@KMAC46 and @rebeccamarie
My heart goes out to both of you. And everyone else who is struggling with any aspect of their treatment.
Everyone copes, or doesn't cope, in their own way. I've been on and off the breast cancer bus since 2006. I've had some time to adapt, but I don't think I will ever adjust to it.
Being the cranky big bitch that I am, I cope by dreaming of throat punching anyone I think is fucking me around. Or gets in my way. Parks their car crooked next to me. Fake smiles me... The list of transgressions deserving my wrath is endless. Charming, hey?
Thing is, we all find our way of bearing the unbearable stress. I think most of us revert to what ever has worked for us before. Cry, or yell. Do the silent thing. Circle the wagons or tell everyone to get lost. Feeling vulnerable and out of control is totally normal and I don't think anyone goes through this without moments of internal panic and despair. Some of us hide it better, but it's there none the less. Mxx