To chemo or not to chemo

Sounds a very hard decision and everyone here gives such good well rounded advice. I have to have the chemo if I want a 90% chance of no recurrence. But having said that, it's not guaranteed. I've gone on the advice of the surgeon, the chemo onc and her Professor. All say it is what they would do personally. You could try a second opinion? The percentages are just so small.  A hard call. Good luck xx

@Romla same back at you!  Given the general amazingness I've encountered on this network so far, my suspicions have been confirmed, that the world would be in a much better state if more women were in charge! :)  And my daughter just wholeheartedly agreed  :D

Can I stick my head up and say what remarkable women you are - cellyk and iserbrown. In fact all of you on this site - what a privilege it is to have found you and to be able to share a bit of the journey with you.

@iserbrown Thank you for sharing so much.  I can relate to being 'drip fed information' as mine was more of a gradual unveiling than an upfront diagnosis.  First I knew my life had just changed, was - 8:30 am, a missed call from my GP (after a mammogram & FNA - a lump that I had found).  She got straight to the point with "Unfortunately"... I sat down.  Then I was scanned six-ways-from-Sunday over the next week or so.  A process that I found more comforting than scary - because it was all about knowing stuff and finding a way forward.  It was the same with surgery.  My surgeon smiled at me - a lovely, confident smile and I knew I was in good hands.  The room was bright and everyone was cheery - I really felt like they were saving my life. (Side note: the anaesthetic felt great going in... I can see why drugs are so addictive!  Sounds a bit loony, but I you gotta appreciate the 'silver linings'!  
I totally get the idea of acceptance.  Over the last few days it seems to have happened to me.  My approach has been kinda to surrender (not resign) to the vulnerability of it all.  I aim to plan my future just a few years at a time - and If I get more it's a gift.  My oncologist said at one point "you could have 30 or more years" - I actually hadn't dared to think that way.  My face must have looked like one of those surprised kittens on YouTube.  I guess because my prognosis is > 80% she's all like "you'll probably be fine".  Probably.  But I don't like to cling.  So I'm not clinging.  I'll accept.  It's like Russian roulette, but the Invisible Man has the trigger - and we don't know when he's in the mood to play.  Still, most of the chambers are empty.  Most.  And that's now my life.  As time goes by, perhaps more chambers will empty, maybe more will get loaded.  
But I'll celebrate what I have when I can.  I'm only here at all because innumerable ancestors endured things I'll never know; fought countless battles, lost loved ones, built and rebuilt their lives.  They faced far more helplessness and uncertainty than we ever will, to build the world we know.  I'll do them the honour of having courage - and do the whole 'carpe diem' thing.  
Since my diagnosis I've often thought of soldiers, especially in the older wars.  They sat around camps at night, knowing they'd rise to battle the next day, knowing they'd likely die, that it would probably hurt, that their families wouldn't see them again.  But they bloody well got on with it.  They laughed, joked, encouraged each other, ate a decent meal.  And just got on with it.  I'm pretty sure I have their DNA 'cause I can almost feel them, feel the lump in their throats, their shaking hands, and  hear their laughter.  
Don't know where that came from, guess the sun's setting and I'm feeling inspired.  Yes I'm similar in the crying department.  The eyes have been a bit leaky now & then - nothing much.  But if I see a story, especially 'happy tears' - I just lose it.  Yes, dogs especially - what's with that!  Here's to life.

@CellyK   the day I was diagnosed, it was at Breastscreen.  My husband was with me along with a psychologist and a band of people that I hadn't seen before but appeared from nowhere. We had been put with a psychologist the minute we arrived at Breastscreen so I knew it wasn't going to be a good day.  After she explained it was going to be a long day and the process of the day I was then instructed to go and get changed and head into the holding pen with all the ladies only to be greeted by "what are you doing here?", turns out I knew 5 of the ladies there.  The room was overflowing.  Our screening originally was the mobile bus.  Can't say it's something in the water as most of those ladies are town ladies whereas I live on acres with tank water.  Anyhow,

The breast surgeon said, you've got breast cancer he also went on to say you'll be my patient for the next 10 years.  Well I have to say the 10 years part dominated my thoughts in like, who the, what the, how old will I be, why would you say that when we only met 5 minutes ago!!  Now that I am over that and settled, it's a breeze, ha! ha!.  Must say my acceptance came within that first day and I am of the view that acceptance is a huge part of coping and getting on with it.  I assume now that the 10 year is because I am hormone receptor positive.

My treatment was, ultrasound and biopsy to confirm diagnosis, the pressure they apply to stop the bleeding after biopsy was harder than the biopsy itself, followed by sentinel node biopsy, left breast mastectomy, sentinel node and two guards removed and immediate insertion of expander.  A couple of hiccups along the way and eventual changeover surgery to a permanent implant.

The Oncology part of treatment is the part that I wasn't prepared for, options, more than one Oncologist is needed and so it goes.  It was decided that I should have 26 x zoladex injections, one every 4 weeks as well as Tamoxifen for 10 years.  Zoladex injection is a small port that is injected in the abdomen area and slow release over the 4 weeks, the port dissolves.  They like you to keep with the 4 weeks and not extend it out to 5.  Zoladex gave me the runs from the get go and some strange episodes of bone pain, dizziness et cetera, some days I could hardly walk, which I still get, as well as other side effects that I cannot contribute to one or the other.  Amongst it they decided that my thyroid was up the put; now on daily medication for the rest of my life; and that I would also need vaginal ultrasounds on a regular basis as the endometrium is thickening and so it goes................ I've been introduced to specialists that I knew nothing of, terminology that I had no need for and found myself learning to spell words that are not my normal language.  I occasionally have remedial massage as still today I have nerves that haven't settled and a little bit of swelling around the sternum. 

I am getting too long winded now but I guess what I am trying to say, we all get a diagnosis that says Breast Cancer and then we all go into different treatment regimes, all dependent on, who the, what the and we are drip fed information along the way. 

Side effects for all of us are a pain in the behind yet they are not really spoken about prior, as some are unfortunate to get the full deck of cards and others maybe one or two.  Hopefully you're lucky enough to be in the very few category...................


My surgeon called me tough as old boots and I smiled because I know I am and I take after my Mother. I never cried when I was diagnosed and I still haven't, but we are all different!  I did cry the other night when I watched, Vet on the Hill and saw Rosa the dog die from breast cancer.  It is the toughness that allows me to cope.  My last stint in hospital the nurses said it is lovely to come into the calm room. That is my acceptance of where I am at and rolling along with it.  At present I have lost a neighbour at the 9 year mark since diagnosis and a cousin at the 2 year mark.....................can't put my head in that space for long as it only rattles the nerves.  I have no plans of following them.  I had to make a speech on Friday at an industry conference and a fella came up to me later to say his wife was at the 17 year mark.................here's hoping we all head into the 17 year mark and beyond

Take care and sending you a virtual hug xx 

Celly understand the hormonal hayride you have been on as been there too Been told hormonetheray does not work the same way which cheered me a lot.Check / confirm with your onc/ gp. I'm on a different drug I think - been on it just a week and have yet to turn into Mrs Hyde just noticing joint stiffness which so far held at bay with movement .Use the search bar at top of homepage. to see what others have found successful to help with side effects and what the likely side effects might be.There is a lot of wisdom and kindness on this site

Definitely hard decision as 1st diagnosis i had dcis had aggressive treatment radiation lumpectomy and tamoxifen 4yrs and still a recurrence? ? Who knows. 

@iserbrown Hmm, now you've got me curious as to what you ended up doing!  But no pressure to say.  The only drawn out part of mine will be 10 years of hormones.  But my hormones have always been a huge arse-ache since puberty anyway, like major PMS etc.  So I'm ready for hormonal weirdness.  "Hormonal weirdness" sounds like a grunge band name.  Definitely if the benefits were estimated at 5% or above, I'd go for chemo.  sigh.  At least it's a lovely day outside  ;)

Hi @Nadi - yeah, I thought about how I'd view that if I had recurrence. It's tricky to interpret statistics - as there is an awful lot these stats can't take into account.  So I (very roughly) figure that a recurrence would unlikely be due to not having chemo - since it's only accounting for a ~2% risk reduction.  Meh, who knows.  Thanks for your thoughts.  Good luck with the protein blockers, I assume you're on them? I heard they are very effective.

My % was 2-3 and my Onc said if it was around 8% he would've pushed me along however felt it was not necessary!  There is no right or wrong in this, it is what you and your team are comfortable with.  The option agreed upon that I took in the finish was extremely long and drawn out with lots of it's own problems. 
Take care