The Journey

I totally agree - I went for all those scans the other day, I am living in a tiny country town and we had to travel, so being used to the 'serenity' of a little town and go to a much larger busier place - people, traffic lights, everyone moving SO fast! It is very daunting, then when it came to the scans - those big machines and being told to drink awful stuff (I will never drink ouzo again - put me right off anniseed!) and being shuffled from one department to another, get dressed, get undressed bla bla bal - I felt like I was in a heard of cattle!  To make matters worse, they don't explain much if anything along the way - and I found I was so overwhelmed and it really knocked me around emotionally.  And those big machhines, I haven't ever seen any of them before and did not know the processes - like I said they didn't explain a lot and it was scary.  Looking back in retrospect, it wasn't all bad really - not like it hurt or anything, but the whole thing put together throws you into a spin out.  After my chemo (starts next month) I have to spend five to six weeks away in a busy town that I hate and I fear it will be a LONG five-six weeks (sigh) but all you can do is (cliche!) is take one day at a time, no use fretting - I have decided my husband and I will deserve a really, really good holiday! It is something to look forward to.  Doctors explain a cetain amount of stuff - in 'doctorish' ways - basically they draw a picture, explain a few facts and risks, I come out of there feeling like I have been punched in the head with a giant boxing glove!  You have all these 'secret' little fears you try to push back in your mind but they are there, you know, I know how a frightened child would feel if they were left alone in a big shopping complex - sheer terror.  You can't talk to people about it, lets face it, who needs the sad "Oh poor dear" and well meaning looks - its a double edge sword.  I am so so glad I got on this site because it has lifted my spirits to know there are others out there who can relate, and relate in the best way - again thank you so much ladies, God Bless you! x x x