This may come out not making sense as I am somewhere in between being scared shitless and f*/#&%g furious.So after the mammogram and u/sound the doctor popped her head in (obviously they could see I was starting to freak out) and said there was no changes to last years scans. Gave me a smile and said goodbye. Phew. I was feeling quite positive after that until the receptionist rang and said I needed to come back for another targeted ultra sound as the MRI had picked up something. The other two hadn't, yet again! Oh and the doctor wanted me to go tomorrow and follow her to their other facility as she is only in Ipswich on Thursdays and wanted to talk to me. So my head is in a mess and the tears are starting, my heart is pounding and I've got the shakes. I don't know if I can do all that again. I know I am over thinking and not to freak out totally before I know for sure. But FAAARRRKKK this shit,

Well ladiesManaged the 3 hour drive to Broome for CT Scan today with only 1 "wee" stop at Roebuck Roadhouse! Drank the 2 litres of water all the way there as requested and then find out that I only had to drink the 2 litres of water AFTER the scan to flush out the contrast dye! I am sure that the instructions were to drink between Derby and Broome. Oh well blame cancer brain.Anyway the radiologist said at least I was well hydrated.Results will be available on Tuesday. Got a call to see the GP regarding the blood tests from 2 weeks ago. Add the CT Scan and blood tests, all I want to do is get my husband to dig a nice hole with the backhoe in our pindan dirt for me to put my head in. I am fed up of being poked, prodded, pricked and scanned. So to compensate and reward myself for being good I ate 1 packet of lolly snakes on the trip home.

CT done this morning....now the waiting game until Tuesday. Tick tock, tick tock. Best cannulation nurse ever. Didn't feel a thing which is much preferable to the general digging and poking they have to do since chemo. On a plus note, my veins appear to be gushing again. Well, at least one anyhoo.

Got a call from the area manager and the practice (is that what they call it?) manager almost immediately after. I received the obligatory apology from the area manager but to be honest the practice manager seemed genuinely appalled. He was calling a staff meeting at lunch today and had my letter with him for all to view. He thanked me several times for bringing it to his attention, was receptive and empathetic to my explanation of how people feel in these situations and agreed it was a very poor performance. H e was most apologetic and advised that he will have more frequent staff meetings with "patient care" as a reminder each time. That's all I can ask I guess.

Afternoon lovelies. Thank you again for all your thoughts and good wishes. Without this forum I think we would all be a babbling mess.I have been ultra sounded to the eyeballs again today by two sonographers and the doctor herself. Yay for the excellent team at I-Med who did not keep me waiting and talked to me the whole way through about their thoughts. This makes such a huge difference.The consensus appears to be that they are "reasonably" sure the MRI has picked up scar tissue and surgical changes. My new surgeon (the old one is on long service leave) will have to give the all clear on Tuesday. I am taking this as all positive right now. I have chosen the new surgeon as she is one of the few who will come out of theatre and up to the ward to check on her patients personally. And it's nice to have another girl on the team.As to the wall. (goodness that felt good). Well, I have to finish that now (and go to the dump).So woo hoo. Cheers ladies. It's wine o"clock.

How beautiful is it that if we know someone is going through something tough, even though we don't actually know them in the real world, they are in our thoughts until they get through the fog. It's a kind of connection that no one else can understand.

So much for good vibes. Scan day sucked . They've called me back.

207 Replies

Annie_C
Member
8 years ago
@kezmusc
You are encompassed in my thoughts and love today. And when you have finished your plaster wall I have a bloody bathroom / laundry combined that I hate. Seriously thinking I might demolish it to have the one I want. Eying off the backhoe!
Take care and warm Kimberley wishes to you.
Annie
kezmusc
Member
8 years ago
Thank you so much ladies. I dearly appreciate all your thoughts. It's so nice to know I have support from you all. I put myself into a codeine induced coma last night and did get some sleep thank fully.

Appointment is at 10.30 so taking all your good wishes with me. Big girl pants on and something that sparkles of course. Now to fill in a couple of hours. Me thinks the plaster wall in my house that has been pissing me off is about to come down. Off to find my sledge hammer. At least that should stop my hands shaking.

Hugs to all.
xoxoxoxoxo
smokie08
Member
8 years ago
Sending you a big virtual hug l hope it all goes well today for you @kezmusc ❤
Doin_it
Member
8 years ago
Sending a huge virtual hug @kezmusc xxxooo
Finch
Member
8 years ago
Thinking of you @kezmusc I'm crossing fingers and toes and hoping all is well. Sending love and hugs xxxxxxx
lgray3911
Member
8 years ago
Oh for fucks sake!! This is shit!! It will probably just be a shitty bit of scar tissue! I’m not going to say anything like try not to worry or try and get some sleep cos those days when we used to be able to do that are gone sadly! So do whatever you need to do to get you through the night and will be waiting eagerly to hear the good news that it’s nothing sometime tomorrow and then we will all have that bottle of red people are talking about. Sending big love and some Irish luck xxxx
Jane_Elizabeth
Member
8 years ago
Thinking of you, and wishing you the best for tomorrow. I hope you are able to get some respite tonight.
We are as strong as we need to be.
Piccme
Member
8 years ago
Fuck, fuck, fucity fuck @kezmusc, I am so sorry to hear about this. Like everyone else I am feeling for you. I have everything crossed it’s just scar tissue as others have said. Sending you hugs and all my positive thoughts. Xxx
socoda
Member
8 years ago
@kezmusc, sending the most positive vibes I can muster. Hoping for you that all is clear. Xx
Sarnicad
Member
8 years ago
All the expletives i can think of times 2.

hopefully just meticulous and nothing more

take care

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So much for good vibes. Scan day sucked . They've called me back.

207 Replies

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