telling people

Thanks Nadine, I needed to hear that. You guys are reminding me to slow down, and you're echoing what I've been telling myself - and it's working. I've been doing normal day-to-day stuff as much as I can, it's a good distraction and I know that I'll treasure the normal stuff as treatment begins and be glad I did it instead of curling up in a ball and closing the door. 

 

Thanks again

Hi Rowdy, thank you of your reply! It's my first go at interacting here and it's really helped me realise how alone I honestly feel - though I'm not. Being the eldest daughter, the manager at work means that so far I'm expected to have all the answers - I'm the leader. You're right, I need to look for ways I can share the responsibility. 

 

I've ordered my 'journey kit', hoping it comes in time before I meet with my surgeon. 

 

Thank you again, so much!

Thank you Inkpetal! The link you shared with me is exactly what my brain needs right now. I can pluck a couple of those spinning plates down and put them away - you know what I mean?

 

I'm off to work, but I'm so glad I took a minute to see if there were any replies first. Thank you so much. 

 

I'll blog more of my 'story so far' tonight. 

Hi Keiley, I am sorry you find yourself in this situation.  Telling people was really hard for me - especially my elderly parents and other family members. I prefaced it by saying that I had something to tell them but they had to promise to be strong and positive. This was really helpful as they reacted ok when first told. I learnt that this was a way I could ask people for help and let them know what I needed i.e. I needed positive attitudes, commiseration, and understanding. Nevertheless I did find there were times especially when I started chemo where I found myself comforting others. This was really tiring but as you move through treatment and after everyone gets over the initial shock and awkwardness it does get easier.

All the best,

Nadine

Hi it is a tough time and others see you in pain and are unsure what to say. I told family friends and they fed it on to their families. With work I asked the manager to tell everyone the day I started chemo. I have a sister who continually told me how strong I was and in the end I told her she had to stop as I wasn't strong just getting through each day the best way I could. It will take time to get used to having bc, once you have a plan set up it will get easier. A diary for all your appointments and questions to ask your doc. Take a deep breath and take it one day at a time.

I'm 2 years clear and believe there are days when I still think did that really happen to me. Lots of support here ask away someone will have a answer.

Oh - I want to add this. It's the "How to help a friend or colleague with breast cancer" BCNA leaflet. It really helped out the crying friend I mentioned, haha! A couple of prints of it come in the My Journey Kit too, so you can hand them to people you've breaking the news to in person.

It helps answer when they ask "What can I do?" but you have no idea what to say. I sure didn't.

I remember this feeling. It was only a few weeks ago for me. In the beginning it wasn't the news that I had cancer, it was telling other people the news that was the most stressful.

It was always followed by an onslaught of questions I didn't know the answers to, by emotions I didn't expect or have the practice to handle, and at one point a friend walked though my front door and fell apart. She broke into tears and cried on me and I had to comfort her because I have cancer. I couldn't help but laugh at the absurdity of it. 

Just all that question answering really built up a stress wall for me. I've found that keeping a blog updated, just with enough information to satisfy the crowd has really helped. It's so much better being able to reply with a URL instead of repeating myself to 6+ people.

The Am I going to wake up, is this a nightmare stage fell away for me before two weeks hit. I notice you hit this place up on the 13th - diagnosis day? It'll be surreal for a while, it helps to stay organized in the madness and focus on single things. One appointment, one blood test, it makes it a lot easier than 12 appointments this month and losing your dang mind. Sorry if you're already all over that and it's come off as condescending - I'd rather mention it and help now than risk your getting lost and overwhelmed, which is so horribly easy to do. After I was diagnosed I found it really comforting to have everything in front of me on screen - still do - so if you'd like it, I keep myself organised with this.

Did you order your BCNA My Journey Kit yet? It's a free resource and is really good with helping you out in these first few weeks - I'm still finding it great to consult on new things that pop up.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts.