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SueRi's avatar
SueRi
Member
15 years ago

still going

Well I am now into my 3rd year of this journey and not much has changed I am still scared about the future the body is still tired and aching. The only thing is now I know the treatment and I have accepted the disruption to my life.

They say I have no visible signs of the cancer in my lungs but I still have the tumour in my breast, they wont remove it as they say if they try to it could cause bits to break off and spread throughout so they want to leave it alone. That was disappointing to be told as I was hoping that now they could get rid of it all now it was showing in one place only.

It is hard listening to others saying "only a couple more treatments and I am done" or "my last treatment today yay" as I have to continue every 3 weeks no matter what.

My sister in law was just diagnosed at the end of last year, she has now had a lumpectomy and 3 lymphnodes removed and has been told at this stage it is just radiotherapy but she is still waiting for the results of the lumpectomy so things could still change for her, I hope not I hope she is one of the lucky ones.

I am feeling a bit down today and eveything is taking longer to do as energy levels are down. I am trying to tell myself things could be so much worse, I could be in the middle of the devastation in Qld and I could have been told there is no treatment at all etc etc all these thoughts go through the brain but it isn't helping me its just depressing me more.

Time to go and do something as this will just get worse if I dont take my mind off things.

I hope everyone is doing well.

7 Replies

  • JJoy's avatar
    JJoy
    Member
    15 years ago

    Hi Sue - they say 'every one is different' and yes it is so true - and some days it gets the better of you - I was having my radiotherapy this morning and as I lay on the table I kept thinking - how the hell did this happen and what am I doing here? - and its been nine months since diagnosis - and still a year of treatment to go....either way we all know what it's like to be depressed about it all - kind of gets you in the backside when you aren't looking, any way wishing you all the best and cheer up - we all care about you.  Hugs Josie x

  • di-p52's avatar
    di-p52
    Member
    15 years ago

    Hi Sue,

    thanks for the encouraging words about my new treatment!  I am sure it is working or the onco wouldnt have prescribed it - it is just me being silly!

    Rest assured, I am no worse off than you!  The fact that we all have cancer means we are all struggling with our own demons, and we will all react in different ways!  I consider myself a strong person, but trust me, I too have my down days.  I dont think anyone going through what we are can be strong 100% of the time.

    cancer is cancer!!!  How we react to it and the treatments involved is different for everyone - BUT......... the word is still the same for everyone.

    I truly hope you keep well (as well as can be).  Take care

    Di

  • SueRi's avatar
    SueRi
    Member
    15 years ago

    Thanks Di for your comments.

    I know there are others so much worse off than myself but as you know when your down you only think of yourself and what your going through and you feel lonel. I think in reality you are worse off than myself as in your chemo and have had a full masectomy where as I am on Herceptin and have had no surgery other than a lung biopsy to find out if the cancer nodes in my lung was breast cancer or not which they were... I had to wait for that to be decided before they would start treatment or do anything.

    Di, I never thought of taking the tablets instead of having the IV in the way you have said and after reading how you feel like your doing 'nothing' taking the tablets I can understand why you feel that way. I too travel 2 hours for treatment and to see my oncologist but fortunately only every 6 weeks in between I have my Herceptin treatment at my local hospital which is only 20min away. You are right when you are having the IV you can see it going in so you know it is actively doing something where as popping pills would feel totally different.

    We do have one advantage which I do keep reminding myself -  there are other treatments they can turn to when this one stops working and they are still doing a lot of  researching to come up with other treatments etc all the time so by the time one stops there will always be others to take its place. This knowledge does help keep me positve when I stop feeling sorry for myself!!!

    I am sure your new drug is working wonders for you and thank you for reading my little rant writing it did help me a little to put things back into perception.

    Take care

    Sue

  • di-p52's avatar
    di-p52
    Member
    15 years ago

    Thanks Tanya, your comments are much appreciated.

    I am on a monthly IV bone strengthener, called Zometa, this could possibly what your friend is having.  I have only been on Xeloda for 5 days, no 'real' symptoms yet to speak off, except I am feeling extremely tired and bit sore in the belly - is this due to treatment - not sure.

    I had a very good response to my initial IV chemo, so hopefully this drug will work as well.

    Take care and thanks again!

    Di

  • Tanya's avatar
    Tanya
    Member
    15 years ago

    HI Sue and Di

    Sorry you both have to deal with this.  Di you summed it up so well when you said the flood waters would subside and life goes back to normal, but you girls are facing an uncertain journey.

    Di, I recently attended a conference with a friend of mine who has advanced cancer in her bones.  She is on Xeloda and  is working well for her, she has this with another one (I will send her a post and find out what it is, I am thinking Zometra) but we heard really good results from a oncologist speaker on Xeloda, so that was really promising for her.

    She has very little side effects from Xeloda which is good.  Hopefully you are finding the side effects tolerable.]

    Good luck to you both, I hope you are able to find some answers on this site, there is also a section for ABC too, and you may find someone there that can give you their personal story.

    Love to you both.

    Tanya

  • Tanya's avatar
    Tanya
    Member
    15 years ago

    HI Sue and Di

    Sorry you both have to deal with this.  Di you summed it up so well when you said the flood waters would subside and life goes back to normal, but you girls are facing an uncertain journey.

    Di, I recently attended a conference with a friend of mine who has advanced cancer in her bones.  She is on Xeloda and  is working well for her, she has this with another one (I will send her a post and find out what it is, I am thinking Zometra) but we heard really good results from a oncologist speaker on Xeloda, so that was really promising for her.

    She has very little side effects from Xeloda which is good.  Hopefully you are finding the side effects tolerable.]

    Good luck to you both, I hope you are able to find some answers on this site, there is also a section for ABC too, and you may find someone there that can give you their personal story.

    Love to you both.

    Tanya

  • di-p52's avatar
    di-p52
    Member
    15 years ago

    Hi SueRi

    Sorry to hear your journey is not going as well as you would have hoped.

    My initial diagnosis was advanced breast cancer, with widespread boney mets (what a complete shock that was!)  I had full mastectomy (removal of all lymph nodes, as 11 out of 14 were cancerous) 2 years ago this week, and yes, it does feel like a 'never ending story!'  I originally had 6 months IV chemo, then 25 radiation treatments.  In Sept '10, I had another 5 radiation treatments to my C3/C4 vertebrae due to cancer 'eating a hole' in bones.  The list of treatments just seems to keep growing!

    I have just started another treatment of chemo, this time orally Xeloda, as 'things' appear to be on the move again.  I feel really strange taking chemo this way, as I feel like I am doing nothing.  With IV treatment you actually see the drug going in, which gave me a sense of 'great - something is now happening which will kill of this cancer!'

    With this new drug, I cant 'see' anything which is making me wonder, will it work!  I truyly hope so.  This is less of a hassle, in that I dont have to go to the Day Surgery unit each week (which is 2 hour return trip, plus the time taken to administer the IV) - its just popping 4 pills each day - 2 weeks on and 1 week off.

    Dont be hard on yourself - yes! you could be stuck in a flood somewhere, but that would pass with time, you are facing a long uncertain journey, and you are entitled to feel a little down.

    Take care of yourself and I hope you 'pick up' a little.

    Di