More Surgery

Hi Ladies.   I had my lumpectomy and full axillary clearance on 9th December.    I spend two days in hospital and came home with a drain, which I still have today.    Can't say I'm enjoying the drain, but hopefully can have it removed tomorrow (if it remains under 30 ml).     Had my follow up appointment today and received the news I really didn't want to hear.   The surgeon is not happy with the margin so wants to go in again and remove the nipple.     I had 43 lymph nodes removed, 20 of which contained cancer - grade 3.     To say I'm scared of further surgery is probably an understatement.    I know it will be minor compared to the first, but just having to go through the whole process again fills me with dread.    Being grade 3 cancer and with so many nodes involved, my doctor said they will be giving me the most aggressive chemo treatment, however, they have yet to figure out what mix they are going to give me.   I will be seeing the oncologist after my second surgery.   Feeling very upset and depressed about the prospect of further surgery and then chemo, followed by at least six weeks of radiation.    I feel like I have been given the worst Christmas present ever and it's just not fair!!!!   Sorry for the whinging but just have to get it out.   I'm sick of staying positive and being strong - today I just want to say WHY ME!!!!!!  

Anyway, hope all you ladies are doing ok.  

Jo xx