Forum Discussion

wndsrfn's avatar
wndsrfn
Member
12 years ago

To do or not to do!!! Decisions. Decisions, Decisions

Well - some heavy shit and a massive decision to make. And support from a wonderful friend. So today found out that had two types of bc in left breast. Stage 1 Grade 1 and Stage 1 Grade 2. Now the biggest thing - to do chemo or not, for a small percentage reduction : between 2-3%. Tamoxifen - will reduce to 7%. If add chemo will go to between 5-4% Is that small increase worth the 3 months of 'fun'. And if don't can I get my head around the fact that I won't be able to have the option later on. Today had in head ready to say -yes go for it. Oncologist was very good. But added more info to reconsider. Currently fors are - I have done everything possible. And left no stone unturned. Against - risks and side effects. If just take tablets can't change mind to do chemo even if tablets are not suitable. Or is it just worth talking tablets and getting back on with life and facing what ever comes next. Have had amazing support and best thing was being able to talk to my friend today and have till Tuesday to decide. Anyway - not asking for guidance or help just using this as a safe place to vent. Sort through stuff and work out what I will do. First thing is to get mind sorted. So not thinking about it or try not to today would be a good thing. Going to a comedy festival with friends to thank them for there support. Has been amazing. Will have to do something on weekend as will do head in otherwise. Might do a test drive. Maybe go visit some awesome friends - go to ocean. Ok time to go and clear mind. Or build more nano Lego.

6 Replies

  • wndsrfn's avatar
    wndsrfn
    Member
    12 years ago
    Decision update. This is so hard - coz it's the unknowns that drive it. Seems like because of age (47) and Grade (2) why been given option. And no there is no right or wrong. Just my head. Being a person who will do everything and anything to help anyone - my science head says do the chemo even if reduces reoccurrence figure low. Just because I want to 'nail the bitch that bites'. My non science head says your on the mend continue this way. But the nagging question that wakes me at 2am is 'what if I don't and it comes back?' It's like the masectomy takes it all away that was in the breast. Chemo takes care of what they can't see. And the tablets prevent the cells growing. This is not only hard on me but the people that love and care about me. But I want to make sure I've done what I can and here for a long time. So with that it looks like chemo it is. But this could change again - although writing it down and making it public will see how I respond to that. Have till 11:30 Tuesday to make mind up so only two more restless sleeps.
  • itsme203's avatar
    itsme203
    Member
    12 years ago

    I was in the same situation. The doctors thought they "got it all" with the mastectomy. My feeling was to do everything in my power possible to make sure that the cancer was all gone, even if that meant 3 months of feeling like crap. As you say, once you start the Tomoxifin there is no going back to chemo. I have completed 3 of 4 chemo cycles and really for me (and everyone is different) the first week is not great (but not terrilbe either) and then I worked the following 2 weeks. I think it comes down to a personal choice and decision. For me I knew if I ddin't do it and the cancer would return I would have said "what if". This way if the cancer returns, I know I have done EVERYTHING in my power to prevent it. 

    Do what is best for you and what you can live with. Send you best wishes.

  • itsme203's avatar
    itsme203
    Member
    12 years ago

    I was in the same situation. The doctors thought they "got it all" with the mastectomy. My feeling was to do everything in my power possible to make sure that the cancer was all gone, even if that meant 3 months of feeling like crap. As you say, once you start the Tomoxifin there is no going back to chemo. I have completed 3 of 4 chemo cycles and really for me (and everyone is different) the first week is not great (but not terrilbe either) and then I worked the following 2 weeks. I think it comes down to a personal choice and decision. For me I knew if I ddin't do it and the cancer would return I would have said "what if". This way if the cancer returns, I know I have done EVERYTHING in my power to prevent it. 

    Do what is best for you and what you can live with. Send you best wishes.

  • mgndam1603's avatar
    mgndam1603
    Member
    12 years ago

    When I was going through my surgeries and treatment I made it very clear to my family that as much as I love them and consider them that the decisions to be made were mine alone.

    Its not easy I know, good luck.

    Donna

  • mgndam1603's avatar
    mgndam1603
    Member
    12 years ago

    When I was going through my surgeries and treatment I made it very clear to my family that as much as I love them and consider them that the decisions to be made were mine alone.

    Its not easy I know, good luck.

    Donna

  • mgndam1603's avatar
    mgndam1603
    Member
    12 years ago

    You seem to be in the right frame of mind and trying to clear all thoughts is a good one. Giving yourself space is a great gift.

    I wish you well on your decision making and remember its yours to make so there is no wrong decision.

    Sending you hugs

    Donna