My d-day

About a month ago...around mid December 2010 I felt a small bump on the bottom of my left breast as I was shaving my armpits.  I thought I felt something that is and then I had to really try hard to find it again because it wasn't all that noticeable.  I honestly didn't think much of it but for some reason decided to ask my husband if he could feel anything there that night.  My beautiful husband then demanded that I go have our doc have a look at it.  I knew that he was being over paranoid but decided to have it looked at so he wouldn't bug me about it.  A few days later I went to the doctor that delivered my daughter to have the merena iud (birth control) put in - I meant to ask him about the bump but because I had both kids with me and it was a bit stressful, I completely forgot to ask. So, my husband was not a happy camper and made me call our family doc the next day to make an appt.  I got straight in to see him and honestly felt a bit silly taking time out of his day to look at my tiny breast bump. He assured me that it was nothing but asked me to have an ultrasound done just to be sure if was just a cyst.  I sat on the referral letter for a couple weeks because I didn't see any urgency to it and almost forgot about it because it just wasn't a priority in my already busy life with work, kids, etc.  I decided to call and make the appointment only because my neighbor's daughter was on school holidays and I knew I could have her watch the kids while I went in for the appointment.  The appointment was on Wednesday, January 12, 2011....immediately during the ultrasound, the lady said she wanted to have a biopsy done just be sure it was nothing and it would mean waiting for about 30 minutes until the doctor arrived and since I didn't have an appt, they'd have to fit my in.  Ofcourse, I was thinking how ridiculous this whole thing was and that I needed to get home and do laundry, etc. She came out to the waiting room to sit by me and ask if I had any questions which I thought was strange and ofcourse I had none because this was all just nonsense.  The biopsy was very easy...they simply put a needle in the bump and wala - send it off to the labs...I had remembered reading somewhere that if a biopsy draws blood, it often means cancer. I didn't see the sample but I did see the look on the man's face to the lady and I think I knew then.  I told my family doc that if the results came in on Thursday or Friday to just call Trevor because I'd be at work and can't answer my phone while there.  At about 2 p.m. Friday, January 14 my life as I knew changed when my husband told me the news. Since then, I've gone through every imaginable emotion including "why me?", "why not that lady over there?"...I'm slowly getting over those feelings and now believe that God has given me this awful disease as a way for me to discover my true passion in life. I have always been envious of people that have a true passion for their work because I never have. This must be God's way of pointing me in a certain direction and once I've beat this and I WILL, I'll wait for him to show me what that is.  We have received a glimmer of hope in that our CT and bone scans have come back clear.  This Thursday is a big day when we meet with our surgeon to discover what lies ahead.