Reconstruction - delayed....again.

Hi Helen,

I just wanted to say, "thankyou" for your letter. It's so reassuring to hear from someone who is, sadly, going through a tough time who can understand the emotional and physical side of things.

I am a lot more positive about things now. I am using this as incentive to lose weight but not only that, after coming through this experience and having the knowledge and hindsight, there is a lot of things I would change.

I'm sorry you are stuck with a Dr that obviously has no bedside manner, or conscience, for  that matter.

As far as losing weight, and I can identify with you being on medication that only seems to add weight to us rather than lose weight.  I am now off all medication, I have just passed the 5 year mark. I am now turning into a health freak! Not really, but I am definately seeing the benefits of "natural therapy" rather than pharmaceutical.

If you get a chance, do your own homework, look into things such as essential oils (Young Living has fantastic products!), and juicing, eating more raw foods, etc. I have seen a great improvment in not only my health but the health of my whole family just by slowy changing our diet and introducing more salads and veges and reducing the processed stuff out of our diets.

Cancer sucks big-time!!  But I think, what is worst, is the way we are shunted through the medical system like a number with no chance but to come out the other end sick, weak and looking like a freak.  Its time we all got wise and started realising that our health is up to us.

You sound like you have a wonderful husband who cares deeply for you and not how you look.  They are rare men. I know it's hard, but start seeing yourself as he sees you. You are worth the love he wants to give you!!

God bless you on your journey, thank you for taking the time to write to me.

Sincerely,

Heather

Helen,Thankyou so much for your email. It is easy to think that you are alone in this and that no-one could possibly understand what it is that you are going thru....but then you write to me and I see very clearly that I am not alone and I am one of many going thru a tough time and we all share very similar feelings.I'm sorry that you had such an awful Dr. I have been very fortunate with most of mine but I did have one make some stinging remarks to me about my weight just after I had finished chemo. God forbid that they ever have to go thru what we go thru but they just don't have a clue!Yes, you sound like me, I have the disadvantage of being past menopause now, so my metabolism is probably almost a flatline, however, I have stopped feeling sorry for myself (well, almost!) and am picking myself up ready to fight.My GP actually sent me to a Physio for an appt (unusual, but she was wonderful) who has helped me set some goals and motivated me to set up an exercise plan and I am trying to stick to it. It's funny how you know in your head all the right things to do and now its just a matter of pushing myself to get them done.I know what you are saying about the weight issue and your self-image. Its hard to imagine why our husbands still want us but thankfully, I have a wonderful man and it sounds like you do too. I watched an interesting thing the other day (a Dove commercial) which showed such a startling difference between how we see ourselves and how others see us. It really made me think about my own self-image (or lack, thereof).We are way too tough on ourselves. We have so much to deal with when going through all this cancer journey that we need to stop bashing ourselves up and start realising that with what we have survived, our bodies may show the scars but we are still the same beautiful women we were before it all.So, I am determined to not "get skinny" but "GET STRONG".Thank you again, Helen, and I really hope your journey gets easier. I have found this BCNA site a tremendous help, for info, and to blow off my frustration.Sincerest regards,Heather

Helen,Thankyou so much for your email. It is easy to think that you are alone in this and that no-one could possibly understand what it is that you are going thru....but then you write to me and I see very clearly that I am not alone and I am one of many going thru a tough time and we all share very similar feelings.I'm sorry that you had such an awful Dr. I have been very fortunate with most of mine but I did have one make some stinging remarks to me about my weight just after I had finished chemo. God forbid that they ever have to go thru what we go thru but they just don't have a clue!Yes, you sound like me, I have the disadvantage of being past menopause now, so my metabolism is probably almost a flatline, however, I have stopped feeling sorry for myself (well, almost!) and am picking myself up ready to fight.My GP actually sent me to a Physio for an appt (unusual, but she was wonderful) who has helped me set some goals and motivated me to set up an exercise plan and I am trying to stick to it. It's funny how you know in your head all the right things to do and now its just a matter of pushing myself to get them done.I know what you are saying about the weight issue and your self-image. Its hard to imagine why our husbands still want us but thankfully, I have a wonderful man and it sounds like you do too. I watched an interesting thing the other day (a Dove commercial) which showed such a startling difference between how we see ourselves and how others see us. It really made me think about my own self-image (or lack, thereof).We are way too tough on ourselves. We have so much to deal with when going through all this cancer journey that we need to stop bashing ourselves up and start realising that with what we have survived, our bodies may show the scars but we are still the same beautiful women we were before it all.So, I am determined to not "get skinny" but "GET STRONG".Thank you again, Helen, and I really hope your journey gets easier. I have found this BCNA site a tremendous help, for info, and to blow off my frustration.Sincerest regards,Heather

Dear Happysayles Awful to hear your story. I was very disappointed by what a hospital GP told me about breast reconstruction. First she looked me up and down, asked me my height and weight, got out the calculator and told me I was too fat to have reconstruction, but if I insisted she would refer me to the plastic surgeon. And she stuffed up and told me my BMI had to be 25, not 30. I'd have to lose at least 12kgs. Oh and she added that it would impossible for me to lose weight as I was to have my ovaries out and then Femara drugs for 5 years. I went home shattered. Worst part is this woman is the GP allocated for me at the hospital to deal with my continuing fight against cancer! Stuck with her for the next 5 years! If I cop any more rubbish I'll request someone else. I do understand some of what you are going through. I will never fully accept the way my body is now. I feel awkward and very ugly. It's affecting my relationship with my husband because I don't feel sexy and don't know how he could think I am either. I only lost one breast but I feel like a cyclops! And the pain, discomfort and lack of mobility isn't helping. I've been going through the public system but reading other women's stories I think it will be years til I get close to surgery. And every day I feel fatter and more unfit and worry the recovery will be too hard. I went from being trim and very active last year to feeling like a decrepit old woman, and I'm only 45. We may end up just finding the money to go private. My husband wants his happy wife back! Please know that you are not alone. I know words won't take away your pain, but at least you have reached out via this forum. We are hear to listen and to offer support. This awful disease has changed us forever, but try to hold on tight to that special person you are inside. Regards Helen

Hi there happysayls,

I get how you are feeling! You must be so frustrated after waiting so long. Luckily I dont need reconstruction myself as I have just had a lump removed, but my BMI is well over 30 (size 18-20) and I know how hard it is to lose weight/maintain self esteem and just keep your head up sometimes. Hang in there. I am sure once you have processed this latest hurdle you will find the energy to do something about it. All the best xox

 

Hi there happysayls,

I get how you are feeling! You must be so frustrated after waiting so long. Luckily I dont need reconstruction myself as I have just had a lump removed, but my BMI is well over 30 (size 18-20) and I know how hard it is to lose weight/maintain self esteem and just keep your head up sometimes. Hang in there. I am sure once you have processed this latest hurdle you will find the energy to do something about it. All the best xox

 

Hi there happysayls,

I get how you are feeling! You must be so frustrated after waiting so long. Luckily I dont need reconstruction myself as I have just had a lump removed, but my BMI is well over 30 (size 18-20) and I know how hard it is to lose weight/maintain self esteem and just keep your head up sometimes. Hang in there. I am sure once you have processed this latest hurdle you will find the energy to do something about it. All the best xox