Sooky la la time!

Question

Warning one and all - I need to get it out there! Not&nbsp;a mid-life crisis - a mid-chemo crisis for me maybe! &nbsp;Could be for lots of reasons, none of them or all but I'm certainly sooky with lots of tears and I DON'T LIKE IT!
The dex and anxiousness prior to&nbsp;my first taxotere today(maybe) have ceratinly kicked in and sleep isn't happening. Yes should have taken something but bit late now me thinks as have to leave home at 8am. My neutophils have dropped to borderline since ok on Friday and so have to have another blood test early morning.&nbsp;I've been incredibly tired this last week which is unusual for me on week 3 of the cycle but maybe the reason for the fever and chills yet now infection found last Friday. No doubt playing part in the sookiness!&nbsp;
My husband has also crashed and is not coping (my opinion anyway) and I'm not coping with the lack of support. He's stresses about work, injured himself last week and left it so long that now has a massive infection threatening his finger. I've no doubt he's in serious pain (especially being a male!) but he's not nice to be around at the moment. Of course ask him and he's doing fine and being the stubborn "i don't need help" man that he is will not seek and I wonder accept support. Last night the way he spoke to our kids (adults) who have come home to visit and help out, I wouldn't be surprised if they left again today! Oh no then he'd have to take me through to oncolgist and chemo - they'll be staying.
Okay that's out so now for action ideas. Think I need to build the strength to tell hubbie that I believe I need to look elsewhere for the support I need/want and&nbsp;he can't give at the moment. Tell the kids I'd understand but love it if they can survive him at least for short bursts. Make an appointment with my wonderful GP (who also undestands hubbie well) and maybe seek out the social worker which I haven't done yet.
Whinge over for now.
I hope all you ladies are fairing well and if you've read this far you are either as ditzy as me or have a super inner strength - the latter I'm sure. Take care xxx

al · Answer

Hi Dette,
Hang in there! I too have days like these. I just begin to feel normal - week 3 of my chemo cycle and I have cycle 3 tomorrow.!I am &nbsp;sick of feeling like&nbsp; crap most of the time and tired!! Husband has been very good but keeps reminding me how behind he is with work and off loads so much on me. He is barely coping as well. He has a cough he can't shake but says he is fine. I've got my sister-in-law coming from Sydney tonight to help out. Husband has gone to site ( he is fly in/fly out) until Mon when she leaves. He's been great but a little too overprotective. As I mentioned I have had the rest of this week off works but am beginning to feel bored.&nbsp; I need to have the stimulation but I know I need to slow down to let my body rest. Not good at this. I've always been pretty active.
I hope things inprove for you and good luck with your next round. It isn't easy but you will get through.
Thinking of you,
Al xxx

al · Answer

Hi Dette,
Hang in there! I too have days like these. I just begin to feel normal - week 3 of my chemo cycle and I have cycle 3 tomorrow.!I am &nbsp;sick of feeling like&nbsp; crap most of the time and tired!! Husband has been very good but keeps reminding me how behind he is with work and off loads so much on me. He is barely coping as well. He has a cough he can't shake but says he is fine. I've got my sister-in-law coming from Sydney tonight to help out. Husband has gone to site ( he is fly in/fly out) until Mon when she leaves. He's been great but a little too overprotective. As I mentioned I have had the rest of this week off works but am beginning to feel bored.&nbsp; I need to have the stimulation but I know I need to slow down to let my body rest. Not good at this. I've always been pretty active.
I hope things inprove for you and good luck with your next round. It isn't easy but you will get through.
Thinking of you,
Al xxx

al · Answer

Hi Dette,
Hang in there! I too have days like these. I just begin to feel normal - week 3 of my chemo cycle and I have cycle 3 tomorrow.!I am &nbsp;sick of feeling like&nbsp; crap most of the time and tired!! Husband has been very good but keeps reminding me how behind he is with work and off loads so much on me. He is barely coping as well. He has a cough he can't shake but says he is fine. I've got my sister-in-law coming from Sydney tonight to help out. Husband has gone to site ( he is fly in/fly out) until Mon when she leaves. He's been great but a little too overprotective. As I mentioned I have had the rest of this week off works but am beginning to feel bored.&nbsp; I need to have the stimulation but I know I need to slow down to let my body rest. Not good at this. I've always been pretty active.
I hope things inprove for you and good luck with your next round. It isn't easy but you will get through.
Thinking of you,
Al xxx

tabbycat · Answer

Hi Dette
Great big hugs from me....I know exactly what you are going through and really do feel for you.
After my first FEC I thought, If only I could be like Dette, but nausea and weakness kicked in early and then I had a fall and broke my foot!!! what a bugger, as now I can't even go for walks. Second treatment same resault as first but now with infection in arm from injection for neuto whatever so not a happy camper. Tears just roll from my eyes willy nilly. Living on my own now with partner coming on weekends and wonderful sister dropping in from time to time. Feel sorry for myself and then imagine those in worse shape. Thinking like you, must see counsellor.
Have 2rd FEC coming up on Thursday and am truly dreading it and cry when I think about it. Not good shape to be in so will try hard to pull myself together before then!
I know you are such a strong lady, so hang in there, we are all thinking of you.
love and biggest hugs xlouisex

w_w_w_dette · Answer

Hi wonderful ladies and thank you so much for your support, kind words and hugs.
It is amazing how things can change after some sleep and open talking! And yes Tonya the lessening in finger pain has had aparallel effect on hubby's temperment! Mind you so also has me telling him openly how I was feeling and our GP talking to him.
My son and daughter took me through for my first docetaxol on Thursday - that actually went well and with the help of the steroids I was doing great until day 3 after. Wow has this stopped me in my tracks - can't believe how little get up and go I have! Still persevering to have a walk every day but they are certainly short, sharp and flat!!&nbsp; It's a week tomorrow so hopefully I'll start to pick up again soon. Mind you has given me a reminder that perhaps for the rest of chemo, I should concentrate on little things for myself and family and let school off the lease! I know all will survive.
Sandy thanks for the nails giggle - sounds so like me!
Louise all the best for tomorrow - 3rd FEC shouldn't hold any more surprises surely!!
Special thoughts and hugs&nbsp;to you all, Dette ooxx

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Sooky la la time!

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