Forum Discussion
Scan day freaking sucks......yet again. Probable curse words included.
With only minor trepidation and my shit mostly together I went to clinic today to get my results. I stopped to give a co worker that had just been diagnosed (MOFO BC) a hug and a shoulder to cry on for a bit while we were waiting. I heard my name called and promised her she would get through and I would be happy to help if I could in any way. She thanked me with that smile you put on when you are trying so hard not to burst into tears and your heart is aching as I waltzed on in to the doctors office.
Well the whole thing went sideways and turned into me leaving work in a shaky, teary eyed mess. My goodness this thing still rocks you when least expect it.
Here we go again with another fucking ambiguous result about the mystical eliptical thingamajjigy that has taken up residence in the rogue boob. Said thingy has decided to grow 2mm in 6 months. BIRAIDS score now moved up from a 3 to a 4 and hey lets poke a needle in it this time. This presents a problem. Considering the MRI is still the only machine that can see thingy (again it can't be felt by anyone either) and it's positioning, it is probable that a biopsy can't be done in the MRI machine. Still waiting on an answer for that one.
So do we just poke around in there and try to hit it?? Cut it out or off just for the heck of it?
No body is prepared to say it is anything sinister nor are they prepared to say it's not.
Seriously, can someone please tell me how, for the love of god, you can have 4 MRI's, 4 mammograms and 6 u/sounds in a period of 12 months and still not know what this is or isn't.
So as it sits, back to headlining the MDT on Thursday to get input from group of guru's as quote "my breast don't scan normally". Another targetted u/s on Friday. And wait for an answer on whether the biopsy can be done by MRI.
Waiting waiting waiting yet again. Fuckity fuck fuck. I am sick of this roller coaster. I want to get off and my money back.
Mental status right now = somewhere between zoned out numbness and seriously pissed off.
Strongly considering ostrich tactics at the moment.
Thanks for listening. :/
Well the whole thing went sideways and turned into me leaving work in a shaky, teary eyed mess. My goodness this thing still rocks you when least expect it.
Here we go again with another fucking ambiguous result about the mystical eliptical thingamajjigy that has taken up residence in the rogue boob. Said thingy has decided to grow 2mm in 6 months. BIRAIDS score now moved up from a 3 to a 4 and hey lets poke a needle in it this time. This presents a problem. Considering the MRI is still the only machine that can see thingy (again it can't be felt by anyone either) and it's positioning, it is probable that a biopsy can't be done in the MRI machine. Still waiting on an answer for that one.
So do we just poke around in there and try to hit it?? Cut it out or off just for the heck of it?
No body is prepared to say it is anything sinister nor are they prepared to say it's not.
Seriously, can someone please tell me how, for the love of god, you can have 4 MRI's, 4 mammograms and 6 u/sounds in a period of 12 months and still not know what this is or isn't.
So as it sits, back to headlining the MDT on Thursday to get input from group of guru's as quote "my breast don't scan normally". Another targetted u/s on Friday. And wait for an answer on whether the biopsy can be done by MRI.
Waiting waiting waiting yet again. Fuckity fuck fuck. I am sick of this roller coaster. I want to get off and my money back.
Mental status right now = somewhere between zoned out numbness and seriously pissed off.
Strongly considering ostrich tactics at the moment.
Thanks for listening. :/
177 Replies
- Thanks again for everybody's support and kind words <3
Okie dokie. So the MDT is over and true to form my wonderul BCN was straight on the phone to me. Love that woman.
The general consensus is that they are erring on the side of something called "scar evolution" (just means it got bigger) being picked up by the MRI.
However, considering the breast tumour was such a sneaky bitch to find in the beginning and really didn't look like anything much on any scan except a few sparkly bits in the back,ground, nobody wants to commit 100% to that . Hmph.
The plan.
The radiology guru reckons it can't be done in MRI. He is reasonably confident he can hit it with a fine needle biopsy tommorow (heard that one before with the core biopsy that missed).
If that's a fail the surgeon guru says he can open the original scar and take it out without removing any noticeable breast tissue as he says it's in the scar.
Anyhoo, so at least there's a plan of attack. Either way it sounds ouchy to me but what the heck's a few more pokes, prods, and scars right?
@Flaneuse I did say a few fuckity fucks but I whispered them gently to him hehehehe. It's a very slow process. A 10 yr old stallion that has only ever seen people once and that was when they were rounding them up on motorcycles. Aggh poor thing he's petrified. Lucky I can dodge and weave quite well :wink:
xoxoxoxo - @kezmusc By the way, I HATE ostriches. One stole my daughter's birthday cake at her eighth party in a wildlife park.
- @kezmusc You are such a tower of strength for other people on this forum. Wish we could do more for you than send you wishes for the ability to cope during this waiting time. I hope the stallion responded appropriately to a bit of fuckity fuck fuck "do as I tell you" - or a bit of stallion-whispering or whatever you do. Huge hugs.
- Hi @kezmusc,
I have been so impressed when reading your posts to other members, always supporting and encouraging with your amazing sense of humour, strength, honesty and ability to call things as you see them.
I am so sorry to hear you are now in limbo, waiting, waiting, for someone to provide results for you.
It's truly a form of psychological torture!
I am thinking of you and hoping this can be resolved VERY SOON with the best outcome for you! - Fuckity fuck fuck indeed! (I was just thinking of this comment the other day!!)
OMG - how bloody frustrating & upsetting for you for it to be so ambiguous! We have all these scans done to get a result, not a maybe ..... I have asked for a particular lady to do my US in a few weeks - I have utmost faith in her - less in everyone else. Great that your BCN is getting 'a trusted one' to do another one for you.
No need to apologise to anybody, either!!
Go the Ostrich & keep busy with that pile of dirt & the stallion (carefully!)
Fingers & Toes crossed for your 2nd opinion & big hugs coming your way xx - Thank you everyone. Your support means the world to me.
The ostrich tactics are working well, I am feeling better this morning. I guess I have to ring my boss and apologise for running away in a blubbering mess. Goodness knows what all the baby doctors on the ward thought. hehehe :smile:
@Zoffiel I think lopping things off is incredibly brave, but I know in my heart that is not something I can do unless there is and incredibly good reason.
@Afraser thank you and I do so hope you are right. I had a good chat with my BCN last night and she's requested a particular radiologist to do the u/s for a second opinion. She says not to panic and something about "smooth edges" on the thing which is a good sign, but given the history etc yada yada yada and she will call me after the MDT.
Time to find something to do and get busy. I have a big pile of dirt that needs moving and an unhandled stallion I have to make friends with so that will be todays project.
Love to all.
xoxoxoxo - Def the ostrich. It's incredible that it's so ambiguous. That's just so bizarre and so not fair. I think if it was me I would get rid of it as it would always be on my mind and too hard to go through this each time. But do what you've gotta do @kezmusc - thinking of you.
- Go ostrich!
Thinking of you - Oh FFS. I know if it was me I'd be saying just cut ut out and look at it properly...if the can find it that it.
- So sorry to hear of you outcome or lack of it.
Ostrich sounds good to me too.
i am blown away by the persistence of requesting mammograms and US when they didn’t show what’s there first time around for me. Do you all think they do that just to be able to say they are monitoring us? Seems like a waste of resources to me. There is no accountability if the operator and “specialists” who check the film are having a blind day and totally miss what is in front of them.
It is us the crash test dummies who have to live with the result of their incompetence.
Rant over 🤔🤨🥴
