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Maria333's avatar
Maria333
Member
14 years ago

One year on

One year on - a year ago I started chemotherapy. I don't want to ever have to go back to chemo. My body feels so much older, its early days I know. But what happens now...one day at a time.

Some days those around me seem to act as if everything has gone back to the way it was before. It hasn't for me, maybe for them, but not for me.

I have met many lovely people along my way, some of those have passed, some are are still with me. I was very sad when some passed as I felt I had only just got to know them. With others I was pleased as they would no longer be in pain and had no quality of life left.

Some friends stopped calling me and I no longer know what happened, others came closer and held me along my path with their caring and kindness.

Now Arimidex, side effects; feels like bricks on my feet. I have discovered yin yoga, wow. I feel alive and awake, what a cleansing practice.

My Yoga Nidra meditation teacher what an amazing person full of life and vibrancy, many new friends that have travelled a similar path, come and meditate. They have endured pain an errosion of body mind and their soul has awakened and been cleansed in some way.

I still wonder what has it all been for, I am not going back .. always going forward.

Maria333

1 Reply

  • Leonie_Moore's avatar
    Leonie_Moore
    Member
    14 years ago

    Hi Maria,  It is nearly a year since my chemo finished - 9th June 2011.  I have been reflecting of late - "last year I was on chemo" - what a difference now.  I too have the after effects of Arimidex and have said no more chemo.  I still have my protocath in and have to visit the oncology unit every 5 weeks to get it flushed out.  I always smile nicely at those who are hooked up to chemo potions and am so pleased to be in and out quickly.  I am still to have my mammo and ultrasound since diagnosis back in Dec 2010.  I will be very apprehensive when it happens.  I wish I could think normally again sometimes without the "bc monkey on my back". Good luck with your yoga.  I went to a session during chemo (no hair days) and then the instructor went away to Italy for more training.  On her return I was unable to go back as the dreaded after effects had set in. (I couldn't get up and down to work on the floor)  Maybe some day I will be able to.  I am presently trying Lyrica for pain relief before considering stopping Arimidex wich of course is a scarey thing to have to contemplate.  XLeonie