Tamoxifen: to take or not to take?

Hi Deb (and Louise). Deb -  very interested to read your post. I'm 64,  my cancer and cancer stats are similar to yours, and I was operated on in July 2013. The onc says my cancer was 'low risk', and was most probably cured by the mastectomy. However, it was 'low risk' provided I got off the HRT, which I did. Struggled  with the return of hot flushes, insomnia, mood swings, night sweats, loss of libido etc, and took Lexapro (antidepressant) for a few weeks. It helped with the flushes, but did my brain in, and I couldn't work well at all (I'm a freelance writer) so I stopped it. But I now go to a medical herbalist who did post grad studies in women/herbs/menopause. She's been an enormous help. Things are stablised, but when I tried knocking a couple of the preparations off my daily intake, the hot flushes and mood swings came straight back. I've added them back in, and things are under control again. (This is very costly, but it's my choice.) I've also asked her to help with some preparations which I've read about as being useful to prevent cancer recurrence, as I've spent a lot of time researching that. All of which is leading me to say that I've decided against Tamoxifen or other endrocrine treatment at this stage. I had the menopause from hell including very bad depression, and have been told by the gyno, the medical herbalist and my GP that the menopause symptoms would be even worse with endocrine treatment. Given that I'm 'low risk', and am taking 'preventative' preparations, I've decided to stay on this path. It may end up being 'quality of life' rather than 'quantity of life', and if I was 20 years younger with a young family I might make a very different decision. I know that Tamoxifen doesn't guarantee that the cancer won't return, and I've also wondered how I'd feel if I took it for 5 years and suffered the side effects, only to have the cancer come back. So I'm getting on with healing, my life, my work, my new partner who is incredibly supportive of whatever decisions I make, travel plans, my home, my two loving cats, my garden and my daily lineup of about 10 different herbal preparations. And yes, every day I meditate on being cancer-free for the rest of my life. It's been really interesting reading all of the posts by our lovely Pink Sisters -  and I really want to thank you for all your opinions, and to thank Louise for launching the group and posing the question. Getting through the operation/s is just the first step on this bloody awful 'trip of a lifetime', isn't it. After that come a lot of tough decisions that ultimately each of us has to make for ourselves. Love to you all, Pam