hi allso my story is found a lump in feb, lumpectomy in March, sentinel Node op in April then mastectomy And lymph nodes removed on right breast in mayi am very lucky in that I Do not need chemo nor radiation and have started on tamoxifen Today I went and got my prosthesis and a couple of bras. I have/had big boobs but this seems ginormousi feel that I shouldn’t be complaining about this but I have cried all day. I hate it. I really do. Is this normal? Will I feel better? Right now I wish they removed both breasts and I would have just dealt with that. I would like to get a recon but that’s minimum 12 months awayi am so sorry for complaining but it has all hit me todaydoes it get better?thankslisa xx

Dear @Lisa_E66 Your emotion is probably at least in part due to everything you have been through to this point. It can catch upwith you, especially if there is a trigger. It’s also about reality - you are wearing a prosthesis, it’s not you, it never will be and not unnaturally that makes you sad.I too had big breasts - I didn’t manage to get a prosthesis for 12 months because of a persistent, large seroma and when I did, I wondered how I would ever manage. I was sick of a soft pad that never stayed put but it was light and generally inoffensive. The prosthesis was big, pink, silicone-y and unwieldy. I thought I would never get the knack of inserting it, even tried putting it in before putting my bra on - that was like trying to manage a brick in a sock! But it got better, and easier. That was nearly eight years ago - no reconstruction, have a swimming prosthesis too (the sports model!) and comfortable with it all.I assume you have had a professional fitter? That can make a difference. Mine proposed a bra I would not have chosen myself but which turned out to be both comfortable and improved my posture. Just give it a bit longer. You’re expecting yourself to adjust to a lot of things in a very short time. You want the old you back and the prosthesis is a reminder of the change that has occurred. Normal? You bet! And don’t be sorry, we all need to kick something (preferably inanimate) from time to time. Best wishes.

Lisa, there’s a grieving process to go through and it’s hard. I haven’t got a prosthesis yet - I had a right mastectomy last November. I am fortunate in that I was/am very small breasted so I am not so lopsided but still I find myself mourning sometimes for what I’ve lost. It was trying to kill me and I wanted it off but... I am planning on getting a prostheses before summer but I am hesitant. Does it feel comfortable on the front of you- I guess it’s so new it still feels wrong. I feel like I understand your tears xx

Hello @Lisa_E66. @Afraser has said it all above. Give yourself time, cry when you need to as that emotion is better let out. It will get better. We all get the ups and downs over time and sometimes they come out of nowhere.Hello @ddon. I have tried the Amoena and the Trulife and find the Trulife is far more comfortable as it is much softer on the inside and seems to have more flexibility. It also comes with a soft cotton cover so it is more comfy if you have hot weather - and when you are ready you can use the prosthesis in a normal bra as long as it has sufficient height at the front.The prosthesis are lighter nowadays but the trick is to have the bra firm enough to prevent the movement.

Hi Lisa,It’s early days and a mastectomy affects you on so many levels.You are grieving the loss of a body part,there’s body imagine and navigating bras and clothes,there’s the intimate side,and the mortality thing.It’s a huge adjustment and you have every right to cry and complain.I actually felt more confident when I got my prosthesis and it seemed to relieve the tight sensation I felt- something to do with putting pressure against my chest- weird,I know. I’ve been lopsided for 10yrs-I accept it but I don’t like it.Mine was a recurrence and so I preferred to keep an eye on my chest scar rather than reconstruct.I may get the other breast off but putting my hand up for more surgery is not something I’d do lightly. You’ll get used to your prosthesis in time Lisa- it’ll be just part of getting dressed.Have a breather for awhile before you contemplate more surgery. It’s a big decision either way.

It's definitely a love/hate relationship for me but then again, I've always hated wearing bras and they are now even more constructive due to the structure to take the prosthesis - the thing itself, I barely notice, now. @afraser is right though - the larger you are, the more strain you are putting on your spine by being off-balance. But please don't feel apologetic for mourning what was before. I have had to hide in the loos at the shops because I couldn't stop the tears when I found something else I could no longer wear.

Prosthesis - I can’t stop crying

19 Replies

FLClover
Member
6 years ago
@"Hope 2013" you’re an inspiration ☺️. Wishing you continued strength, resilience and love 🍀😘
FLClover
Member
6 years ago
@Lisa_E66 I’m glad you reached out. The positive people suffer just as much as the others and also need support. Hugs 🍀😘
iserbrown
Member
6 years ago
Hi ladies
Here's a link that may assist in your research
https://www.reclaimyourcurves.org.au/home.html

Best wishes
Take care
Stay safe
Hope_2013
Member
6 years ago
Hey Lisa, am going through similar case I had mastectomy and recon and recurrence so had to get the implant removed and currently flat on one side in sept it will be a year. Unfortunately I had to go through chemo and radiation.

To be honest I don’t even wanna go for reco specially that after radiation I can’t do another implant and it will have to be from my body somewhere which is scary stuff.

It’s not easy what we are going through think positive and it will all pass. I have being going through this since I was 22 yo and here I am 29yo and still fighting. I hope you feel better soon. ❤️😊
Abbydog
Member
6 years ago
My Mastectomy and axillary clearance was late February. I'm a bit like Sister. I've always found bras annoying and have always taken them off as soon as getting home ie if no visitors.
I'm no different now. More so, as my prosthesis doesn't always sit right. The problem with being bra-less now is the lopsidedness. My remaining breast is a generous size. I can't just pop down to the local shop without my bra now, as I'm so asymmetrical. I'd be happier to be flat chested. I'm thinking I will have a reconstruction, when possible. I'm told I need to wait approx 12 months from Radiotherapy. (haven't had yet, still on Chemo)
I've been told of the importance of having even weight distribution for my spine. But I still don't like wearing my bra.
I suppose I can't tell you if it gets better, as I'm at similar stage.
We can only hope it does get better. We are at least well.
Lisa_E66
Member
6 years ago
Thank you SO much everyone. I am feeling a bit better although not quite loving the whole thing. I guess I still have a lot of emotions running through me. Everyone’s advice is amazing and thank you so much for replying
i was fitted by a professional. I still don’t feel like it is the right prosthesis for me but am trying to be more positive. I have had a look at what else is out there, inc the knitted knickers ( so cool). I’m going to keep a lookout for different bras and also my options. Recon is at least 12 months away so I will just need to suck it up. And with so many amazing women in this group I know I will get there. I think I’ve always been the positive one, the funny one, the glass is more than half full one, and the one to protect everyone. It just all bubbled over the other day
so thank you again everyone. You have no idea how much help you have given me. Stay safe and take care
lisa xxx
Afraser
Member
6 years ago
Worth looking at more than one prosthesis if you find the first uncomfortable. I have used Amoena from the outset and am happy with it, but I note @BlackWidow’s comment about Trulife and will have a look next time I get a replacement (a prosthesis lasts about two years, you can claim the rebate every two years as well). I’m in non tropical Melbourne, so don’t have a problem with sticky heat much and wear mine with a bra with a prosthetic pocket. I switched to an Amoena bra (Mona, stocked by Myers) a while ago and like it. Best wishes.
iserbrown
Member
6 years ago
http://knittedknockersaustralia.com/
Zoffiel
Member
6 years ago
I don't know if this would be helpful, but there was a group of ladies making 'Knitted Knockers' which give some form without the weight, heat and stickiness. I'm reliably informed you can also jump on them in a fit of the trantrums without them exploding.
Obviously they won't help if you want to swim but it might be worth checking out (cue someone who can copy and paste a link, I can't from my tablet) while you get your head around the whole business. I've got implant recons, so I can't speak from personal experience. MXX
JulieVT11
Member
6 years ago
@Lisa_E66 I had my left mastectomy about 18 months ago and must say I still hate the proper prothesis, it’s heavy and awful and hot in the Qld summer. I was also fitted with a Amoena leisure form protesting and I wear it most of the time, it’s lighter and softer. It does get easier, I think initially you are going through so many emotions and shock of diagnosis that all you want is the boob off but then the scar heals and time goes on and you start really looking in the mirror and realise it is way more than “just a boob”.