Forum Discussion
Scan day freaking sucks......yet again. Probable curse words included.
With only minor trepidation and my shit mostly together I went to clinic today to get my results. I stopped to give a co worker that had just been diagnosed (MOFO BC) a hug and a shoulder to cry on for a bit while we were waiting. I heard my name called and promised her she would get through and I would be happy to help if I could in any way. She thanked me with that smile you put on when you are trying so hard not to burst into tears and your heart is aching as I waltzed on in to the doctors office.
Well the whole thing went sideways and turned into me leaving work in a shaky, teary eyed mess. My goodness this thing still rocks you when least expect it.
Here we go again with another fucking ambiguous result about the mystical eliptical thingamajjigy that has taken up residence in the rogue boob. Said thingy has decided to grow 2mm in 6 months. BIRAIDS score now moved up from a 3 to a 4 and hey lets poke a needle in it this time. This presents a problem. Considering the MRI is still the only machine that can see thingy (again it can't be felt by anyone either) and it's positioning, it is probable that a biopsy can't be done in the MRI machine. Still waiting on an answer for that one.
So do we just poke around in there and try to hit it?? Cut it out or off just for the heck of it?
No body is prepared to say it is anything sinister nor are they prepared to say it's not.
Seriously, can someone please tell me how, for the love of god, you can have 4 MRI's, 4 mammograms and 6 u/sounds in a period of 12 months and still not know what this is or isn't.
So as it sits, back to headlining the MDT on Thursday to get input from group of guru's as quote "my breast don't scan normally". Another targetted u/s on Friday. And wait for an answer on whether the biopsy can be done by MRI.
Waiting waiting waiting yet again. Fuckity fuck fuck. I am sick of this roller coaster. I want to get off and my money back.
Mental status right now = somewhere between zoned out numbness and seriously pissed off.
Strongly considering ostrich tactics at the moment.
Thanks for listening. :/
Well the whole thing went sideways and turned into me leaving work in a shaky, teary eyed mess. My goodness this thing still rocks you when least expect it.
Here we go again with another fucking ambiguous result about the mystical eliptical thingamajjigy that has taken up residence in the rogue boob. Said thingy has decided to grow 2mm in 6 months. BIRAIDS score now moved up from a 3 to a 4 and hey lets poke a needle in it this time. This presents a problem. Considering the MRI is still the only machine that can see thingy (again it can't be felt by anyone either) and it's positioning, it is probable that a biopsy can't be done in the MRI machine. Still waiting on an answer for that one.
So do we just poke around in there and try to hit it?? Cut it out or off just for the heck of it?
No body is prepared to say it is anything sinister nor are they prepared to say it's not.
Seriously, can someone please tell me how, for the love of god, you can have 4 MRI's, 4 mammograms and 6 u/sounds in a period of 12 months and still not know what this is or isn't.
So as it sits, back to headlining the MDT on Thursday to get input from group of guru's as quote "my breast don't scan normally". Another targetted u/s on Friday. And wait for an answer on whether the biopsy can be done by MRI.
Waiting waiting waiting yet again. Fuckity fuck fuck. I am sick of this roller coaster. I want to get off and my money back.
Mental status right now = somewhere between zoned out numbness and seriously pissed off.
Strongly considering ostrich tactics at the moment.
Thanks for listening. :/
177 Replies
- Oh sorry @Anne65 I meant to wish you all the best for your scan results. It’s pretty natural to be freaking out but hopefully you will be back on here with a big smile of relief on your face very soon!😘
- @Anne65 has said what I am sure many of us feel. You are always caring and genuine in your unstinting support for anyone who needs it. So
know that we get what you are going through and are here for you just like you have been here for us. It sounds like you are in safe hands with your BS so trust her and try not to stress too much. Love and hugs 😘 - @kezmusc OMG, you poor thing! You have always been so positive & strong for many on this forum & your attitude has been so amazing so YOU DONT DESERVE THIS!! I am off to have my 2 year scan-anniversary on Monday & I'm freaking out more this year than last...dont know why but it seems there are so many of us that cant get off this roller coaster. I have had similar to you, lumpectomy & rad & had full faith (?) that that would be the end... i remember reading one of your other wonderful posts about how you love the new you & I applauded you as i felt the same but if i get bad news on Monday then I swear to God that it will freak me more than my initial diagnosis as i now know what I'm in for. Funny how ignorance is bliss!!
Sounds like your BS is amazing & you have a great relationship with her & I love mine too. Fingers crossed we both get good news soon. We are all here for you as you have been for us & so my lovely, the sands of the hourglass continue to trickle but never fast enough. Love & strength xx - @kezmusc Terrible you are still waiting, we all know that's the worst bit. But great you have faith in your Breast Surgeon and she sounds great and like she is thinking the whole thing through for a more careful and longterm solution. I hope you can find some respite from the worry for this next bit! Easier said than done. xxx
- Golly gosh @kezmusc - your BS is on your side & taking precautions for the best possible result, I reckon.
I can understand that a scarred boob from radiation & surgery can present 'special problems' further down the line ... I had a very similar thing happen this time last year.
All the best for your investigative bits on Thursday - hope you get the answers you deserve xxxxx - Far out! You must be pleased that your trusted BS is now on your case but far out, why is it nothing appears straightforward!
Sending you a virtual hug and here's to an accurate biopsy result
Take care - HI all,
I'll try and make it short, but the whole thing is turning in to a bit of a long running soapie.
My BS is back from maternity leave. Very glad I waited.
She's not prepared to go in blind and see if she can find said eliptical thingy without a more accurate position. Because it's sitting joined to the scar tissue and directly above the void the seroma has left, her opinion is that it will be hard to distinguish, she would have to take a lot of tissue, could collapse the void which is holding the shape and I definitely would not be happy with the cosmetic outcome. So so so glad I waited.
Apparently it's much harder to operate neatly on an already scarred and radiation damaged breast. So at this point, she's going to have a chat with the radiologist that reported on the MRI findings, back for another MDT on Thursday and is on a mission to find somewhere that can do an MRI guided biopsy.
Honestly, this thing is like having someone follow you around with a gun in your back. You forget they're there for a while, then they poke you and go "hey, I'm still here remember"
So tick tock, like the sand through the hour glass. Days of our fucking lives.
Thanks for listening lovelies.
xoxo - kezmusc said:With only minor trepidation and my shit mostly together I went to clinic today to get my results. I stopped to give a co worker that had just been diagnosed (MOFO BC) a hug and a shoulder to cry on for a bit while we were waiting. I heard my name called and promised her she would get through and I would be happy to help if I could in any way. She thanked me with that smile you put on when you are trying so hard not to burst into tears and your heart is aching as I waltzed on in to the doctors office.
Well the whole thing went sideways and turned into me leaving work in a shaky, teary eyed mess. My goodness this thing still rocks you when least expect it.
Here we go again with another fucking ambiguous result about the mystical eliptical thingamajjigy that has taken up residence in the rogue boob. Said thingy has decided to grow 2mm in 6 months. BIRAIDS score now moved up from a 3 to a 4 and hey lets poke a needle in it this time. This presents a problem. Considering the MRI is still the only machine that can see thingy (again it can't be felt by anyone either) and it's positioning, it is probable that a biopsy can't be done in the MRI machine. Still waiting on an answer for that one.
So do we just poke around in there and try to hit it?? Cut it out or off just for the heck of it?
No body is prepared to say it is anything sinister nor are they prepared to say it's not.
Seriously, can someone please tell me how, for the love of god, you can have 4 MRI's, 4 mammograms and 6 u/sounds in a period of 12 months and still not know what this is or isn't.
So as it sits, back to headlining the MDT on Thursday to get input from group of guru's as quote "my breast don't scan normally". Another targetted u/s on Friday. And wait for an answer on whether the biopsy can be done by MRI.
Waiting waiting waiting yet again. Fuckity fuck fuck. I am sick of this roller coaster. I want to get off and my money back.
Mental status right now = somewhere between zoned out numbness and seriously pissed off.
Strongly considering ostrich tactics at the moment.
Thanks for listening. :/ - Good on you @kezmusc for waiting til your preferred surgeon is available .... you have to be comfortable with your decisions. xx
All the best, my friend xx - Sounds like a good plan @kezmusc. I know I'd feel very uncomfortable with anyone other than my BS operating on that part of me. Big hug sweets, K xox
