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Julie_P's avatar
Julie_P
Member
14 years ago

The hair goes tomorrow....

Hi ladies

I felt like joining your network after reading some older posts about hairloss which made me laugh and cry at the same time - there are some amazing women out there maintaining their humour through some of life's worst moments.

I'm feeling particularly vulnerable right now. A month ago I had a right breast mastectomy, lymph nodes clear thankfully, but all that fades into insignificance now I'm 2 weeks into first course of chemo (TC) and about to lose my hair!!! Why does hair loss produce such a reaction when losing a breast is surely the more significant? I think I may have always hidden behind my longish hair so now I'm going to be exposed to the world! I also don't want the stares of strangers or people feeling sorry for me. So I've already got a wig, and a couple of bandanas with a cap sewn into them that I found online, as I can't imagine ever being brave enough to go out bald!  I laughed and laughed when I read comments such as 'I scared myself everytime I went past a mirror"! That will be me! I so admire those of you who proudly show your shiny head to the world!

So tomorrow is the day, the lovely local hairdresser is coming round to my house to give me a close crop (hoping to avoid the close shave for the moment) and trim the fringe on my wig.

I willl undoubtedly shed a few tears but really, I just want it over and done with so I can move on!

Julie P

10 Replies

  • Julie_P's avatar
    Julie_P
    Member
    14 years ago

    Hi Everyone

    It was so nice to read all your supportive comments and your stories. The deed is done, my hair has been cut and is now about 1cm long but falling out rapidly. My teenage daughters were with me and were very supportive so that helped. I went to work today and had to wear a wig for the first time, it was uncomfortable but as I had to see some clients I wanted to look as normal as possible. I felt a bit of a fraud but I guess I'll get used to it!  Hate the bandana look on me (don't think its a bikie chick look but more like a washer woman!!) so still searching for a 'look' Im comfortable with. What a journey I'm on, its amazing what life throws at you out of the blue.

    Back for my second chemo on Tuesday, its been so nice this week having some energy and no mouth ulcers!

    Julie

  • Julie_P's avatar
    Julie_P
    Member
    14 years ago

    Hi Everyone

    It was so nice to read all your supportive comments and your stories. The deed is done, my hair has been cut and is now about 1cm long but falling out rapidly. My teenage daughters were with me and were very supportive so that helped. I went to work today and had to wear a wig for the first time, it was uncomfortable but as I had to see some clients I wanted to look as normal as possible. I felt a bit of a fraud but I guess I'll get used to it!  Hate the bandana look on me (don't think its a bikie chick look but more like a washer woman!!) so still searching for a 'look' Im comfortable with. What a journey I'm on, its amazing what life throws at you out of the blue.

    Back for my second chemo on Tuesday, its been so nice this week having some energy and no mouth ulcers!

    Julie

  • LindaD's avatar
    LindaD
    Member
    14 years ago
    Hi Julie, I'm at the stage where my hair is finally growing and I can't tell you how nice it is to see it again. I had really long hair all my life and to face the clippers was very scary I cryed all day leading up to it, then I took my 2 girls (8 & 5) with me so they could help cut it off. I did this so they would remember it as a fun day where they got to cut mums hair off not a day where their mum came home bald and crying. So anyway like the other ladies said its great in hot weather and when you go out you don't have to do it! I didn't wear a wig I just wear hats. Sometimes I forget that I don't have any hair and then I catch sight of myself in a window and go oh that's right I'm bald! Anyway Julie you'll be fine and it will grow back not to long from now. Take care Linda
  • moira1's avatar
    moira1
    Member
    14 years ago

    Like you say, isnt it strange we lose parts of our body, but take our hair, and we are a mess, when i was going through the journey, i thought, it's only hair, that will be the least of my problems..... at the time WRONG!!!! it is very traumatising, but unfortunately it is the better of two evil, as we know it will grow back in, and meanwhile we are getting the treatment we need, to get back to living our life. the plus side is, mine grew in REALLY curlie and black, so for over a year i washed it and went, no hairdriers, straightners etc, i was even ready to go out before my husband was ready. so see there is a positive to everything. just doesn't seem like it at the moment, and so all of us on here know how you are feeling. And yes Tanya, we did look glam with our bald heads.... didn't we????? Good Lcuk Julie, and please keep comming back to let us know how you are doing. Regards MoiraX

  • moira1's avatar
    moira1
    Member
    14 years ago

    Like you say, isnt it strange we lose parts of our body, but take our hair, and we are a mess, when i was going through the journey, i thought, it's only hair, that will be the least of my problems..... at the time WRONG!!!! it is very traumatising, but unfortunately it is the better of two evil, as we know it will grow back in, and meanwhile we are getting the treatment we need, to get back to living our life. the plus side is, mine grew in REALLY curlie and black, so for over a year i washed it and went, no hairdriers, straightners etc, i was even ready to go out before my husband was ready. so see there is a positive to everything. just doesn't seem like it at the moment, and so all of us on here know how you are feeling. And yes Tanya, we did look glam with our bald heads.... didn't we????? Good Lcuk Julie, and please keep comming back to let us know how you are doing. Regards MoiraX

  • Tanya's avatar
    Tanya
    Member
    14 years ago

    hi Julie

    i remember starting that post ages ago and remember the good ole chuckle we all had at ourselves and we all put up bald profile pics.  Thanks for reminding me about it.  hope you are adjusting to your new "do'.  

    Tanya xx

  • TonyaM's avatar
    TonyaM
    Member
    14 years ago

    Your reaction is very normal- I felt exactly as you.Losing a breast takes some adjustment but at least you can hide it with a prosthesis.Your bald head is a different matter.In time you will adjust and figure out what suits you. It's harder in summer because the wig gets so hot and itchy. I stuck to cotton bandanas and light weight caps in the heat.The trick is not to go out looking like a pirate,a gypsy or a bikie chick(unless,ofcourse,you ride a bike)or a chemo/cancer patient for that matter.If you don't want to bare your bald head,even at home,then don't.Do what feels comfortable for you.You've had your breast off and now chemo-that's brave enough! Come to this site for info, friendship and support.We all help each other through tough times here and you are not alone.

                                          Tonya xx

  • TonyaM's avatar
    TonyaM
    Member
    14 years ago

    Your reaction is very normal- I felt exactly as you.Losing a breast takes some adjustment but at least you can hide it with a prosthesis.Your bald head is a different matter.In time you will adjust and figure out what suits you. It's harder in summer because the wig gets so hot and itchy. I stuck to cotton bandanas and light weight caps in the heat.The trick is not to go out looking like a pirate,a gypsy or a bikie chick(unless,ofcourse,you ride a bike)or a chemo/cancer patient for that matter.If you don't want to bare your bald head,even at home,then don't.Do what feels comfortable for you.You've had your breast off and now chemo-that's brave enough! Come to this site for info, friendship and support.We all help each other through tough times here and you are not alone.

                                          Tonya xx

  • Kathy_BCNA's avatar
    Kathy_BCNA
    Member
    14 years ago

    Hi Julie

    Good luck for your hair cut today. You are certainly not alone feeling vulnerable and sad about losing your hair.

    BCNA has produced a fact sheet on hair loss. If you haven't already seen it, you might find it of interest.

    As Maxene said, don't be afraid to jump in on this website and ask questions when you have them. You will find you get lots of support from women who have been there before you or who are going through similar experiences.

    Kathy

  • Maxene_36's avatar
    Maxene_36
    Member
    14 years ago

    Wishing you the best of luck mate - there's no two ways about it, it's a hard day, that's for sure.  I had mine shaved about 2 months ago and shed a tear or two as well, but, believe it or not, you do get used to it. 

    And an added bonus is it takes less time to get ready for work etc - shower, make-up, wig, done!

    Pre-cancer I had long blonde hair, and yeah, I know what you mean about hiding behind it, I loved my hair, it gave me a bit of confidence.  I have absolutely NOT been brave enough to step outside my bedroom without my wig (or a bandanna). 

    Anyway, keep on blogging Julie - this forum is a great source of information, support and inspiration, and you're never alone in your journey. 

    Thinking of you!

    Maxene