Forum Discussion
Scan day freaking sucks......yet again. Probable curse words included.
With only minor trepidation and my shit mostly together I went to clinic today to get my results. I stopped to give a co worker that had just been diagnosed (MOFO BC) a hug and a shoulder to cry on for a bit while we were waiting. I heard my name called and promised her she would get through and I would be happy to help if I could in any way. She thanked me with that smile you put on when you are trying so hard not to burst into tears and your heart is aching as I waltzed on in to the doctors office.
Well the whole thing went sideways and turned into me leaving work in a shaky, teary eyed mess. My goodness this thing still rocks you when least expect it.
Here we go again with another fucking ambiguous result about the mystical eliptical thingamajjigy that has taken up residence in the rogue boob. Said thingy has decided to grow 2mm in 6 months. BIRAIDS score now moved up from a 3 to a 4 and hey lets poke a needle in it this time. This presents a problem. Considering the MRI is still the only machine that can see thingy (again it can't be felt by anyone either) and it's positioning, it is probable that a biopsy can't be done in the MRI machine. Still waiting on an answer for that one.
So do we just poke around in there and try to hit it?? Cut it out or off just for the heck of it?
No body is prepared to say it is anything sinister nor are they prepared to say it's not.
Seriously, can someone please tell me how, for the love of god, you can have 4 MRI's, 4 mammograms and 6 u/sounds in a period of 12 months and still not know what this is or isn't.
So as it sits, back to headlining the MDT on Thursday to get input from group of guru's as quote "my breast don't scan normally". Another targetted u/s on Friday. And wait for an answer on whether the biopsy can be done by MRI.
Waiting waiting waiting yet again. Fuckity fuck fuck. I am sick of this roller coaster. I want to get off and my money back.
Mental status right now = somewhere between zoned out numbness and seriously pissed off.
Strongly considering ostrich tactics at the moment.
Thanks for listening. :/
Well the whole thing went sideways and turned into me leaving work in a shaky, teary eyed mess. My goodness this thing still rocks you when least expect it.
Here we go again with another fucking ambiguous result about the mystical eliptical thingamajjigy that has taken up residence in the rogue boob. Said thingy has decided to grow 2mm in 6 months. BIRAIDS score now moved up from a 3 to a 4 and hey lets poke a needle in it this time. This presents a problem. Considering the MRI is still the only machine that can see thingy (again it can't be felt by anyone either) and it's positioning, it is probable that a biopsy can't be done in the MRI machine. Still waiting on an answer for that one.
So do we just poke around in there and try to hit it?? Cut it out or off just for the heck of it?
No body is prepared to say it is anything sinister nor are they prepared to say it's not.
Seriously, can someone please tell me how, for the love of god, you can have 4 MRI's, 4 mammograms and 6 u/sounds in a period of 12 months and still not know what this is or isn't.
So as it sits, back to headlining the MDT on Thursday to get input from group of guru's as quote "my breast don't scan normally". Another targetted u/s on Friday. And wait for an answer on whether the biopsy can be done by MRI.
Waiting waiting waiting yet again. Fuckity fuck fuck. I am sick of this roller coaster. I want to get off and my money back.
Mental status right now = somewhere between zoned out numbness and seriously pissed off.
Strongly considering ostrich tactics at the moment.
Thanks for listening. :/
177 Replies
- Just got back on and saw your post @kezmusc. Bugger! But decision made. Wishing you all the best for tomorrow and hope it goes smoothly. Big girl undies and you can pull them on with best if them.
- @kezmusc OMG!! Now lets just skip 2020 & bring on 2021 just for you. It is a credit to you, that you have such a great wit, sarcasm & healthy perspective on life!! You must be screaming inside & deserve to be. You are such a trooper that has been through the wringer. You must be thinking, just get me to hospital, surround me with surgeons & start working on me from head to foot! Wishing you soooo much love & prayers for Wednesday. You got this lovely!! love & hugs xxxx
- Hello @kezmusc thinking you you, all the best this week!
- Good luck kezmusc.
- Decision made, well done. I hope the next few days pass swiftly. And that Wednesday yields no nasties and no subterranean collapses. K xox
PS I loathe the cause but am so amused by this radiology mob being forever known as "the birthday cake people"! - Good thinking but sheesh, it will be a relief to see the (happy) end of this saga. Best wishes.
- @Shamrock81, Thank you. There is some zoning out going on believe me. It will be full on zombie mode on Wednesday. The amount of scanning I've had is ridiculous. I should bloody glow in the dark by now.
After a long dicussion with my BCN yesterday I have decided to go ahead with the procedure on Wednesday. As much as I am loathe to do it I think I would kick my own ass if I wait and watch and the thing keeps growing so I run out of surgical options. BCN is checking out recon options for me in case it all goes to shit.
This will give you a laugh. The radiology place (the birthday cake people) rings and advises that they will have to change my appointment time for the hookwire. After all the trouble I've had with things being visible and the volume of scans I have on record there the idiots had booked the h/wire to be done by mammogram by the wrong radiologist. So they now need to make the apt later so the right radiologist could do it by u/s.
You're f&%$ing kidding me. Does anybody even read the referrals???????????????
So fingers crossed Madame BS lives up to her reputation and hopefully she can see the elusive thingy.
P.s
Elton was freaking awesome. - Wow, I was feeling sorry for myself and my 3 dodgy scans but this has kicked me into reality.
Your ability to stay present and not completely zone out astounds me. Amazing strength. Whatever you decide and happens I reckon you’ll come out on top. Good luck to you and thanks for sharing x - @kezmusc, thinking of you and hoping that it turns out to be nothing.
I can understand about your mind being in turmoil, it sucks having to make these decisions.
I am a bit of a waffler on important decisions, I decide one day and then the next day I've convinced myself the other way.
Enjoy the concert and your weekend away, you deserve it <3
Good luck for the 22nd if you decide to go that way, sending a virtual hug for the sadness xx - All the best for your decision making - I don't envy you having to make it. Either way - best wishes for a good outcome! xx
Enjoy the Elton John Concert tonight!! I hope you are dancing in the aisle - sore foot or not!! xx
