Forum Discussion

joleeh5's avatar
joleeh5
Member
14 years ago

Teary

Afternoon everyone,

I started the day quite cheery thinking that I am coming up to my one year anniversary and that I was going to celebrate. I am a survivor.

But as I am typing now am feeling very teary and scared I cant stop the black thoughts. I just rang my surgeon to find out when I should be having my first check up. Lucky I did that because apparently its due. So here i was last year paying the final balance for a cruise and then bang diagnosed with BC and had to postpone to 2011. It feels like dejavu, my final deposit is due and Im booking in for mammogram and ultrasound and surgeon appointments and its scaring the life out of me.

I know im not alone in these feeling so just thought id vent where people truly know how I feel because everyone here just says it will be fine.

 

xoxoxoxo

 

3 Replies

  • joleeh5's avatar
    joleeh5
    Member
    14 years ago

    awwwwwww thanks Dot. I watched a documentary on Foxtel called "about her" feauturing the stories of 9 women with breast cancer and cried my eyes out. I know the feeling when I was first diagnosed I thought the same please let me have at least until my girls are grown up and out of school and independant. Hopefully we will live to see our Grandchildren and be there for our revenge on our kids hahaha.

    I really wanted to take a leaf out of your book and celebrate but when I started to think about going through the mammogram and ultrasound again it brought up all the annxiety,fear and sheer terror of it coming back. Today is one year since I was diagnosed and so far so good am feeling positive and happy. I might just have a little get together.

    cheers jo xoxox

  • jo1234's avatar
    jo1234
    Member
    14 years ago

    I am not there yet but i would think that lying on the table having one of the same tests that was used when the diagnoses was made12 months prior  would bring back all sorts of anxiety and definitely would be an emotion time with those  memories.

  • jo1234's avatar
    jo1234
    Member
    14 years ago

    Good luck with the first years  results, you will be fine. I dont think the worry will ever go away though.  I understand exactly what you are saying, and unless others have been through BC themselves  then they  just dont seem to understand the fear that remain with us and probably for a long time. 

    Lucky you, hope you enjoy your well deserved cruise when you finally get going.  Have heaps of fun and let all those stresses just blow away.

    cheers Jo xx