So here it begins....

hi, just read your post and I feel for you. I just wanted to say don't be too hard on yourself about maintaining your exercise regime. I too came into having chemo extremely fit and healthy but have found I have had to drop most of my exercising and just managing with the bare minimum, weights occasionally Zumba and cycling occasionally. Winter does not help either. I find my work and family are taking all my available energy. I have been very upset that my fitness levels have dropped significantly. So I just really wanted to say, do what your body can cope with but you need to rest as working and family do take a lot out of you while having chemo.

I had surgery first, now having chemo, then more surgery and finishing off with 5 days a week for 5 weeks of radiation treatment. I am hoping after my last round of chemo Monday week I can get into some serious fitness training before my next lot of surgery.

I have found that after watching Catalyst about exercising before and immediately afterward chemo. I tried it and it actually helped but didn't do it for my last round and found I suffered more from side effects.

Hi Tanya

So sorry to hear of your diagnosis. I too am a mother of two young children (5 and 3) and was working full time when I was diagnosed in January.

I can only speak of my personal experiences - everyone has a different one, even on the same course of treatment.

I have just finished four and a half months of chemo (FEC/D) and there was no way I personally could have worked during that time. Apart from other symptoms, my brain just wasn't (isn't) working the way it normally would and as a high school teacher that wouldn't have worked. Not fair on the students. Plus many speak of flexible working arrangements but again as a teacher that would not have worked.

BUT many women on here have worked through chemo. If your job is one where flexible working arrangements can be made then that's a possibility. The week of chemo for me was usually a write-off but I gradually improved after that during week 2 and nearly normal by week 3. Many women have also had minimal side effects during chemo and have worked right through with no issues. Some have continued to work for their own sanity - others have taken a break for their own sanity. That probably doesn't help you at all but it's true that everyone is different.

In terms of exercise - I have learnt through this forum that many women continue to exercise right through chemo - gym, weights, even running marathons! Some cannot. I am one of the cannot ones. My exercise has been limited to brief walks on days when I feel up to it.

My children were also my greatest concern but they have been amazing. I was honest with them straight up, told them what was going to happen with my treatment etc. Even overheard my daughter explaining it to one of her prep buddies. They know that sometimes mummy can play with them, some days she needs to stay in bed and rest. They understand more than we think.

You will be amazed at the inner strength you find. People keep telling me I seem to be coping amazingly well but I tell you what, if one more person tells me how strong I am, I think I'm going to thump them! Because, you know, it's ok not to be.

I hope you have a good support network around you. I'm not sure where you are located but if you would like to touch base with another mummy, feel free to pm me. We are all here to support one another.

x-Sherril

Hi Tanyal,

Sorry you have found yourself here but you are in good company. 

I can't add much to what has already been posted, but just wanted to offer you my support and to send you hugs.

When I was first diagnosed it was a shock, as it is to everyone, and I did shed a tear or 2 but within minutes I found this strength ... no idea where it came from ... but I was okay with it. Just knew I had to go through the motions and get things done. But then I hit a wall once or twice and it was a relief to have this site to go to.

I'm sure your husband and family will be there for you, no matter what, but if there are times when you want to ask a question or need advice or just want to talk or rant the wonderful ladies here will be a great help.

All the best

San-Dee

So sorry to hear your news.  I hope all goes well in the end.

The other advice people have given you on this site is very good.

 I just wanted to add that if you have a mortgage it's worthwhile contacting your bank for hardship help.  Apparently they have this but don't advertise it.  It's very hard having money worries while going through treatment.  

Also centre link has a  small carers pension available for people who care  for someone very ill.  I don't know much about it, ad it's not much, but might come in handy of you stop work and don't have sick pay,

Don't be too proud to ask for help.  With little ones, and cancer, you need as much help as you can.  

Everyone is different, but if you have to cut back on work, there is no shame in it.  Chemo is very challenging for some of us.  And oh the joy of chemo brain!  There will be plenty of time to work when you are well again.

good luck with everything Karen

Welcom to the group Tanya and sorry for the reason for joining.

It is all a bit overwhelming and kind of full of confusion and uncertainty when you are diagnosed and before the active treatment starts.

Everyone is different and even on the same Chemo regime we all react a little bit differently and our bodies react differently. Some can work and others cannot and you probably will not know how your body will react until Chemo starts. It is good to plan for not being able to work just in case and also to talk to the employer about some flexible working arrangements like working from home if that is an option at all as there may be days when your body simply will not allow you to leave the home.

Also if you have any type of income insurance worth checking with them if and how your policy may kick in if unable to work plus most superannuation plans have an inbuilt feature where you get income protection where cancer treatment qualifies you for a benefit of up to 75% of your salary after 3 months.

Kids are resiliant so may be worthwhile preparing them slowly (especially if you will be on a regime that involves heairloss). A friend had 3 little ones of similar ages to yourself when she was first diagnosed and they did explain to the kids that mum had to take medicine that would make her hair fall off well in advance. She also got a rather short boyish cut 1 week before her 1st Chemo and she made it a family affair where kids helped choose the cut from the hair magazine and accompanied her to the hairdresser (she had always had long hair prior to that so kids had never seen her with short hair).

She also took them shopping for caps and headwear where they helped pick the appropriate headwear. Funny how quickly kids adjust to the new look plus being involved made them not as worried. And then 1 week after 1st Chemo she went for a crew cut again with the kids and 2 weeks later as hair started to shed she had it shaved completely. She made every trip a family affair and also because it was a slow staged approach kids did not get shocked as each new cut was not hugely different from the one before.

Not sure if something like what she did would help you if your treatment is going to imvolve hairloss.

In any way do take it easy for now. There is a lot to digest and it takes time to get past the diagnosis and the idea of the treatments to come. I remmeber when I was diagnosed back end of February and trying to prepare so my life would not change much only to be knocked flat on my backside time and time again as I was denying what was going on and thinking I could control the course of what would come. 

I guess we have to plan for the worst; hope for the best and not forget we are human afterall and what is happening to us is way way way out of the ordinary and since there is so much in here that is out of our control; emotions and behaviours (not to mention body responses to various treatments) we never thought would happen to us can and they will happen. 

Whatever does come remember everyone here has been through it or is going through it and we do get it. If you have to be strong for others this is one safe place where we get it and there is no judgement as we really do get it - so be it information you need, a chat, a whinge, good old sooking or an outright meltdown we will get it and will be here for you.

Wishing you all the best and a lot of strength in comming days.

Hugs

Jel.

Sorry to hear yet another has been diagnosed with bc. Do you have someone you can leave the kids with while you have chemo? It is very nice to have a support person with you during the hours sitting there and a second pair of ears for your appointments as you won't pick up on half of what is said, its just so overwhelming.

You won't need the gym but cycling is doable. The only thing is be very careful of the sun. Your skin just won't take much of it during chemo at all. Possibly by the time you get to work cycling, you won't have the energy left to do any work so maybe you could organise a lift for those days? Some days are fine on chemo and some are just flat out on bed days. There doesn't seem to be a written pattern to it at all so stay flexible with work.

Kids are very adaptable. Let them nurse you and do little things for you if they want to. It will help them to cope. Just make them understand mums a bit sick now but she will get better; its just going to take quite a while. Hugz XXXX

Hello Tanyal, I hope you find this forum helpful - it's hard to know what to expect - I remember I couldn't even think of questions to ask when I was first diagnosed. Here on this site you will find women as diverse as any group can be, but we have a shared experience in common, and I have always found that reassuring. 

I am part-way through treatment, and so far I have managed to continue to work - but I've had to make adjustments. I'm lucky my employer was quick to respond with options, that was a great relief. I have had to take time off now and then to heal after surgery, and work flexible hours now through chemotherapy and then radiation. I'm a sole parent of two young adults still very reliant on me and living with me, so the financial impact of cancer in my family would be massive. My lesson has been patience: with my body, my emotions, the ways my loved ones respond to me. I can't afford to panic when my plans to work look to be threatened. When I relax into it, I find very soon a solution presents itself. 

I'm sure you will hear from lots of the others soon, and everyone will be keen to share their experience of diagnosis with you. I remember the first time I saw a heap of responses to my post, I just burst into tears with relief. I was so numb with the shock I guess I hadn't realised how frightened I was and how alone I felt til these ladies reached out to me. 

We women are incredible creatures. You will do well I'm sure! Talk again soon!

K x 

Welcome and so sorry you've  had to join our group. I expected to be able to work on chemo but found physically and emotionally I was unable to do so. I can exercise intermittently but not daily and not during some weeks of chemo. We are all different though and some people are able to do these things. I believe it's good to have a plan if you can't. You have a long journey ahead and we are here to support you as best we can. Take care. Kath x