Oh NJM you are having a hard time, and you are not alone that you wonder how you will manage. All of us have felt that way at some stage but we are stronger than we think. Some times having a good cry helps clear the head so we can shake it of and focus on what we need to do.
you don't have to be a hero or do it on your own - ask for help, tell your doctors about pain and side effects as there are so many options to help manage all the things that come with treatment.
come back here often to vent or just write down how you are going ant there will always be someone who knows exactly how you fell cause they have felt like that too. It can be so reassuring knowing that you are not abnormal and that others truly understand how you feel.
Hope your treatment goes well and chemo beats the hell out of those pesky lymph nodes.
sending big (gentle) hugs xx
chris