Perspective

Hi Heidistar12

Firstly congrats on finishing treatment!  I finished in May and I'm trying to get my energy back as I return to work.  Your post interested me alot so I thought I'd answer you.

In a previous life (before BC!) I worked at Peter MacCallum Cancer Institute for 3 years and was at the coalface of treatment - I'd be responsible for booking all the patients in for their radiotherapy sessions.

I recall that some patients with what was classified as "Head and Neck" cancers had a poor prognosis and chances of survival were alot less than those with other types of cancer.  So sadly the chances of survival you quote could be quite true.

Also you're quite correct in saying that generally people were older, male and smokers.  Smoking is just SO bad for you!!

But like lung cancer, you don't have to be a smoker to get this type of cancer.

Strange as this may sound, did you know that you can get lung cancer from passive smoking - being around smokers (even in a minimal capacity) or from not being around smokers at all.  I knew of a lady who had never smoked, never been around smokers but died of secondaries of lung cancer. 

She was my best friend's sister - I grew up with her and the day she died, ironically was the day I was diagnosed!

Both of these situations are scary but there are some support groups out there for patients like this lady.

I would suggest that if you see or contact this lady again - that you tell her to contact The Cancer Council (there's one in every state).  I'm sure they will support her through this terrible time and possibly put her in touch with a specific support group for her needs.

I do hope she keeps positive and fights hard.

Oh and while I'm on the subject it's natural for you to be conflicted.  We are lucky.  We've finished treatment - it's all behind us and we can look forward to the next phase in our life.  But along the way you meet someone whose outlook isn't the greatest.  Of course you're conflicted - you might even be like me and feel guilty if you meet others with not such a great outlook.

I feel guilty I survived while another friend I have (who was diagnosed 2 weeks after me) with endometrical cancer, died when I was in the middle of treatment.

Don't beat yourself up about feeling conflicted or guilty.  Just go with the flow and understand your feelings are natural.

And I don't know about you, but I will be forever grateful to the BCNA for this network and their support and all the friends I've made along the journey.

Take care.

Luv H