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NelSky's avatar
NelSky
Member
5 years ago

Pre-menopause Hormone pos: HER2 neg

Hi all even my discussion title makes me breath deeply. I’m 42 and was diagnosed on Aug 11th. I’m half way through my radiotherapy and just found out I’ll be undergoing chemo too. I got my head somewhat around my treatment plan but feel like I’ve been smashed again with another sledgehammer and honestly I’m just frightened and already tired by it all. I did the expensive test to check my tumour and it came back chemo would be beneficial. So I’m doing it a bit backward radio then chemo. I cry a lot, my thought jump around between hope and overwhelm wondering if this is my life and is it the start of over or if I’ll ever be well again and I am so emotional about it. I’m sad for me and my 15 year old son and I’m just scared. Also just started zoladex to put me into menopause. So much happening in my body right now. This is my first post, power to all my beautiful sisters XX 

 

5 Replies

  • FLClover's avatar
    FLClover
    Member
    5 years ago
    We are all thrivers @NelSky, we just need to realise it ☺️. Which I admit can be very hard. 
    Good on you, every day getting closer to finishing another important step. For me, radiation whizzed by. But so does everything else. Look after your booby, it’s going through a lot. I’m sure you’re smothering it with lots of moisturiser and kind words. 
    I love the yoga part, reminds me I need to get back into it too 👌🏻. Appreciation for the small things, which actually add up and are very important. 
    About the test, I didn’t do it because it was really expensive, for a result that wouldn’t have been that conclusive anyway. I saw two medical oncologists while I was deciding if I should do chemo. The first one told me it wouldn’t help much doing the test, as you need to send the tumour for testing, and I had 4. 3 in right breast, 1 in left breast. Yes, they decided to have a party in my breasts. But my breasts were not happy about it and complained to the landlady, me, who had them evicted. The second onco told me that without the test, it was a grey area, but according to the free Predict tool online, it was looking like barely 1% benefit from it. He said due to my age I should do it, but that he was also very comfortable with me not doing it. Also, chemo to me means poisons that would have affected the rest of my body, which felt and still feels pretty great, so I decided I would like to keep my body in as optimal a working order as possible, so it can continue to serve me well and fight off anything else that decides to try and attack, for years to come. I am already on Zoladex and Letrozole, so I’m hoping that, with the mastectomies and the radiation, will be enough. 
    Mon Xx
  • NelSky's avatar
    NelSky
    Member
    5 years ago
    @FLClover thanks I needed to hear that. I’m with you I’m not just going to survive but thrive I 😍that. Well I’m half way through radio .. booby getting tender ... I’ve done a little morning yoga and it’s a blue sky so it’s a winning day xx can I ask why you didn’t do the test ?? X
  • iserbrown's avatar
    iserbrown
    Member
    5 years ago
    Well said @FLClover!

    @NelSky
    Heart goes out to you!  It does get better, manageable!  
    Other posts on here like Friday Funnies and Wise Words are a great distraction and mood lifter!

    Best wishes 
    Take care 
  • FLClover's avatar
    FLClover
    Member
    5 years ago
    Hello @NelSky 🙂

    I was diagnosed in Feb, at 39, and felt everything you’re feeling. A lot of crying, fear, terror, hope, then back to fear, overwhelmed by it all. Whole world completely changed, feeling like I was on another planet. Lots of sleepless nights, lots of naps during the day due to depression etc. Also feeling very sad for myself and my then 7yr old daughter. I didn’t do the expensive oncotype whatever test, and chemo seemed of little benefit, so i didn’t do it. But when I thought that I would have to it scared the crap out of me. I did radiation, which also scared me initially, but it ended up actually being fun in the end, going in and seeing the staff there and having chats and laughs with them. I had a double mastectomy before radio, and I’m still coming to terms with the fact my breasts are now fake, but it’s slowly getting better. One thing that helped me A LOT was psychologists. I saw one during my depression, through the hospital, and am seeing another one now through the medical oncologist. She has done wonders for me. I finished treatment just over 2 months ago, and still need more surgery, but most of the time I forget I even had it. I haven’t even been given the all clear yet, but I refuse to be a victim. I choose to be a thriver. It took a lot of effort to get to this place mentally and emotionally, and it’s still a work in progress, but I’m 100% happier than I was even before my diagnosis. 
    Cry as much as you need to, throw tantrums, scream and punch pillows, but also know that you will feel wonderful again. You just need to believe in yourself and your body. We were created to be very strong, and that strength is in you. Be patient, take it a step at a time, allow each phase to run its course, and you’ll be a happy and improved you in no time. 
    All the best, and read positive posts to keep your optimism going. We’ve all been to hell, that’s a given, but we don’t need to stay there 🍀❤️.
    Mon Xx