Forum Discussion
Scan day freaking sucks......yet again. Probable curse words included.
With only minor trepidation and my shit mostly together I went to clinic today to get my results. I stopped to give a co worker that had just been diagnosed (MOFO BC) a hug and a shoulder to cry on for a bit while we were waiting. I heard my name called and promised her she would get through and I would be happy to help if I could in any way. She thanked me with that smile you put on when you are trying so hard not to burst into tears and your heart is aching as I waltzed on in to the doctors office.
Well the whole thing went sideways and turned into me leaving work in a shaky, teary eyed mess. My goodness this thing still rocks you when least expect it.
Here we go again with another fucking ambiguous result about the mystical eliptical thingamajjigy that has taken up residence in the rogue boob. Said thingy has decided to grow 2mm in 6 months. BIRAIDS score now moved up from a 3 to a 4 and hey lets poke a needle in it this time. This presents a problem. Considering the MRI is still the only machine that can see thingy (again it can't be felt by anyone either) and it's positioning, it is probable that a biopsy can't be done in the MRI machine. Still waiting on an answer for that one.
So do we just poke around in there and try to hit it?? Cut it out or off just for the heck of it?
No body is prepared to say it is anything sinister nor are they prepared to say it's not.
Seriously, can someone please tell me how, for the love of god, you can have 4 MRI's, 4 mammograms and 6 u/sounds in a period of 12 months and still not know what this is or isn't.
So as it sits, back to headlining the MDT on Thursday to get input from group of guru's as quote "my breast don't scan normally". Another targetted u/s on Friday. And wait for an answer on whether the biopsy can be done by MRI.
Waiting waiting waiting yet again. Fuckity fuck fuck. I am sick of this roller coaster. I want to get off and my money back.
Mental status right now = somewhere between zoned out numbness and seriously pissed off.
Strongly considering ostrich tactics at the moment.
Thanks for listening. :/
Well the whole thing went sideways and turned into me leaving work in a shaky, teary eyed mess. My goodness this thing still rocks you when least expect it.
Here we go again with another fucking ambiguous result about the mystical eliptical thingamajjigy that has taken up residence in the rogue boob. Said thingy has decided to grow 2mm in 6 months. BIRAIDS score now moved up from a 3 to a 4 and hey lets poke a needle in it this time. This presents a problem. Considering the MRI is still the only machine that can see thingy (again it can't be felt by anyone either) and it's positioning, it is probable that a biopsy can't be done in the MRI machine. Still waiting on an answer for that one.
So do we just poke around in there and try to hit it?? Cut it out or off just for the heck of it?
No body is prepared to say it is anything sinister nor are they prepared to say it's not.
Seriously, can someone please tell me how, for the love of god, you can have 4 MRI's, 4 mammograms and 6 u/sounds in a period of 12 months and still not know what this is or isn't.
So as it sits, back to headlining the MDT on Thursday to get input from group of guru's as quote "my breast don't scan normally". Another targetted u/s on Friday. And wait for an answer on whether the biopsy can be done by MRI.
Waiting waiting waiting yet again. Fuckity fuck fuck. I am sick of this roller coaster. I want to get off and my money back.
Mental status right now = somewhere between zoned out numbness and seriously pissed off.
Strongly considering ostrich tactics at the moment.
Thanks for listening. :/
177 Replies
- Thank you lovelies.
@arpie I am still planning to go away at this point. I have to. Every time we go camping it rains and we need the rain :)
@iserbrown, if she disturbs the seroma the whole thing could colapse in. I have no insurance so reconstructive surgery will require either a long wait or I have to sell my soul to the devil. Or maybe a kidney.
@suburbangirl awww thank you sweet. xoxo
@kmakm If another bloody machine could see it the bx wouldn't be too much of an issue. It's very clear on the MRI but nothing else. Its too close to the surface to be able to bx in the MRI for some reason.
We've been watching it for almost 2yrs now. It was 4mmx2, it's now 10mm x 6mm so the concern is the growth, alebit slow.
I dunno, my gut says strongly it's all ok and you don't need to do this. My head, however, has the big "what if it's nasty and you don't" you know how it goes.
I am so conflicted it's making me sick.
Anyhoo, best snap out of it and try to make a definite decision within a couple of days.
On a lighter note. Elton John concert tonight!!!! Still can't wear any nice shoes coz of my stupid foot which I have absolutely nothing about. Phooey.
xoxoxoxoxoxoxo - @kezmusc that just all sucks big time. It's just the pits. You want to put it all behind you and the shit show just keeps rolling on.
As to not doing the procedure, what have you been told about maintaining a watch on it, as opposed to operating? If it's so small they can't get a biopsy of it, and it's a maybe anyway, is pressing the pause button for say, six months, such a bad idea?
I think we all feel sad for you. I add my thoughts and wishes and hugs to everyone elses's. If I could be there to hold your hand through this latest trial I would. Try to keep your chin up, we're with you all the way. K xox - Hi @kezmusc
I just wanted to say really thinking of you and wishing you the very best for the 22nd, these things are just ghastly.
It just brings back the gnawing, anxious feeling that we know so well.
You deserve only the best, you bring so many of us laughter and light moments with your funny stories, not to mention the support and kindness you show to everyone on this site.
xx - Far out! There's a lot to consider and I nearly said a lot of shite! So your boob will resemble a roadmap based on a maybe! So if they upset the seroma then what?
Sorry to read this!
Here's to a surgeon's steady hand and a neat scar.
Sending you a virtual hug.
Take care - Bugger Bugger Bugger - there goes your holiday weekend or do you think you'll be able to squeeze it in still!? :(
I hope she gets the results you deserve this time - and hope you don't have to pay for any of this!!
Feeling your sadness very much just now - big hugs coming your way xxx - Uggghhh, so it's a done deal. Pre admission clinic tomorrow and surgery the 22nd.
BS is pretty sure the biopsy missed completely . She showed me the latest result with the distance between said thingy and clip. The bx was 5mm to shallow. She also did not seem to think continuing to try and bx something that can't be seen was the best option either.
She's not going to be able to go through the old scar line as its too far away to track for her liking and could get messy with all the scar tissue and radiation damage. So she wants to go in straight over the top of it (yay for another scar) and has to not hit the seroma cavity which sits directly under it or risk collapsing the whole thing in. Plus possible nipple sinkage as it's sitting right under it.
Not bloody happy and I told her so. All this risk of comming out of it with mutant boob for a fucking maybe. Seriously considering canning the whole thing.
Very sad at the moment :( - Sorry to hear you are going through all this. If you can perhaps go private, because as you say …..
" Refered to ED to get removed under GA. Ha bloody ha, that's not going to happen. I'd have to have bits hanging off and blood gushing out to go sit in there for 9000 hours and get put on the emergency surg board that could take two days. "
I hope this doesn't drag on too much longer for you. - I've belted it with antibiotics so it's behaving in that way. I'll suss everything out at work on Monday and see what's going to be the quickest way. Maybe they can do it on my lunch break lol
- I agree with @iserbrown. I got one of those in my foot one, all clear (going through my shoe impeded the barb!) but it still took an age to heal, with no infection. You don’t need the aggravation on top of everything else but you don’t need an infection either.
- @kezmusc
Hmmm! You sound a little peeed off however leaving it to possibly fester may not be the smartest move.
