Forum Discussion
My story
You think it will never happen to you, until it does.
I was diagnosed with breast cancer on 20 July 2016.
I'm 35 and married for less than 2 years. My husband and I had only recently started trying to start a family.
Up until the day of my diagnosis, I always thought that I was leading a healthy, active lifestyle - 3 times a week min at the gym, ate a balanced diet, kept stresses of daily living to the minimum, and was generally a happy and positive person.
What a difference a day makes.
My life has been turned upside down and inside out. I never knew it was possible to feel this much anguish, despair and sadness. To say the last month has been an emotional roller coaster is an understatement. The one constant in the past 30 days has been a free flow of tears, there were days when i thought i had almost cried myself dry.
Life is so cruel.
I look around me and all my friends are living happy and healthy lives - planning trips overseas, having babies and have bright futures ahead of them. For me, well, my life has been reduced to taking it 'one day at a time'. I feel robbed - of all the things that come so easily to others, yet is now elusive and not within my reach. Friends try to be supportive and reassuring, but really.. they offer a few words of sympathy and feel sorry for me. After that, they go back to living their happy, cancer-free lives..
I have my good days and my bad days. Some days i feel like i can fight this yet other days it's all to overwhelming and i feel my life over - derailed, and never to get back on track again. I feel angry, bitter, disappointed, depressed.. and so much more.
Cancer is now the last thing on my mind before i sleep, and the first thing i think about when i wake up. I will never be the same again - a part of me already died the day i received my cancer diagnosis.
26 Replies
- Hi, this is my first post. I was also diagnosed on July 20. YLY and ccasper - I know what a shock I got so I can't imagine how difficult and unexpected it must be to have a diagnosis at such a young age. My thoughts are with you both.
I had my 55th birthday on July 11 and had a lovely dinner out with my husband. On July 12 I got a call back from a routine mammogram and the roller-coaster started. I think my birthday will be my last ever day of living in happy oblivion!
Like YLY I thought I was healthy and had no idea there was anything wrong. Sneaky disease.
On July 13 Breast screen did another mammogram, followed by an ultrasound and 3 core biopsies. By this time this was over I had a gut feeling I had cancer. I think I went straight into acceptance mode and was ready for the cancer confirmation on July 20. Everything moves so fast - it is like your life is taken out of your hands and you are passed from person to person.
In reading the stories of so many of you amazing, strong women I know I have been one of the lucky ones. My IDC was small and only grade one and there was no cancer in the 3 sentinel lymph nodes. I chose to have a nipple sparing mastectomy with immediate impact reconstruction. I shed my first tears when my surgeon gave me the good histology result.
I'm only a small B cup (actually that's being generous!) so not enough of me to cope with a lumpectomy. So almost 6 weeks on I have healed well but total breast numbness is taking some getting used to. In the last week nerve pain in my left arm has reduced and physio exercises are improving flexibility.
So no chemo and radiation for me but I am 9 days into taking Arimidex. I've read so much information about this drug and was very anxious about taking it due to all the negative feedback. My oncologist made it very clear that if I want the best chance of a cancer free future there is no option. My GP is working with me with complementary medicine and diet suggestions to counter balance any side effects. So far so good!
I don't know when to expect side effects to kick in? I'd be really interested to hear from anyone taking Arimidex who has some positive feedback or hints and tips to overcome and negatives. I have another 3 weeks off before heading back to full time work and just want to get back to (new) normal.
Wishing all of you all the best with your treatment. Be kind to yourselves.
Jane x Yep, organic is definitely worth the extra cost. It tastes so much better. Good luck to you as well ??
Anytime YLY.....
Of course it is important to feel everything you want to feel and do feel.... x
If you are in Brisbane a couple girls and I are creating a support/meet up group, you are always welcome.
Much Love x
Hi Gem
sounda similar to me with the organic change.
how amazing does organic food taste!!! Veggies are a whole new flavor. Glad you almost done with treatment. All the best to you and your husband x
Hi sorry,
i did mean YLY.
It's so tough what we are all going through but I reached my first milestone of halfway through the first 4 chemo's and the oncologist can already feel the lump has shrunk.
In regards to my eating habits, I know they say not to do any drastic dieting but drastic times call for drastic measures sometimes. In saying that I still eat pretty normal.
i went to my GP who is quite holistic and said to her that I want to give my body the best possible chance of getting through this. So she advised me to:
- cut out sugar
- eat organically as possible
- fresh juices or smoothies with plenty of green veggies
- lots of fruit and veggies
- spelt sourdough
- grass fed meats or organic chicken
thats the basics really but since having chemo my body is craving certain foods and I find I do not want much dairy. Each to their own with their journey and I know after two chemo's, (which is not a lot I know). I feel flat for a few days post chemo and a little tired but I generally have been feeling really well. Let me know if you have any other questions ????
I have asked and cried myself over the same question. I wish I had the answer, it's just not bloody fair!. If you haven't already you will become angry which is a normal emotion as well. Be kind to yourself and take each day at a time. I have had the worst year and lost my mum on my birthday as well.... All I can tell you is you will become stronger! and you will surprise yourself! I found that I have come to love myself through this struggle. I am sending you big hugs! Look after yourself. Xxx
Hi YLY,
I am so sorry you have found yourself here. I am 30 and was diagnosed on March 10, 2016. 6 days later my husband was diagnosed with colon cancer. I completely understand every one of your emotions because I've been there. Watching friends go on with their lives as normal and feeling jealous about it. It's hard and the bad days will definitely make you feel like you can't go on but you really do need to fight through them because you can definitely do this.
I am nearly through my chemo, 2 more sessions to go, then bilateral mastectomy Sept 22, followed by radiation. I too was healthy before this but have changed my diet and now eat organic where ever possible, red meat only once a fortnight, no refined sugar, gluten or dairy.
Good luck. I hope treatment treats you kindly x
Christel,
Reading your post lifted my spirits, so thank you for taking the time to respond. I hope that in time, I'll be able to be strong like you, and continue to move forward in life! I really admire the fact that you have been able to maintain your sense of humour, and i'm sure that has helped greatly in your BC journey.
At the moment for me though, it'll still too raw.. a sea of tears, frustration, despair and disbelief. I wake up some mornings thinking this is all just a very bad nightmare, but then i snap out of it just as quickly, and am hit with the awful realisation that this is all very real, and that this is my reality now.
I agree with seeking professional help and have requested for a referral to see a psychologist. Like you, I strongly feel that I need to speak to someone completely outside of my family and circle of friends. I'm hoping that the psychologist that I'm seeing next week can be my 'baggage carousel'!
Wishing you love and light, and thank you again for being kind, positive and uplifting.
YL
Sorry CCASPER, I re-read your post and realised you were referring to having the same diagnosis date as me.
Since that fateful day, I have wondered who else would be walking in my shoes, and get the BC devastating news. I saddens me to think that everyday, countless unsuspecting women around the world get this piece of life changing news, as we did. <sigh>
Hi CCASPER,
Did you mean you were diagnosed as the same day as me on 20 July 2016 or Christel's diagnosis date?
Would you mind sharing how you have altered your eating habits? It would be good get to get some tips as I'd like to eat even more healthy and also practise yoga to help me along this BC journey.
Thanks in advance. Wishing you all the very best.
YL
