Not what I wanted to hear

Thanks Tanya, that means a lot to me.  I know I tend to overthink things, but I don't want to give this disease anymore control than what it already has.  Still quite a bit upset, but I manage to get a bit of control over it.   I have re-evaluated everything and I guess by having to discuss it with and inform people, it helps reinforce why I really have to do it.  I like to think I am logical.  It starts to make sense and deep down I know it is the right thing to do, just didn't really want to have to do it just yet.  But I have made it 5 years of advanced without it, and even my oncologist commented that he was expecting me to have had to have it about 3 years ago, so I have exceeded his expectations.

Have to tell my girls on Friday night.  I haven't told them yet as two of them have their exams this week and I don't want them to lose focus on that because things won't change for them schoolwise next year. 

I might take them out with me to go looking for a wig and scarves.  When I was first diagnosed, we just naturally thought that chemo would be first, but it didn't end up that way.  We had the discussion back then and they were all prepared to go shopping with me and I think in their own funny way, they were disappointed when I told them there was a change in plans at that time.  At least they have known that every three months there is the chance that things might change, won't make it any easier though.

I plan on using a lot of all the different ideas that everyone has put forward.  Once again I am so relieved that this site is here for everyone.  The amount of knowledge and support that comes through in such a short space of time is probably one of the most important aspects of the site.  We all know what our doctors tell us, but it is far more reassuring when you speak to the people who have actually or are going through it.

Everyone out there on this site is amazing and I thank you all.  What a wonderful "family".

Thank you.

Tracey