Forum Discussion
Struggling with my mood
Saw my oncologist yesterday for the pre-chemo check-up. She started discussing Tamoxifen & Anastrozole with me. I've read up on them before and, while I know some people have no troubles with them, others have a lot. So until I start taking them, I will have dread. Seven years the onc reckons. It's challenging to contemplate seven years of suffering.
It's my last chemo on Tuesday. People keep expecting me to be happy but I don't feel happy at all. I am as flat as a tack, sad, and cannot contemplate the future with any pleasure. It all seems so futile.
And in between those two phases of treatment is a bi-lateral mastectomy and reconstruction. Daunting.
Being slammed into hard menopause sucks.
I don't sleep well. Will I ever again?
I'm doing everything I can to maximise my chances of life. I presume one day I'll feel better about it, but for now I feel like I'm just going through the motions. I can't get my shoulders down from up round my ears I'm that tense. I'm trying to stay in the moment, but failing, and positivity is completely beyond me. I'm just so tired.
I don't want to see anybody, there's hardly anything I want to do. I've got friends coming over today but right now I just wish they weren't. Is it OK to duck out mid-afternoon for a rest?
Cried myself to sleep last night. I'm aware that most of us have bouts of self-pity, but this feels different. An absence of good spirits. One day at a time is not working for me at the moment.
Sorry for the whinge. Just needed to get it out. Where better than here and all you lovely women.
It's my last chemo on Tuesday. People keep expecting me to be happy but I don't feel happy at all. I am as flat as a tack, sad, and cannot contemplate the future with any pleasure. It all seems so futile.
And in between those two phases of treatment is a bi-lateral mastectomy and reconstruction. Daunting.
Being slammed into hard menopause sucks.
I don't sleep well. Will I ever again?
I'm doing everything I can to maximise my chances of life. I presume one day I'll feel better about it, but for now I feel like I'm just going through the motions. I can't get my shoulders down from up round my ears I'm that tense. I'm trying to stay in the moment, but failing, and positivity is completely beyond me. I'm just so tired.
I don't want to see anybody, there's hardly anything I want to do. I've got friends coming over today but right now I just wish they weren't. Is it OK to duck out mid-afternoon for a rest?
Cried myself to sleep last night. I'm aware that most of us have bouts of self-pity, but this feels different. An absence of good spirits. One day at a time is not working for me at the moment.
Sorry for the whinge. Just needed to get it out. Where better than here and all you lovely women.
53 Replies
- Thank you @Romla. I got a good list from their website search engine when I punched in my postcode.
- Oops I seem to have posted every type of cancer support group including breast cancer sorry.Hope at least it’s another website to look at and you can search on the site nominating your location and type of cancer
- Thank you @Romla. I got a good list from their website search engine when I punched in my postcode.
- @kmakm Cancer Council Victoria lists 33 Breast Cancer Support Groups
https://www.cancervic.org.au/support-groups/list.asp
Hoping this may help XO - I love that @SoldierCrab. I can't do that myself, my difficult stress bringers are too close, but I might try some thinking along those lines in the run-up to my op. Got grief round this next step, I'll try anything.
- That's one way of doing that - wish I'd thought of it!
- Ladies on the day of surgery I asked for my breasts to be named "A" & "B" as I was evicting them for the toxicity they held..... (A & B ) where actual names of some family members who had been breaking boundaries in my life.... they happily wrote the names of them one on each breast and I evicted them 25/10/12 it was very therapeutic for me.
- Internally, yes - it has made me realise how important it is. However, I had a number of grumpy family members yesterday so felt a bit humphy with them. I was just saying on another post that I'm making normal a verb and am going to make normalling a bigger part of my well-being strategy.
- @Sister A bit. It definitely made me feel calmer & less trapped. Have you carried your beach vibe forward?
- @Joannie Do it!
