No so scared .. But now angry

Hi Just feeling the need to vent .. It's now been nearly 2 months that they gave me the news I never wanted to hear ... And while physically I feel fine .. I am starting to feel really angry .. I was staying positive and making plans .. And I talk to the physchologist and the onco and they tell me make short term plans not long term ones I'm only thinking 6 months in advance and it really brings me down what are they trying to tell me in a round about way .. And then I think why not I still have to have dreams .. Being positive and not believing I'm going to die surely has to be better for me ,. All my liver tests are improving .. They are nearly in the normal range and my cancer markers have halved I don't have ct scans till the end of January to see if any tumours are shrinking ... But surely the bloods give me reason to hope .. And I've never really been sick or in pain just a bit tired and achy sometimes I'm finding it really hard to get on with life at this stage .. I'm not in denial I just want to think that I am one of the lucky ones that this can be managed for years to come .. I guess what it comes down to is that my life is not my own anymore they control it now what I do where I go .. And if I don't do everything they say I will die ... And I know it's only early days and I shouldn't feel like this .. I sound ungrateful but I'm not .. I'm just really sad and angry at the moment ..