The Little things
Tonight I went to my son's Prep information evening. I sat there and fought back some tears - such a mix of strong emotions but overwhelmingly a feeling of gratitude that I am here to help prepare him mingled with the fear that I may not be here to guide him through his schooling. He is such a bright, funny, active little boy who is so ready for school. I have been asked will I be sad that my baby is at school? Yes, I will miss our Monday's, our bike rides and milkshakes together at the Nursery, playing lego and just chilling together in our garden. But, no another memory created - Mum is here to take me to school (well it is still a few months off but I anticipate I will be well enough to be there barring what could happen to any of us anytime).
We had a discussion at dinner the other night about the inevitability of death - I wonder how many other families talk about such things? I want to demystify death, dying, illness and take away the fear - it won't take away sadness but we discussed how living a life informed by death allows us to live fully and with appreciation for every good moment and how because of my illness we are lucky because it makes us more aware of this fundamental fact of life.
It's not all death and dying in our house though. It is such a busy time of year. Birthdays, End of school, Xmas - I am trying to trust my body and when it says "rest" I am honouring that and allowing it too - this is one of the most difficult things to be because I tend to feel the need to be busy "keeping myself well" - I realised today that today this mean - "sleep" woman - you have three nights out for school things this week and treatment on Thursday - if the body says sleep, then do it - it will thank you and sleep too is restorative and healing.
I went to the Gawler Conference on Sunday and listened to the wonderful Petrea King - what a wonderful, wise woman - her insights, serenity and words I felt deeply - awakening and authenticity are key elements to peace. Ian is always full of wonderful information and a new view on many issues - lifestyle is the key to wellness - we need to nurture our body, mind and spirit - there is no one formula. I found one speaker's presentation particularly poor though his workshop was more informative. I wish the worlds of complementary therapies and conventional did not have to continue to oppose each other on the medical front - true intergrative oncology would encompass the best of all treatment options rather than bickering about it and it happens on boths sides of the fence. There was a wonderful speaker on Depression, I laughed in a laughter session, meditated to the melodic sounds from the harp (even having a play) and was enthused by Lauren Burns. A day to inspire anyone into living well.
So, I will now head for more sleep. My nearly preppie has arrived saying he can't sleep (he's been asleep for a few hours) and crawled into bed - time for snuggles - it really is the little things that make living well so worthwhile.
Be well
A xx
