nurse took the dressing down I was quite ok about it but I was high on pain killers-that helped! Although you are glad to be rid of a diseased boob,it is still a grieving process to work through.I wear a prosthesis in my bra and outwardly,you'd never know.But getting dressed and undressed can sometimes be upsetting at first.The scar is a constant reminder. I don't do naked anymore.I also have trouble finding tops/dresses with higher necklines.These are only little irritations that challenge us and can be overcome.Hopefully the trade off is a cancer free life. Let us know how you are when you get home. Tonya xx

Tomorrow is the masectomy! | BCNA Online Network

17 Replies

Mechell
Member
14 years ago
Hi, i just posted about reco and i saw that you said you 'started' it last year,, would you mind sharing with me your reco story so far?? I am off to get on the waiting list next Friday,, i wont be waiyting long though, am saving up and paying for it,, just trying to talk to others who have had it done,, peace and light, mechell xxxooo
Mechell
Member
14 years ago
Well, its the 1st March and im reading this knowing that it all went well for you,, yes, Ive got the been there done that teeshirt too,,

Mine was Oct 2010, lumpectomy, and strait back in for mastectomy follwed by the chemo,radio now Tamoxifen,, I may sound blase about it, but I was gutted at the time,, and yes TonyaM, isnt it hard trying to find a summer dress that doesnt reveal all, (as all mine stashed away do), Being the lop-sided G cup is not for me and I am just looking into reco' now so might i ask if you can point me in any direction whilst we give Ms Sandy our love and hugs, muchly appreciated,, I hope you are doing well chiccadee and its amazing where and when we find our strength.. and the crazy things this BC does to our mind, body and soul,, but we pull through cos we are strong,,,, hugs (gentle ones) to you now, Mechell xxxooo
Sandy47
Member
14 years ago
Thanks Lynne
Lyn11
Member
14 years ago
Good luck Sandy Tomorrow will be over before you know it and then a whole lot of new emotions start. I found it really helpful to talk about it and I devoured all the information I could get.....mostly from these forums.

we will all be thinking of you tomorrow,

Lynne
annie58
Member
14 years ago
xoxo
Sandy47
Member
14 years ago
Very wise words Annie, puts boobs into perspective. I will remind myself of this tomorrow night!

Sandy
annie58
Member
14 years ago
Hi Sandy, .

My young boss, 38year old male, father of 3 said "You dont need boobs to breathe" and I often think of this. Im sure he will write a book about my journey when Im finished. You get great support from friends and work colleages. You will be OK and the pain isnt too bad. Think of the long term goal.

Love Annie
Sandy47
Member
14 years ago
Thanks Chris, I will just be glad to get it over with! I am just having one removed as the oncologist said there is a low incidence of cancer in the other breast occurring???? I assume he is right?? From what I gather there is more likelihood of a secondary cancer occurring.

Sandy
TonyaM
Member
14 years ago
I had pain for about 3 days but it's quite tolerable with pain killers.I don't think it was as bad as the auxillary clearance I had in 2003.My arm movement/range was ok this time.I went back to work after about 3 weeks. I kept getting a seroma(fluid build up) under the mastectomy scar which had to be syringed off twice a week for 5 weeks.It didn't hurt cos the area is numb -just a nuisance.I got fitted for my prosthesis about 6 weeks post op and that was soooo much better than the soft form you get.I haven't ruled out reconstruction but just not ready for another operation at this stage.I had 3 ankle operations just before my mastectomy.I'm also abit paranoid that cancer might come back along my scarline so like to keep a check. There is no hurry and I'll do my research but it is hard to think that this lopsided chest is with me forever. However,my view may change over time.You can't always predict your reactions with this bc journey.

Tonya xx