Sooky la la time!
Warning one and all - I need to get it out there! Not a mid-life crisis - a mid-chemo crisis for me maybe! Could be for lots of reasons, none of them or all but I'm certainly sooky with lots of tears and I DON'T LIKE IT!
The dex and anxiousness prior to my first taxotere today(maybe) have ceratinly kicked in and sleep isn't happening. Yes should have taken something but bit late now me thinks as have to leave home at 8am. My neutophils have dropped to borderline since ok on Friday and so have to have another blood test early morning. I've been incredibly tired this last week which is unusual for me on week 3 of the cycle but maybe the reason for the fever and chills yet now infection found last Friday. No doubt playing part in the sookiness!
My husband has also crashed and is not coping (my opinion anyway) and I'm not coping with the lack of support. He's stresses about work, injured himself last week and left it so long that now has a massive infection threatening his finger. I've no doubt he's in serious pain (especially being a male!) but he's not nice to be around at the moment. Of course ask him and he's doing fine and being the stubborn "i don't need help" man that he is will not seek and I wonder accept support. Last night the way he spoke to our kids (adults) who have come home to visit and help out, I wouldn't be surprised if they left again today! Oh no then he'd have to take me through to oncolgist and chemo - they'll be staying.
Okay that's out so now for action ideas. Think I need to build the strength to tell hubbie that I believe I need to look elsewhere for the support I need/want and he can't give at the moment. Tell the kids I'd understand but love it if they can survive him at least for short bursts. Make an appointment with my wonderful GP (who also undestands hubbie well) and maybe seek out the social worker which I haven't done yet.
Whinge over for now.
I hope all you ladies are fairing well and if you've read this far you are either as ditzy as me or have a super inner strength - the latter I'm sure. Take care xxx