Post Chemo Life
This is my first week clear of the three week chemo cycle. I am officially finished. Next up for me is a bi-lateral mastectomy and reconstruction in three weeks
Everyday this week I have felt my anxiety increasing. I can't identify any specific reason. It's really interfering in my day to day life, sucking out the enjoyment of activities that have previously been pleasurable. It's colouring every waking minute.
I don't sleep well at all. It's over four months since I had a decent night's sleep. I'm almost looking forward to the 8 - 10 hours on the operating table because I'll be 'asleep' for more than 3 - 4 hours straight. My eyes have been twitching for weeks and weeks.
I've just noticed tonight that three more fingernails have started to discolour. My nails and fingertips are so sore, doing basic household chores hurt. I have to wear gloves to do a lot of them. Folding laundry is like rubbing my hands on sandpaper. Some of my fingertips are starting to feel a bit numb. Several of my toes are turning dark brown and are sore as well.
The chemo induced menopause is awful. My skin is terribly dry. Over the last few days my knees have started to ache when I move them after I've been still for a while. Is that menopause? Could the anxiety be menopause related? The f*****g hot flushes are making me miserable. Mostly I have them for 12 hours a day, from about 8pm to 8am, but today, all day as well. It's bloody distressing. And I hate the freezing chills that often follow. I am never a comfortable temperature anymore. I used to love going to bed. Now I enter my bedroom and look at my bed like it's a battlefield.
And now that chemo is over, I've had to return to 'normal duties' and find my brain is comprehensively unable to process the multi-tentacled beast that is my seven person two dog household. I am making mistakes.
This is basically a big whinge, sorry. I suppose I just have to pull up my big girl undies to the armpits and get on with it. I've treated my BC to give me the best chance of a long life, and these side effects are the price I have to pay. My oncologist is sympathetic but disinterested. Do I work with my GP to try to manage these issues? I am seeing a counsellor for the emotion stuff, I hope that starts helping soon.
I'm interested to hear how other's immediate post chemo weeks were. Reassurance I suppose!
Everyday this week I have felt my anxiety increasing. I can't identify any specific reason. It's really interfering in my day to day life, sucking out the enjoyment of activities that have previously been pleasurable. It's colouring every waking minute.
I don't sleep well at all. It's over four months since I had a decent night's sleep. I'm almost looking forward to the 8 - 10 hours on the operating table because I'll be 'asleep' for more than 3 - 4 hours straight. My eyes have been twitching for weeks and weeks.
I've just noticed tonight that three more fingernails have started to discolour. My nails and fingertips are so sore, doing basic household chores hurt. I have to wear gloves to do a lot of them. Folding laundry is like rubbing my hands on sandpaper. Some of my fingertips are starting to feel a bit numb. Several of my toes are turning dark brown and are sore as well.
The chemo induced menopause is awful. My skin is terribly dry. Over the last few days my knees have started to ache when I move them after I've been still for a while. Is that menopause? Could the anxiety be menopause related? The f*****g hot flushes are making me miserable. Mostly I have them for 12 hours a day, from about 8pm to 8am, but today, all day as well. It's bloody distressing. And I hate the freezing chills that often follow. I am never a comfortable temperature anymore. I used to love going to bed. Now I enter my bedroom and look at my bed like it's a battlefield.
And now that chemo is over, I've had to return to 'normal duties' and find my brain is comprehensively unable to process the multi-tentacled beast that is my seven person two dog household. I am making mistakes.
This is basically a big whinge, sorry. I suppose I just have to pull up my big girl undies to the armpits and get on with it. I've treated my BC to give me the best chance of a long life, and these side effects are the price I have to pay. My oncologist is sympathetic but disinterested. Do I work with my GP to try to manage these issues? I am seeing a counsellor for the emotion stuff, I hope that starts helping soon.
I'm interested to hear how other's immediate post chemo weeks were. Reassurance I suppose!
