Hi, I am also on virgin soil here, found my lumps in the shower end of October, almost discounted it as a reminder of a motor vehicle accident. But that very same week I received a breast cancer awareness pamphlet from the Electoral commission. Also I was going to see my doctor that week, so I thought why not mention it. So coincidence was a very important factor in my diagnosis.
I have never been so blown away as I have been the last three months. I was diagnosed with aggressive, high grade invasive ductile cancer. Surgery in November with a 6cm mass removed, but they couldn't get it all as it was too close to the chest wall. Because of how big it was and how fast it appeared I didn't actually get to do most of the b/c screening tests before the surgery so December, my feet didn't hit the ground and I only had a few days free before Christmas and chemo started As I had to have some molars remove to reduce any potential infections through the mouth. Three molars out in two appointments, they cut into my jaw to get them out so I was in fluids for Christmas and expected to be on the up-chuck patrol for New Year’s (my chemo started New Year's Eve).
Do not even bother with Google, or even Google scholar which is better at factual information. As everyone says bcna and the cancer sites are more reliable. You will get through this and are much stronger than you think at the moment. In the bad times try to only focus on that you can handle or control. Even if it is not something you technically control. In the bad times all I focused on was taking my next breath, I have lost count of the moments I have had to recite ‘breathe just breathe”.
I have been completely blown away by the support and sense of extended family that is bcna, and I have not yet even accessed bcna online. In all the clinics and appointments I have been in there is so much support. I do not have a family support network with the exception of my children, which I tend to protect not expect support from. But I made a point of when I found out the news of making a conscious decision to put myself in the hands of the doctors and my medical team. I had to admit saying I 'had a medical team', tickling my fancy for a few weeks. But they have made such advancements and the success rate today is amazing, and besides you get an automatic invite into the bcna family. When I came round after surgery I literally had to frisk myself that they had actually operated and was amazed at insignificant the surgical wounds were. With all my other health considerations going into surgery, I awoke feeling like I had just turned my head from one person to another and the scene and time had charged to post operation. Since then I keep waiting for all these horrible things to happen that you hear about with cancer and cancer treatment but with each new corner I turn there is only support and caring. I am finding we survivors are not amazing women all on our own, (okay I am not there yet) but our success stories are the results of the systems set in place by the professionals devoted to their craft and the support network. A thing to remember is that support network is a system set in place by mothers and carers, your family and personal support network are emotionally involved and while honesty with them is important sometimes it is too painful for you or them at the time and this is when bcna and all the personnel of your medical team makes so much difference. I went to my chemo yesterday without my daughter (who is also my carer) because I felt it was important to face this first time on my own, on my own terms. I didn’t have to put on a brave face, or be aware of, or forgetting to ask any salient questions. I had all my documentation - which is another area where bcna is such a great help. When you cannot absorb all the plethora of information that you will/are bombarded with at all those appointments. I read all of it on those sleepless nights alone in my own time, writing down any questions I had, which of course my daughter had already asked ahead of m, lol.
I am sorry to have written such a long reply, there are no standard answers to b/c, each of us will find our own path, but we can be guided by those who have been there before us. All these women who have responded to your call of help are not just saying pleasantries to cheer you up they have been there, they have done that. The success rate, even for someone like me with (yes the most common form of breast cancer) but also a very aggressive high grade dose the outlook is still very good. So have faith in yourself, your support network and the wonderful doctors and specialists who will each personally handle your poor abused beasts with care, attention, and respect. I myself have never been so ‘handled’ in my life, I feel like I have flashed a battalion of people and at times think it would be tie saving to walk into a room with the poor things bared. As it seems all I do most days, fortunately this seems to be decreasing, and only a few more need to be exposed, lol.
The last thing I would suggest and is my tool for life is your sense of humour, expose it regularly and often. I play tricks and tell jokes to anyone and everyone, it is really true when they say laughter is the best medicine. And so saying to help you laugh for today I will relate one incident that happened to me in December when we were in the merry-go-round of tests and scans. My daughter and I had arrived at the hospital early in the morning for that days encounters with men and machines. We were leaving the car park as a vehicle was entering, my daughter passed in front of the entering car as the boom gate began to rise. Pedantic old me, I passed behind the vehicle only to find my way blocked by the car park entry machines. So had to cross back in front of these where my daughter with a look of superiority of her smart more sensible pathway awaited me. Unfortunately I had forgotten something, the boom gate. Yep, I got bonked on the head and almost fell to my knees, okay well it was a close call. I myself did not know what hit me, and holding my head looked around at the offending assailant, but none was in sight as the boom gate had already retracted. Of course my ever knowledgeable daughter was on hand to remonstrate me on my erring ways. We entered the hospital with me holding my head and blood running down everywhere. Fortunately a concerned staff member redirected me to emergency where my tale was duly told amid much head shaking, bemusement and as is usual with me humour. Apparently this was a first for everyone, not just me, and throughout that day and in many days to come this tale followed me, with much humour for everyone. In ending, live in the moment, be thankful for each one and everyone that you love. Yesterday as I was in chemotherapy there was a gentleman (well I am assuming he was a gentleman, lol) related to each of us an incident in his life where he actually died. I have never been afraid of death, but this fellow made a point of telling us that when he died, everything was warm and welcoming. I think I have related this correctly, I hope so, because it was important for him that he assured us in the unit yesterday that death is not something to be afraid of. I have always felt is the quality of life that is important, live in the moment, everyone you care for let them know you love them and share your love with them. Give them your love, this is not a personal or individual life experience, it affects those who love you, so share it, discuss it, just as you do they need assurances too. This journey you are on is a hard one, but you will be okay, listen to the doctors, they actually do occasionally know what they are talking about, and trust, or have faith, which ever you need to help you on this journey. And good luck I wish you all the best, there will be good moments, precious moments for you ahead, with friends you have not yet met.
