Sweeper - Chemotherapy

I think we all have a mental 'line in the sand' that we can't imagine stepping over. Cancer is a shit of a thing because it forces you to jump of cliffs and venture into territory you never thought would have to enter.
In the end we all have a choice, and we tend to choose to have a red hot go at saving our lives. So that's what we do--vomiting and shaking and crying in the car. You are not alone, good luck. Marg.

The week before I started my TC chemotherapy I had my first intense migraine. I wasn't functioning properly all over just because of the anxiety.

I had an arsenal of calming techniques that I assumed would work for me because I've dealt with anxiety before - but this was a whole new kind of stress.

Eventually I figured out that the only way I was going to be able to help myself this time was to go and ask for it, but that was after my first session.

Knowing that your body is reacting to anxiety is great in itself because you know what to start on trying to manage :heart:

My doctor suggested a medication and referred me to a psychologist, just for if I felt like I needed more help. I was reluctant but I found it really useful, especially as treatment progressed.

I just want to let you know that it's normal to be scared.
When I first went I felt guilty for being afraid because it seemed like everyone was so brave.
But bravery is being scared and doing it anyway.

I had a panic attack during my first chemo and they had to move me to a bed, so in my experience it wasn't worth putting on a brave face when I could have just walked in to my oncologist's sooner and made some noise about it. I'd convinced myself that I would be fine, it was just fear and I would power through, but instead I almost fainted :lol:

It might help you to do some things to to help you feel more in control before that first appointment, like getting the after-hours phone number of a professional who will answer (breast care nurse/oncologist/registrar/your hospital's emergency help line) so if you fear over something you are experiencing you know that you have the lifeline there even if you never call it.

I hope you revisit us soon @Sweeper, I'd love to hear how you're going.

To Sweeper you will be well looked after. At every chemo session  the nurses were there watching for any adverse reactions. Everything that may happen to you is fixable. There are drugs to counteract problems. It is scary but the nurses do it routinely. The nurses I had were calm encouraging and alert to anything  i was feeling. You are never left alone and encouraged to ring them with any concern. They are monitoring you constantly. I remember after my first chemo feeling extremely puzzled . I had no nausea ,discomfort not anything. I felt fine. I stayed overnight in hospital on my oncologists request and woke feeling great eating my breakfast in bed.

For many people the thought is worse than the actuality - it's scary because no-one can give you much idea of how you will react. As far as I can tell, it's got little to do with attitude, some very apprehensive people do better, some very strong and confident people find it very tough. You will know so much better in a couple of weeks. Hard as it is try not to get anxious, it doesn't help and will make it harder to plan. If you can, take someone with you for your first chemo - to talk to, to share experiences with, get you coffee, whatever. Also to take you home. So you don't have to really think about it. Staff are there to help and reassure. You can do it!

Ohhhh @Sweeper so perfectly normal all of it! I was beyond petrified before my first infusion, no idea what to expect at all. But let me tell you, the Staff are so amazing, thoughtful and compassionate, you are not alone, they will talk to you every step. I found once I was there and felt supported by staff I was more than ok. Once you start you know what to expect. Half the time its like the unknown that causes more fear than anything. So just go slowly and be kind. Hugs Melinda xo