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Hazel_M's avatar
Hazel_M
Member
12 years ago

New Normal

Hello Ladies, I have read many times on this website about having to find a 'new normal' when treatment is finished. Haven't quite got my head around it 100% but it's starting to kick in. I am 2 weeks post radiation and before that 18 weeks of chemo, I soon will start to start taking my hormone tablets so there is still more unknown ahead of me. The oncologist did say that I would feel like an old lady and she couldn't have been more right! Little things like walking up or down stairs, I know have to think about being careful whereas before I just did it. I have sore knees and ankles and have lost some confidence since I had a little fall a while back. When I wake up I have to sit on the side of the bed for a little while before I stand up because I have developed vertigo and my legs don't want to work first thing in the morning. I'm still fatigued and have no date to return to work. My bar attendant job is waiting for me and some days I don't know how I will manage to run the bar. This is not really a whinge, I guess it sounds like one, just acknowledging that things are different from how they used to be. My partner and I have started to reclaim our garden ( things got out of control when we both were ill). Takes us a fair while to finish a job, we both need to have constant rests. When I am in the garden, I look up into the sky and think I'm really a lucky person just to be here and promise myself to enjoy the good moments and try not to get bogged down in the bad stuff. This is not always easy for me with my depression, but I'm making an effort. I have found my anxiety has eased lately, I think that's because the BC process has made me realise that the little problems are just that, little problems:) I've been waffling away, haven't I? Anyhow, hope everyone is travelling ok, take care, 

Hazel xx

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  • Hazel_M's avatar
    Hazel_M
    Member
    12 years ago

    That's a good point, not looking back and comparing. That is one thing I kept doing and always feeling a little sorry for myself. I'm getting a better grip on the new normal  now and thank you for sharing your light bulb moment, you always put things in perspective in a succinct way. Saw my oncologist today and she was very understanding. My vitamin D levels are down which is quite common and my restless legs are keeping me awake at night, she has prescribed some things for me that should ease these problems. Thanks again,

    Hazel xx

  • Robyn_W's avatar
    Robyn_W
    Member
    12 years ago
    You have done an outstanding job Hazel,getting though all your treatments,and managing your partners illness and your depression as well.I just read Deannes post,and two things that she said,resonate with me.I also,get tired easily,especially in the evening,and I get flustered easily,if I have too much going on at once.This is definitely a leftover from chemo for me,as I didn't have radiotherapy.Try not to worry about Tamoxifen Hazel.I am finding it fine,and my hot flushes are definitely starting to lessen.Stay in touch Hazel.Cheers xoxRobyn
  • Deanne's avatar
    Deanne
    Member
    12 years ago
    Talking with a nurse today who was treating me for lymphedema, she said something which finally made a connection in my understanding of what our new normal is. I was saying that it is difficult to move forward and put cancer out of your mind when there are things which you have to do differently all the time because of it. She said that making these things part of your routine so that you don't have to think about it being different is the way to move on. When they just become automatic or just a liitle part of your day then you don't need to consciously think about the impact of having had cancer all the time. I guess we have to stop looking backwards and comparing our life before and after getting breast cancer. Things are never going to be like that again and just as with any life changing event we gradually learn to adapt a new way of living. Some of it good some of it not so but a life we can appreciate anyway. It was just one of those light bulb moments for me and I finally made sense of the 'new normal' phrase. :) Deanne xx
  • Deanne's avatar
    Deanne
    Member
    12 years ago
    It sounds like you are being realistic about your recovery and not expecting to bounce back just because treatment has ended (although it must be a relief to have finished except for the unknown of hormone therapy). Just as we all have different side effects, it seems that our bodies are affected in different ways at the end of treatment too. I wonder if a lot of the symptoms we tend to blame on hormone therapy might actually be left over from chemo and radio? It is now over 6 months since I finished chemo and radio and I still have some effects (big toe nails still recovering, sore spots still from radio, etc). While most days I feel ok I find I still get tired, especially in the evening and I still have trouble with concentration. I am more easily flustered if too much is happening. Luckily I have very understanding friends and family. While I have not returned to work, I am gradually increasing my work from home but find some days are better than others. I have made some silly errors and find it hard to be as organized as before. BUT, I try to go easy on myself and my new motto is " if it's not life threatening then it will sort out and be ok". I aim for calmness (but don't always achieve it!) as I know this helps me function better and makes me easier to be around for everyone else! Just keep taking it one step at a time and I hope that hormone therapy goes ok for you. Keep in touch. Deanne xxx