the hardest thing was lack of support

I have always been the carer for my husband, suffering major depression.  In recent years since he stopped work he was much better, no pressure and leading a relatively normal life.  I would call our marriage very strong, until my Breast Cancer diagnosis sent him into a downward spiral, even more so when the odds were explained to us by the oncologist. (it had to happen on the rare day he came with me or was able to).

I was blessed with 3 chemo sessions being easy and the last 3 knocking me flat.  With both of us laid up no shopping, housework, cooking was being done.  Chemo 5 and 6 our daughter came to care for us both.  when she left she had ordered lite n easy, what a Godsend that is.  

We have friends who often offered help, but it was hard to ask, by asking friends my husband would feel even worse that he wasn't 'doing'.  I felt like I was dobbing on him, battling both the disease, treatment and the fine balancing act of holding onto bitterness whilst trying to support him. The otherwise good marriage was crumbling and about to end.  I just couldn't be everything and felt bitter.  

By chemo 6 the nurses at the hospital saw there was issues and offered him a psychology appointment.  Following this he finally went along to his own psychologist and what a turn around.  

Whatever help he got worked wonders, I finally had an attentive husband that was stepping up to support. He continued to attend appointments, increased his medication and the 5 weeks of radiotherapy were a lot easier.

This Breast Cancer gives us all unimaginable pressures and demons.  We are about to head away for a week in between herceptin infusions every three weeks.  Life looks like it may be normal for a while.