Forum Discussion
Scan day freaking sucks......yet again. Probable curse words included.
With only minor trepidation and my shit mostly together I went to clinic today to get my results. I stopped to give a co worker that had just been diagnosed (MOFO BC) a hug and a shoulder to cry on for a bit while we were waiting. I heard my name called and promised her she would get through and I would be happy to help if I could in any way. She thanked me with that smile you put on when you are trying so hard not to burst into tears and your heart is aching as I waltzed on in to the doctors office.
Well the whole thing went sideways and turned into me leaving work in a shaky, teary eyed mess. My goodness this thing still rocks you when least expect it.
Here we go again with another fucking ambiguous result about the mystical eliptical thingamajjigy that has taken up residence in the rogue boob. Said thingy has decided to grow 2mm in 6 months. BIRAIDS score now moved up from a 3 to a 4 and hey lets poke a needle in it this time. This presents a problem. Considering the MRI is still the only machine that can see thingy (again it can't be felt by anyone either) and it's positioning, it is probable that a biopsy can't be done in the MRI machine. Still waiting on an answer for that one.
So do we just poke around in there and try to hit it?? Cut it out or off just for the heck of it?
No body is prepared to say it is anything sinister nor are they prepared to say it's not.
Seriously, can someone please tell me how, for the love of god, you can have 4 MRI's, 4 mammograms and 6 u/sounds in a period of 12 months and still not know what this is or isn't.
So as it sits, back to headlining the MDT on Thursday to get input from group of guru's as quote "my breast don't scan normally". Another targetted u/s on Friday. And wait for an answer on whether the biopsy can be done by MRI.
Waiting waiting waiting yet again. Fuckity fuck fuck. I am sick of this roller coaster. I want to get off and my money back.
Mental status right now = somewhere between zoned out numbness and seriously pissed off.
Strongly considering ostrich tactics at the moment.
Thanks for listening. :/
Well the whole thing went sideways and turned into me leaving work in a shaky, teary eyed mess. My goodness this thing still rocks you when least expect it.
Here we go again with another fucking ambiguous result about the mystical eliptical thingamajjigy that has taken up residence in the rogue boob. Said thingy has decided to grow 2mm in 6 months. BIRAIDS score now moved up from a 3 to a 4 and hey lets poke a needle in it this time. This presents a problem. Considering the MRI is still the only machine that can see thingy (again it can't be felt by anyone either) and it's positioning, it is probable that a biopsy can't be done in the MRI machine. Still waiting on an answer for that one.
So do we just poke around in there and try to hit it?? Cut it out or off just for the heck of it?
No body is prepared to say it is anything sinister nor are they prepared to say it's not.
Seriously, can someone please tell me how, for the love of god, you can have 4 MRI's, 4 mammograms and 6 u/sounds in a period of 12 months and still not know what this is or isn't.
So as it sits, back to headlining the MDT on Thursday to get input from group of guru's as quote "my breast don't scan normally". Another targetted u/s on Friday. And wait for an answer on whether the biopsy can be done by MRI.
Waiting waiting waiting yet again. Fuckity fuck fuck. I am sick of this roller coaster. I want to get off and my money back.
Mental status right now = somewhere between zoned out numbness and seriously pissed off.
Strongly considering ostrich tactics at the moment.
Thanks for listening. :/
177 Replies
- @ Sister. It was definately deliberate. :)
So my roller coaster has turned into a bloody merry-go-round for the moment. .
As fate would have it as soon as I turned the ring back on the BCN called followed 5 mins later by the reg.
The next installment of the soapie. You might need wine. I know I do.
BS has requested her trusted guru MRI radiologist (different one to normal.) to do yet another bloody targetted ultrasound. She thinks with both sets of images up she'll be able to hit it with a needle (heard that one before).
I wonder just how much scanning, radiation and poking one boob can take.
BCN has faxed referral and payment form yesterday afternoon and advises radiology place will call me this morning.
No phone call. I call them. Nope we don't have the forms. Not unusal from this place to be honest. I fax a lot of forms to them that go into cyberspace.
BCN, on her day off, calls to try and sort it out. No luck. Leaves message at the hospital for it to be refaxed. Huh! Doubt that will happen. Friday surg clinics are hellfire with a couple of hundred people at times. If it doesn't happen she will hand deliver it Monday morning. Also finds out that MRI guru is actually based in Brisbane not Ipswich and would want to do it there.
Oh, and if she doesn't think she can hit it, I can be referred to RBH as their MRI machine can't do standard guided biopsy, but is capabable of doing a hookwire insertion then they can do biopsy under sedation.
Whatever. I am surprised by nothing these days.
Seriously what the fuck?????????? This actually can't get any funnier. At least their trying all avenues I guess.
So on that note I am off to sit in the pool with a bottle of wine. It's 40 degrees here today, heading for 43 tomorrow and still no storms.
Happy Friday
Hugs to all. xoxoxo - @kezmusc Thanks for your support & good wishes & i send them right back at ya!!! Hope that phone call has come & with it, some good news. Funny how we want the phone to ring but really kinda dont...just in case!! Sometimes we have to heed our own advice....it is so much easier to offer support & comfort to others than to take it onboard for ourselves. The waiting, the waiting....how it consumes us & the little men in our heads have a field day conjuring up every sort of outcome possible! hang in there my sweet, we will get there!! love & hugs & deep breaths xxxx
@kamada @Nefertari Thanks for your prayers & good wishes too. I'll let you know how Monday goes & yes, it will be a long day but hopefully thumbs up for every appointment!! We just have to keep ticking off the years! xx - Hoping that all is okay @kezmusc. Was the phone turned to silent deliberately or a Freudian slip?
- Thinking of you and sending big hugs xx @kezmusc .... all these f***ing delays are a pain in the proverbial!
They have absolutely NO IDEA just how cumulative all the stress is! A day or so delay ... ok. A week ... sort of ok .... 2 weeks PLUS .... GRRRRRR.
6 weeks (like me this time last year ..) DIRTY LETTER! :) - Hope it's all a storm in a ***insert appropriate number*** cup and that it will be wine and the occasional other vice without sweating everything is going to go tits up before too long
I thought I'd avoided all these dramas by going for the scorched earth approach, only to find that breast tissue is not just in your breast and that scar tissue is the devil's work. And that nothing is ever straight forward. Massive contortions and everything crossed for you. Mxx - Thinking about you @kezmusc wishing the best possible outcome xx
- Thank you ladies. Your support is greatly appreciated.
@Anne65, Best of luck for your results lovely. I have fingers, toes and legs crossed for you. <3
You are correct. Ignorance sometimes really is biss. I do like the new version, but you know how it is. That scared little rabbit is ready to jump out when you least expect it and we know better than to say "she'll be right" no matter how much you try.
At present I am sitting here waiting for the BCN to ring me and find out what the MDT has brought about. Funny, but I turned my phone on silent and haven't checked it. hhhmmmm....I'll deal with that later. - @Anne65 and @kezmusc, thinking of you and praying for good results for both of you. Your strength and positivity is astounding <3
Please keep us updated. x - @Anne65 Good grief that sounds like an endurance trial! Hope you reach the finish line in good nick! 😘
- @kamada Thanks my sweet!! I'll let you know how Monday goes. I've got my skin cancer check, mammo, BS appt to get results & then my first lymphoedema screening at Life Cancer centre in Adelaide. I live in the country so when I have to travel to the big city, I make the most of it & get all my appts in the same day. I'll have a busy one. xx
