SweeperI'm new to the site because to be honest I think knowledge can be empowering.....but for my personality type it can also make me anxious. I thought I was doing ok but it's dawned on me that in 1 week today I will start my first round of chemo and I'm petrified to the point where I feel nauseous, got the trots and shaking like a leaf3:25PM Flag · Like Awesome LOL

Ohhhh @Sweeper so perfectly normal all of it! I was beyond petrified before my first infusion, no idea what to expect at all. But let me tell you, the Staff are so amazing, thoughtful and compassionate, you are not alone, they will talk to you every step. I found once I was there and felt supported by staff I was more than ok. Once you start you know what to expect. Half the time its like the unknown that causes more fear than anything. So just go slowly and be kind. Hugs Melinda xo

For many people the thought is worse than the actuality - it's scary because no-one can give you much idea of how you will react. As far as I can tell, it's got little to do with attitude, some very apprehensive people do better, some very strong and confident people find it very tough. You will know so much better in a couple of weeks. Hard as it is try not to get anxious, it doesn't help and will make it harder to plan. If you can, take someone with you for your first chemo - to talk to, to share experiences with, get you coffee, whatever. Also to take you home. So you don't have to really think about it. Staff are there to help and reassure. You can do it!

To Sweeper you will be well looked after. At every chemo session the nurses were there watching for any adverse reactions. Everything that may happen to you is fixable. There are drugs to counteract problems. It is scary but the nurses do it routinely. The nurses I had were calm encouraging and alert to anything i was feeling. You are never left alone and encouraged to ring them with any concern. They are monitoring you constantly. I remember after my first chemo feeling extremely puzzled . I had no nausea ,discomfort not anything. I felt fine. I stayed overnight in hospital on my oncologists request and woke feeling great eating my breakfast in bed.

The week before I started my TC chemotherapy I had my first intense migraine. I wasn't functioning properly all over just because of the anxiety.I had an arsenal of calming techniques that I assumed would work for me because I've dealt with anxiety before - but this was a whole new kind of stress. Eventually I figured out that the only way I was going to be able to help myself this time was to go and ask for it, but that was after my first session. Knowing that your body is reacting to anxiety is great in itself because you know what to start on trying to manage :heart:My doctor suggested a medication and referred me to a psychologist, just for if I felt like I needed more help. I was reluctant but I found it really useful, especially as treatment progressed.I just want to let you know that it's normal to be scared.When I first went I felt guilty for being afraid because it seemed like everyone was so brave.But bravery is being scared and doing it anyway.I had a panic attack during my first chemo and they had to move me to a bed, so in my experience it wasn't worth putting on a brave face when I could have just walked in to my oncologist's sooner and made some noise about it. I'd convinced myself that I would be fine, it was just fear and I would power through, but instead I almost fainted :lol:It might help you to do some things to to help you feel more in control before that first appointment, like getting the after-hours phone number of a professional who will answer (breast care nurse/oncologist/registrar/your hospital's emergency help line) so if you fear over something you are experiencing you know that you have the lifeline there even if you never call it.I hope you revisit us soon @Sweeper, I'd love to hear how you're going.

I think we all have a mental 'line in the sand' that we can't imagine stepping over. Cancer is a shit of a thing because it forces you to jump of cliffs and venture into territory you never thought would have to enter.In the end we all have a choice, and we tend to choose to have a red hot go at saving our lives. So that's what we do--vomiting and shaking and crying in the car. You are not alone, good luck. Marg.

Sweeper - Chemotherapy | BCNA Online Network

15 Replies

primek
Member
9 years ago
Even though my neutrophils were wiped out I never got sick. I went to public pools, supermarkets and coffee shops and visited family who were sick (didn't kiss them though). I found chemo hard going but never even got a cold despite it going through my household twice.
Glemmis
Member
9 years ago
I was so scared I told my oncologist on the morning before my first chemo I wasn't going through with it with everything bad I had read. She allayed my fears & i didn't get anything having 16 rounds of chemo & worked & exercised all way through & the ladies I had chemo with were all well too. I had my off days but there weren't many. Try not to worry, nothing may happen, good luck!
Afraser
Member
9 years ago
Me too, the only person who infected me was me! I got a couple of very mild infections from the seroma (internal fluid buildup) I had post op. Scrupulous care taken as my temperature went up (as mentioned above, no-one takes that lightly) but I was fine and had no interruptions to chemo.
Cate64
Member
9 years ago
@Sweeper dont let the neutrophil thing that @Brenda5 mentioned stress you, everyone is different, I suffered nothing except the hairloss. We are all different & we respond differently, I picked up not a single bug during chemo, I was very boring...
Brenda5
Member
9 years ago
For your very first chemo dose you definitely will not get a nurse in training or anything like that. They are very careful and attentive and most patients say they don't know what they were so worried about and it wasn't too bad. Keep in touch though with any side effects you may be worried about and don't hesitate to ring your doctors if you think somethings not quite right and you need help.
Get a thermometer! It will become your best friend. If the temp goes up to 38C, in you go to emergency, no argument. While you are at it, ask your chemo doctor for a pass card. They have your details on them and say no waiting, urgent so you are never left in the waiting room for long at all. You probably won't need to use it but its very handy if you do.
At around day 10 after the first chemo, they will probably want you to have a blood test to check for neutrophils. I wore a mask that day and I sucked on an antibacterial Strepsil in the waiting room amongst the other sick patients and I am so glad I did. My blood test said I had not .8 or .4 but absolutely zero resistance to infections! Thereafter I had a special injection I would have the day after my next chemo dose to build up my neutrophil count. No sweat, it was only a little short one, not too scary at all.
iserbrown
Member
9 years ago
Sweeper
Member
9 years ago
I can't thank you all enough for your reassurance, suggestions and understanding. You've al definitely helped tone down the nerves and helped me feel safer and more relaxed to simply role with and try not to worry or overthink about things that I can't control....bring it on!!!!
Molly001
Member
9 years ago
I suffer with anxiety too. I had my first round last Thursday and was also terrified. The nurses were amazing. So professional and confident. I had a reaction to one of my drugs and they dealt with it so efficiently I was not even freaked by it at all. Some of the side effects have been tough for me. Intense nausea was by far my worst, but I'm a little better each day and they have promised me a different plan for next round. If it helps, I'm heading towards my next round without the intense anxiety of the first. The worry was far worse than the reality. All the best.
Afraser
Member
9 years ago
Should have added that I had no nausea or fatigue, mostly felt fine. Lost my taste buds on my second cocktail, list a few kilos that way which was excellent!
primek
Member
9 years ago
It was scary, I remember crying my eyes out in the shower the morning of chemo. But the staff were amazing and it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. Chemo problems pop up a bit later more so than at the time of infusion. I had someone stay with me to talk to during chemo and be there in the house that 1st day. You are scared and don't know how you will react so it's nice to know help is close. What you are feeling is normal. Maybe see your GP if things don't improve as you might need help with sleep issues for a day or so. Fatigue and lack of sleep can make everything even harder to cope with. Take care @Sweeper. Kath x