Forum Discussion
Struggling with my mood
Saw my oncologist yesterday for the pre-chemo check-up. She started discussing Tamoxifen & Anastrozole with me. I've read up on them before and, while I know some people have no troubles with them, others have a lot. So until I start taking them, I will have dread. Seven years the onc reckons. It's challenging to contemplate seven years of suffering.
It's my last chemo on Tuesday. People keep expecting me to be happy but I don't feel happy at all. I am as flat as a tack, sad, and cannot contemplate the future with any pleasure. It all seems so futile.
And in between those two phases of treatment is a bi-lateral mastectomy and reconstruction. Daunting.
Being slammed into hard menopause sucks.
I don't sleep well. Will I ever again?
I'm doing everything I can to maximise my chances of life. I presume one day I'll feel better about it, but for now I feel like I'm just going through the motions. I can't get my shoulders down from up round my ears I'm that tense. I'm trying to stay in the moment, but failing, and positivity is completely beyond me. I'm just so tired.
I don't want to see anybody, there's hardly anything I want to do. I've got friends coming over today but right now I just wish they weren't. Is it OK to duck out mid-afternoon for a rest?
Cried myself to sleep last night. I'm aware that most of us have bouts of self-pity, but this feels different. An absence of good spirits. One day at a time is not working for me at the moment.
Sorry for the whinge. Just needed to get it out. Where better than here and all you lovely women.
It's my last chemo on Tuesday. People keep expecting me to be happy but I don't feel happy at all. I am as flat as a tack, sad, and cannot contemplate the future with any pleasure. It all seems so futile.
And in between those two phases of treatment is a bi-lateral mastectomy and reconstruction. Daunting.
Being slammed into hard menopause sucks.
I don't sleep well. Will I ever again?
I'm doing everything I can to maximise my chances of life. I presume one day I'll feel better about it, but for now I feel like I'm just going through the motions. I can't get my shoulders down from up round my ears I'm that tense. I'm trying to stay in the moment, but failing, and positivity is completely beyond me. I'm just so tired.
I don't want to see anybody, there's hardly anything I want to do. I've got friends coming over today but right now I just wish they weren't. Is it OK to duck out mid-afternoon for a rest?
Cried myself to sleep last night. I'm aware that most of us have bouts of self-pity, but this feels different. An absence of good spirits. One day at a time is not working for me at the moment.
Sorry for the whinge. Just needed to get it out. Where better than here and all you lovely women.
53 Replies
- @kmakm Gorgeous! I hope that has lifted your spirits a bit.
- @sister A friend came and took me up into the hills today. We had lunch in a lovely cafe and then went for a long walk in the National Rhododendrum Gardens. Breathed deeply and did a spot of forest bathing. Exhausted, but good for mind and body.
- Yes please @Joannie. I checked that link. It doesn't list any group that would apply to me anywhere close to where I live. The closest one was for young women. A group to which I sadly no longer belong...
- Cheers! Thank you @sister! No fish & chips yesterday but maybe today.
- Did you get some fish and chips @kmakm? I raised a butterfish to you!
- Der, Google... Will do @Romla, thank you.
- @kmakm put breast cancer support groups Melbourne in google and see what comes up in your area - it may also provide other directions to explore it did for me eg Encore.Flinders Uni here has an online course that may be of interest it’s called Finding My Way. Cancer Council and BCNA may also be able to help with groups. Try searching online for details or failing that ring on Monday.
- @romla You did indeed make me smile, thank you. That class sounds wonderful. I will cast about my local centres to see what I can find. My oncologist said it would be a year before I fully recovered from chemotherapy, which was difficult to hear.
@joannie I'm not really a support group type of person either but from the beginning of this experience I've endeavoured to be open, so I think I should give one a try. How do you find one?
