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Christine_Denni's avatar
15 years ago

Rough last few days

What a rough last few days, Having touble sleeping since my work mate passed away from cancer  saturday morning.  On top of 3rd round chemo and thinking about my own mortality. Trying to wrap my head around why Ken. Trying to think about all I have to look forward to like seeing my children and grand babies and my lovely teddy bear hubby who adores me.

You all just realise I'm just babbling on and getting it all out,  hopeing it will make me feel better so I can move on out of this dark place into the shining light.I think I have a lot of crying to da in the mean time.

Any words of advice will be gratefully accepted.

Love you guys

Chrissy D xoxox

31 Replies

  • I have always been a poor sleeper...my mother was and my brother is exactly the same so it must be an inherited thing. I am trying to live with it as I don't want to start taking sleeping pills but I will talk to my doctor next visit. I realise now that the pills are making it worse and it isn't just me. Thanks for taking the time and interest to reply,

    Lyn

  • Hi Lyn,

    I was having hot flushes+++and not sleeping and feeling moody on Tamoxifen.My doc put me on Endep 10mg which is a very low dose antidepressant.It has really helped and no side effects.My husband doesn't have to lock up the knives now!!

                                                             Tonya

  • i just think you ladies are amazing i have only had my first op and having my 2nd next week so i am at the very start of my journey ...... but just reading all those comments makes me feel not so alone i'm defiantly one of those people that never shows her feelings but i'm also a very positive one too but i must say i'm pretty nervous bout whats ahead ..

    thank you ladies for sharing and good luck with all thats ahead

    shaz xxx

  • just reading about your getting angry and flushy at times, this is something you should talk to your doc about, i went through this when i started arimidex, my doc gave me mild anti depressants, and these cured the angry bit to a degree, but well worth talking to someone, even if you decide to go natural. and yes talking to others is a great help, and now typing on here helps, knowing we are communicating with other who are goingn through or have been through it all

    Take Care Moira

  • That is the same as I feel. Sometimes I think I am being self centred and then I think.."No way! This is absolute c--p and if I want to be miserable I will be. It doesn't take long to come out of it again and then I am fine. It is crazy talk but I'll bet you are feeling much better now!!! I know it helps me. Is there a group anywhere near where you live? If not try and start one yourself. Just talking to others is amazingly therapeutic

    Love, Lyn

  • So sorry to hear you are feeling low Chrissy but it happens to us all - I know it won't last long for you though because you are a cheery person.  Just remember we all need time to grieve - for losing others and also for losing part of ourselves to bc.  I have found so many positives from bc though.  Just today I "lost it" so after my specialist's appt I went shopping.  I love this because I always run into long lost acquaintances.  Everyone is telling me how well I look - and I do but I am starting to get "twitchy".  Next Monday will be my first radiation appt;  I will be away from home for 6 weeks (including away from hubby) and TREATMENT will have commenced.  I went to see where I will be having chemo at the Rockhampton Mater Hospital on my return from Brisbane.  Reality is really setting in for me!!!!   I also have the "reason" of mood swings from being on Arimidex.  My body is changing and there are many more changes before all my treatment is OVER.  And your body is going through lots of changes as well.  But it is very sad to lose someone close from the same disease that you yourself are fighting.  Thinking of you mate but let the tears flow when you need to - tears are our release valve!  Will chat again soon. XLeonie

  • Hi Chrissy,

    So sorry to hear about your friend.Ofcourse you'll be feeling down and even more so with chemo.It can do your head in trying to figure out why awful stuff happens to nice people.I've come to the conclusion that crap just happens! All you can do is make informed decisions then fight the fight and maybe pray. Lie low when the miseries hit you and then pick yourself up.You will perk up with a visit from your daughter.Am sending you hugs and positive cyber vibes! You are so thoughtful and caring to us all here in internet land.               

                                          Tonya xx                      

  • Hi Chrissy, I know how you feel and I think every other person in our situation feels the same. I am lucky in that I haven't had  to have chemo but because I still look "normal" my treatment is ignored. I am on Arimidex and I get quite angry and hot flushy at times. I have found that talking to others is a great help as it makes me feel I belong somewhere.

    All the best,

    Lyn

  • I really appreciate you sharing your story of your dad. I did have a good cry after reading your reply and I and going to "toughen up princess" right now. I just spoke to my eldest daughter. They are coming to visit (live in Rocky) on the weekend of the 19th Feb just b4 my next round. She has given me an assignment to scrapbook my two grand daughters albums. So I will have a project to keep my occupied and thniking forward. She has thousands of photos to choose from so I will be engrossed in my beautiful grand daughters for some time to come.

    I hope you feel better soon. How are you feeling eith your chemo. I'm not real good this time. but its my last FEC round then I start Doxcetaxel + Herceptin. Have to have ECG b4 as it Herceptin affects your heart and they want to see how it is b4 starting and eill do them every 3 months for a year. Has your hair fallen out yet?

    I'm thanking god  I have air conditioning as I would be not a happy person without it at the moment. How you getting on with your doctors and treatment?

    I think I am repeating my self. Forgive me My little brain is a mess  at the moment.

    Take care of your self

    Chrissy D xoxox :) Keep smiling she says with tears in her eyes.