Mastectomy emotions
I’m currently lying in my hospital bed after having my bilateral mastectomy, lymph node clearance and chemo port removed. Saw my kids for the first time after the op yesterday afternoon. They wanted...
Forum Discussion
@silverlining I had a phone conversation with my Psychologist 1 week prior to my Mastectomy, I hadn't spoken to her in over 2 yrs. I was struggling mentally/emotionally so very much, and she said that generally, you will hit this before the operation or after it. I was the before, and apart from 1 cry when I got home looking at my battered bruised body as I had immediate diep flap recon, I was ok.
It didnt matter how I tried to look at it, I just couldnt see any positive to having it done. I loved my boobs, I did only lose 1 as I didnt need to lose both, but it was traumatic. My Psych was so great, she said to me, that it was a physicality, that because we have attachment obviously to everything physical about us because that is what we see and others too...that we think we are defined that way. The challenge for me was looking deeper as she said, that nothing is altered, the essence of everything I am is still the same...just the physical is altered. I dont know why, but it resonated for me and a shift occurred enough for me to get through it. I honestly dont think we ever completely get over it because its like grieving, its a process and in terms of acceptance of it and the whole treatment and BC?? I dont think we do either, we learn to walk the path with the knowledge and experience of it all and we do move forward.
So I say, let the flood gates open, acknowledge everything you feel, its valid, and it's real. It is super painful like grief, but you will come through it, by nurturing you and being gentle with yourself.
Big hugs to you. xo Melinda
It didnt matter how I tried to look at it, I just couldnt see any positive to having it done. I loved my boobs, I did only lose 1 as I didnt need to lose both, but it was traumatic. My Psych was so great, she said to me, that it was a physicality, that because we have attachment obviously to everything physical about us because that is what we see and others too...that we think we are defined that way. The challenge for me was looking deeper as she said, that nothing is altered, the essence of everything I am is still the same...just the physical is altered. I dont know why, but it resonated for me and a shift occurred enough for me to get through it. I honestly dont think we ever completely get over it because its like grieving, its a process and in terms of acceptance of it and the whole treatment and BC?? I dont think we do either, we learn to walk the path with the knowledge and experience of it all and we do move forward.
So I say, let the flood gates open, acknowledge everything you feel, its valid, and it's real. It is super painful like grief, but you will come through it, by nurturing you and being gentle with yourself.
Big hugs to you. xo Melinda